All kinds of rabbit holes
by honeyandvodka
Summary: Her favourite author just bought her a drink? Shut. The. Front. Door. What if Castle and Beckett met five years earlier?
1. Chapter 1

The woman sitting across the restaurant made perhaps the saddest scene he'd ever witnessed. Short dark hair, she's gorgeous. Probably early twenties. But her body language betrays her grief, and the haunted look in her eyes might be the darkest thing he's ever seen.

"Richard!" Gina's sharp voice pulls him back to his own table. "Stop checking out that girl and listen to me."

"No, no-" He tries to hide it. "I wasn't checking- not like that. She just looks… sad." He plays the author card. "Plus, it's my job. To study the human condition. Really."

"Rick, really." Gina grimaces. He closes his eyes, briefly. Wondering how he got here. Why things with Gina were going so far and so fast down a path he- if he was truly honest with himself- a path he didn't want to take. Looking up at her, he knows, exactly why. Because she's there, and available. And he's so tired of being alone. Maybe that's why he's so intrigued by the woman in the restaurant. He wants to know her story, know why she's alone. Someone that beautiful shouldn't be alone.

He steals (what he tells himself) his last glance at her- and her glass of wine is empty. Before he can stop himself, he's signalling the waiter. "Another drink for the young lady at the table by the window, please."

"Indeed, sir. And for yourselves?"

Rick looks at his own glass- half full, and Gina's- empty. Oops.

"Same again for me please." Gina speaks up. Her voice ice, glaring at Richard.

The waiter nods, leaves, and Gina speaks again. "Seriously?"

It's Rick's turn to grimace. "Sorry. Author thing. Really. I got distracted by the story."

"You got distracted by the hot girl across the room. Again. She's half your age, so really. Leave it be." He hears her silent plea. _And don't embarrass me._

* * *

Kate breaks her unseeing glare from the melting snow outside the window. She looks up, confused, as the waiter places a new glass of wine in front of her. "I didn't order this?" Or had she? Honestly, there's a part of her that doesn't know. She comes here each year, and she doesn't know why. She knows _why_, of course, but why she makes herself, can't stop herself, she doesn't know. Just knows that she has to. Can't stop herself. Even now. Five years later. And she doesn't know for sure that she didn't order the wine, on autopilot.

"No, no," the waiter assures her. "It's from that table over there. The gentleman noticed your glass was empty."

Kate's no stranger to men buying her drinks, but from a couple? Her mind boggles and she's suddenly furious. She has an idea that she looks like crap- she's not stupid, she knows her grief is all over her face- but a couple sending her a drink? What kind of game are they playing? Not one she's interested in, that's for sure. She looks across, but neither of them are watching her. They look like they're arguing. The guy is hot, though, and he looks kind of familiar. And if he had been alone, and bought her a drink, the way she's feeling, today? She would have taken him home with her without a second thought. She sighs audibly, but the waiter is gone and there's no one there to hear her.

She doesn't know what makes her do what she does next.

* * *

Half his age. Huh. He's only in his early thirties, and so what? He glares back at Gina. Again, sighing inwardly, that they're here at all, doing this. Whatever it is that they're doing. She works for his publisher, she's hot. But it's not enough of a reason to go down this rabbit hole. Not when his daughter's heart is at stake too. He's just so miserable- he can't bring himself to miss Meredith, not exactly- but when they were good, they were really good. At some things, at least. And he finds himself not at all curious to know if he'd be that good with the blonde in front of him, whose foot is moving against his calf.

"Now look what you've done."

"What?" God, what is it about Gina that brings out the whiny in him? This is a bad idea. This is not happening. He's going to end this now, before it begins.

"She's coming over, Rick," Gina hisses. "Your tween girlfriend. God knows what she's thinking. She'll probably proposition the both of us."

He wiggles his eyebrows. "Could be fun." But his heart's not in it, and he does feel old, suddenly, and he wants to go home. Alone.

The brunette is hesitant and anger is flashing in her eyes as she approaches. "So. Thanks for the drink." She looks anything but thankful.

"You're… welcome?" It's a question, and it softens her, suddenly.

"No, really. Thank you. It was unnecessary- and- you look familiar…?" She's trying to place him, her hesitation gone, replaced with curiosity and she's faintly aware, staring into his blue eyes, that this is the best she's felt all day. All week.

He extends his hand, smiling. "Richard Castle."

She freezes. Her favourite author just bought her a drink? Shut. The. Front. Door.


	2. Chapter 2

_He extends his hand, smiling. "Richard Castle."_

_She freezes. Her favourite author just bought her a drink? Shut. The. Front. Door._

Kate's mind is reeling. Her favourite author just bought her a drink. She looks at the woman he is with. Her favourite author is clearly on a _date_- and he bought _her_ a drink. This is the weirdest day she has had. Ever. And she's had some weird ones. She runs through a catalogue of reactions in her mind- ranging from calling him on the fact he is on a date with someone else, to walking away, and- briefly- to throwing down the gauntlet and flirting with him until he walks away from his date (she rolls her eyes at herself for that one) and settles on a decision, biting her lower lip. Fuck. She's going to play the fangirl card, because frankly, given the situation, anything else is beyond her.

"Willyousignmybook?" Shit. _Sentences, Beckett_, she tells herself. _Use words and sentences, like an actual human being. _She's mortified, thinking- I used to be able to say entire words and sentences without sounding like an idiot- but it's Richard-freaking-Castle in front of her, and, as the case may be, she actually has a copy of one of his books in her purse back at her table.

He beams at her. "Of course." And then a moment of hesitation- "do you actually have a book here, for me to sign? One of mine, I mean? Not that I wouldn't sign a Patterson-" Gina is sinking down in her seat across from him, and although he is faintly embarrassed that he's brought this situation upon them, he can't bring himself to be sorry. This woman standing here, looking for all the world like a deer in headlights, is just so… intriguing. Beautiful, yes, and clearly haunted, and possibly unstable, now that he thinks about it, registering the conflicting emotions on her face. But mostly, intriguing.

"I have a book. Your book-" She breaks off, and returns to her table to get her purse, cursing herself for bringing a dog eared copy of such an old book. Kate wishes she had the latest _Derrick Storm_ with her, but it wasn't like she was expecting this, and she hadn't even been planning on reading the thing. She had expected her day to be miserable, so she grabbed a _Castle_ book off her shelf on the way out the door. Not the first time she'd done that, and probably not the last. She's well aware that carrying a crime fiction novel around is an unusual security blanket, but it is what it is.

Rick follows her back to her table- no way he's making her walk back and notice the daggers Gina is shooting them both- and Kate wordlessly hands him the book. He signals a waiter to ask for a pen and finally asks. "What's your name?"

"Beckett. Kate. Kate Beckett." She groans inwardly, again, wondering where the heck her moxie has gone- any cool she ever had has abandoned her- but she remembers, as well, what today is- startled to find she had forgotten for a matter of minutes- and sighs. Not like she had a hell of a lot in reserve today of all days. She'll get her book signed, and get out of here.

"Well, Beckett, Kate, Kate Beckett. It's been a pleasure meeting you." The author smiles broadly at her as he hands the book back and he leans in to kiss her cheek, eliciting a tiny shocked gasp. Kate can't meet his eyes as he steps away and smiles awkwardly, chewing her lip again.

"Thank you. For the book. And the drink." And she's suddenly exhausted beyond all comprehension and wants out of this mind fuck that is happening _today_ of all days, with the drink buying and book signing and cheek kissing. He seems to get that she's done with the conversation and he nods, and turns, walking back to his table, to Gina.

When he turns back to look at her one last time, she's gone.

* * *

"What the hell was that, Rick?"

"What? I'm an author. People ask me to sign my books." Rick rubs his face with his right hand before conceding. "Look, I shouldn't have bought her a drink. But I noticed her and she looked so sad, and I wanted to do something nice- and she's a fan so I could even sign her book." He smirked. Thank God Gina hadn't been there to see what he wrote in the book. He hadn't been able to stop himself. The physical pull he'd felt toward her- Kate- was so strong that it had taken all his restraint to see the turmoil in her eyes and limit himself to just kissing her cheek before walking away. He wanted this night with Gina to end- he wanted everything with Gina to end, well before it truly began. And he wanted to see Kate again. He wanted her story and he wanted her.

* * *

What. The. Actual. Fuck?

Kate bites back tears and an uncomfortable feeling of humiliation. What is going on? It's _today_ and she cannot- _will not_- deal with any more drama. The exhaustion that has been shadowing her since she woke up this morning (shadowing her all week) hits her, hard, and she throws the book against on the floor in an uncharacteristic moment of passion, anger burning her cheeks. Why she's so angry she can't really even say, just has an awful feeling of fear in the pit of her stomach. She closes her eyes for a second and presses her fingertips to her eyelids as if to push back tears.

Opening her eyes, she studiously avoids looking at the book on the floor and walks through the kitchenette to the bathroom, pulling at her clothes as she walks, and turning the shower taps to scalding before she even has her shirt off. She finishes undressing and steps into the steam, the hot needles of water, and sinks onto the shower floor, leans her forehead against the still cool tile. And allows what she denied all day. She weeps.

As the water gets cooler- it happens too quickly in this apartment, Kate pulls herself together, assesses. She's still angry, but mostly with herself. There is no reason for her reaction. It was a weird day, she tells herself, and it was a weird encounter this evening. Her stomach rumbles and she actually laughs, as she realises she left before the pasta she ordered even got to her table. Without paying. She kind of grins to herself as she wonders whether Richard Castle, Mister arrogant writer himself, paid for her whole bill instead of just the drink that he'd so inappropriately sent to her table _while on a date with someone else_.

Just like that, she's not angry any more. She can almost see the funny side. She'd waited until she was well away from the restaurant, on the subway, before allowing herself to open the book, read the inscription. She had opened the pages of _Flowers for her grave_ with such reverence, spell bound that she'd met Richard Castle. She had expected his signature, at best a "to Kate", or perhaps a "dear Beckett". She hadn't expected what she saw. Not words. Instead, just a number. His phone number.

What. The. Actual. Fuck?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: To the people who have left reviews. Thank you. Very much. I haven't written fanfic (or anything) for the better part of a decade and suddenly this is spilling out of me. I appreciate each and every review, follow and favourite. I hope I'm capturing some part of an early Beckett and Castle that you can believe in.**

* * *

_She had expected his signature, at best a "to Kate", or perhaps a "dear Beckett". She hadn't expected what she saw. Not words. Instead, just a number. His phone number. _

_What. The. Actual. Fuck?_

* * *

Rick is sitting in his study, laptop open, fingers resting upon the keyboard, still. He misses the days his fingers flew across the letters, making a mockery of qwerty. These days it seems like every word is a struggle, and he finds himself writing variations on the same death scene over and over. But instead of it being a victim Derrick could investigate, the scene is Derrick's. He hasn't admitted it to anyone at Black Pawn yet, least of all Gina, but he is done with Derrick. So very done. Multiple book contract be damned. As far as he's concerned, this is the last one.

Gina, he contemplates. This could be a surefire way to be certain she was as done with him as he was with her and Derrick both. Killing off Derrick might be the easiest way to get her to stop calling. Although, he mused, he was relieved that each of her recent phone calls in the last week had been cool on her end- she hadn't shied away from harassing him for the _Storm_ chapters he owed her, but she had held her tongue about their disastrous date the week before.

And damn, he thinks. It had been a week and he was still seeing Kate's face, her sad eyes, every time he closed his eyes. His mystery woman. Every time his phone had rung he'd leapt at it, hoping for an unfamiliar number. Every time it had been Alexis, or his mother, or Gina. Once it had been Meredith.

Ugh. He made a face, replaying that conversation in his head. Meredith had been babbling about seeing Alexis more, which in theory was a solid plan since he wanted his daughter to know her mother. But in reality, Meredith was at best unreliable and at worst, downright neglectful, so no, he did not foresee a time in the near future that he would willingly put Alexis on a plane to L.A. by herself. He sigh, aware that this meant he would have to fly with Alexis across the country soon in order to placate Meredith. It meant he would take a week showing Alexis around Los Angeles, meeting up with Meredith a handful of times, and it meant he would be the one to deal with the fallout in the following weeks as his nine year old asked him directly and indirectly why her mother wasn't interested in being a mom.

He had to admit to himself, the chances of his mystery woman calling were getting slimmer by the day.

* * *

Kate wasn't going to call him. She wasn't. What had happened was an anomaly. So she'd had a weird night. Met her favourite (hot) author, had her book signed. Never mind he'd only left his number instead of a blase-slash-inspiring message. She wasn't going to call him because she'd met him for all of five minutes, and he'd been on a date with another woman. She was no stranger to page six- his reputation preceded him- and she was going to ignore his advances. No, she was not going to be another one of Rick Castle's conquests, thank you very much. It was just (and she rolled her eyes at herself) … the fleeting feeling of calm she'd felt as she'd stared into his eyes as she thanked him for the drink… she just wanted to recreate that peace. If she could. But, she reminded herself, she couldn't. Because she wasn't going to call him.

Kate's week had been rough, but not rougher than usual. NYPD uniforms worked long hours at the best of times, and Kate wasn't the best at taking down time when it came along. There was always more paper work, and the more hours you clocked in the precinct the more you heard, the easier it was to make sure you were the one the detectives gave the work too. This week she'd actually been pulled from burglary and put on a homicide. Standing around keeping the press away from the crime scene wasn't much, but it was something. It was a big case, the wife of a prominent business man had been found dead in the park in apparent mugging and she was desperate to get in on it, take a look at the time line. It meant being her best, making sure the lead detective knew she was there. But this week she'd been torn. Her drive was there but there had been moments, she had to admit to herself, mere moments, in which she was distracted. By the conversation she was having with herself on repeat. In which she was sure she wasn't going to call him.

Damn it. She wasn't calling. She wasn't. She sigh. She was so going to call him.

* * *

Rick's contemplating _Plan B_. Combing over the details in his mind. He knows her name, first and last. That's obviously the key to this case. He knows she has dark hair and dark eyes, that she's sexy as hell, that she was eating alone at an Italian restaurant. His brain screams- _why was she alone?_ She drinks red wine, and she's possibly enough of a fan that he flustered her and she left without eating. (Gina was not impressed when he paid her bill as well as theirs.) So it's not nothing, and he knows the mayor and he guesses the mayor can help him out with finding him a detective who could possibly lend a hand in tracking down his mystery woman. Especially since he has her name. So he's all ready to move on to plan B, when his phones rings. And his heart leaps as he sees he doesn't recognise the number.

"Hello." He's trying for sexy and aloof. He's met with silence on the other end. "Hello?"

"Hi." She's silent again, but he knows it's her. He imagines her biting her lip. Like she had in the restaurant. Kind of vulnerable, yes, but mostly sexy.

"Beckett? Kate? I was just formulating plan B!" He sounds delighted, now.

"Plan B? Wha- I…" She pauses. "What do you mean?"

"Why, Kate. I was formulating plan B. It seemed like plan A- get you to call me- wasn't going to work- so I was coming up with a plan B. Of how to find you. Maybe with a detective!"

"O-kay." He hears her hesitation, and something that sounds like a laugh. "Well, I guess your plan A worked out. Because here I am. Calling you. And I have no idea why."

He has a few ideas why, and they don't involve clothing, but he bites his tongue. She's taken a week to call him and he's not used to waiting that long. Or at all. So he doesn't want to scare her away. "Can I buy you a drink, Kate? Maybe tonight?" She's silent again, for so long that he pulls the phone away from his ear to check they're still connected. "Kate?"

"Not a drink," she says, finally. "And not tonight. I'm working. But I'm taking a break in an hour, if you want to meet me for a coffee?"

"Coffee," he agrees. "I can do coffee. Where do you want to meet?"

She tells him, and hangs up. And he feels like a kid on Christmas day.

* * *

Kate wasn't sure what she hoped to achieve by meeting him on her break. In her uniform. But she sure wasn't getting any work done, so forcing herself to take the lunch hour and meeting Richard Castle at the same time seemed like a way to kill two birds with one stone. So she paused before she entered Remy's, and looked around to see if any of her colleagues were there. She sees Michaelson at the counter, ordering coffee, but no one else. She unpops the top button of her shirt and pushes the door open.

He's sitting in a booth already. He beams at her as she walks in, and she is struck by how blue his eyes are. And how easy it would be to get lost in them. _Focus, Beckett_, she tells herself, and smiles back at him.

"You're a cop!" He looks ready to jump out of his skin. "That is so cool."

Kate chuckled. "That impresses you, huh?" She's had a few guys hit on her while she's in the uniform, she knows it does it for some people. She can't say that's not a draw of the job. She doesn't really consider herself beautiful, but she thinks she's pretty on a good day, and she's happy to be considered hot. Her plan is to make detective, but if paying her dues as a uniform has other advantages, she'll take them.

He signals for a waiter, and they order. She'd planned on just getting a coffee, but she left the restaurant last week without eating, so the last thing she wants is for him to think she doesn't eat.

He's still beaming as he explains, "I'm a _mystery_ writer. I love cops! What cases are you solving at the moment?"

What's the harm, she wonders. Of course, the cases are confidential, but she supposes she could share just a little. (She looks around again, this place is close to the precinct and she doesn't want anyone to overhear her breaking confidentiality.) "So, I've been pulled onto a homicide this week- a mugging gone wrong-"

"I read about that! She was mugged in the park, right? Is that the case? Matthews' wife?" His enthusiasm is palpable.

Hmm. Telling him about this might be a mistake. He's probably not going to be satisfied with the bare bones of the case. "Right. So we're looking around for… suspects." God. She has to shut this down. She cannot discuss this case beyond what she's already said with a civilian. "We're investigating every angle."

He looks thrilled. "Investigating every angle. Of course." He nods. "So, what leads have you got?" She had thought he was trying to get in her pants. She was thinking about letting him. Instead it appears he want to pump her for information about the case. A draw card she didn't even know she had, to be honest, because most of the people who are attracted by her uniform don't want any back story. Of course, this is the man who bought her a drink across a crowded restaurant and forced his number on her- Kate flushes as she recalls how inappropriate this whole thing is.

"Castle! Rick. I actually can't discuss this case with you. It's kind of classified." She grits her teeth, takes a deep breath. She is sitting here in Remy's, drinking coffee with a man she had sort of (completely) planned to seduce, who she thought had wanted to seduce her- but he's so distracted he's like a five year old and she cannot keep sitting here if he is going to get so into this case and ignore her so thoroughly. She casts her mind around for another topic, but it's futile.

"Castle? You're calling me Castle. Like, a cop thing? How you introduced yourself as Beckett? That is so hot!"

Seriously? That's what turns him on? She rolls her eyes. "Yes, Castle. Like a cop thing. Except you are not a cop, and I can't discuss this case with you. Besides, it's pretty open and shut. It's just a mugging. Wrong place, wrong time, and suddenly Aaron Matthews is a widower. It happens." She doesn't mean the ice in her voice to be so obvious, but the bitterness is there. These wrong place, wrong time cases are the ones that get to her. But if Castle hears the bite he ignores it, opening his mouth again, and speaks slowly, obviously thinking aloud.

"Suddenly a widower, hmm? And what if, for our Mr. Matthews, it's not so sudden?"

"What do you mean?" Kate's curious in spite of herself.

"Well, as you know, I get out and about a bit…"

"Uh-huh. Different woman on your arm for each event. I'm aware." She purses her lips, narrows her eyes.

"Just how big a fan are you, Beckett?" He raises his eyebrows at her. "As I was saying. I have had occasion to meet both Aaron Matthews and his wife more than once. And not once did I ever see them look happy to be in the same room as each other. In fact, I have the very strong impression that he didn't care for her at all. If you know what I mean." He's smirking at her.

"And if everyone we've interviewed in relation to this case said their marriage was fine?"

"I, Beckett, am a writer. I watch people. I see things. I observe. It's my job. So I know I'm right, no matter what he paid to everyone you've interviewed in this case. Tell me, what was missing- her purse, jewellry?" His eyes are sparkling. She looks up at him and has to look away- damn they are blue. And suddenly, in spite of herself, she's enjoying this conversation, and the rules don't matter quite as much to her anymore as she leans in to hear more of his theory. "It seems to me that you might want to look a bit deeper into his financials, Officer."

The hour passes all too quickly. Kate's surprised by how much she's enjoying this, and how _easy_ it is to be around Rick Castle. Her attraction to him is undeniable and she keeps catching him _looking_ at her, so she can only assume the feeling is mutual. But, it's time to disentangle herself, and get back to work. She glances at her watch. Actually, she's kind of going to be late, but she's not worried- it will be the first time in a long time that she's simply taken a long lunch. "So…"

"So."

"So, it's time for me to head back. Share some of these theories with the team." She finds herself blushing at that. That he knows she's taking his ideas seriously.

"Really?" His eagerness is almost adorable. "Can I come?"

"Yeah, right. Sure. Come into my precinct, and really, tell everyone your theories, and while you're at it, tell them all about how I broke confidentiality to tell you all this."

"Really?"

Kate groans. "No, Castle. Not really. Hell no, in fact. God! Are you always this… eager?"

He laughs. "Oh, you've seen nothing yet." He leans further in toward her. "So… can I see you again? Take you out on a real date?"

Kate hesitates, and the feeling of fear is in the pit of her stomach. "I guess I'd have to think about it." She's shaking her head as she stands up and turns to go, turning back for just a second. "I've seen you on a real date, Castle. I'm not sure I want to go out with someone who gives his number to other people when he's on a date."

She's hears him calling after her, "Not my finest moment, Beckett," but she's opening the door without another glance behind her and hurrying up the street before he can catch her.


	4. Chapter 4

_"I've seen you on a real date, Castle. I'm not sure I want to go out with someone who gives his number to other people when he's on a date."_

_She's hears him calling after her, "Not my finest moment, Beckett," but she's opening the door without another glance behind her and hurrying up the street before he can catch her._

* * *

When Kate gets back to the precinct she heads straight to the time line on the white board. Given that most of her involvement with this case has been limited, at best- she's held the press off at the crime scene, and processed the paperwork associated with the interviews the detectives have run- she hasn't actually been able to take a close look at the board.

"Getting inspired, Beckett?" asks Detective Jones lazily from his desk. She doesn't mind Jones. He gives the impression of arrogance, boredom, but she thinks he might be someone who really cares about justice. And he's never checked her out, that she's noticed, and in this boys club, that's something.

"Uh-huh. Just wanted to take a look."

"Well, MacKenzie has the guy in interrogation one, now, if you want to be a fly on the wall-"

"The guy? They caught him?"

Jones nods. "Just some dealer, wrong time, wrong place, kind of thing. I think MacKenzie's pretty close to a confession."

"But what about the husband?"

"The husband?"

Beckett nods. "Mm-hmm. The husband. I have a- a source- who-"

"Who what? Spit it out Beckett."

God. Why can't she talk? She's good, she knows that, but she's so junior, and she's been taught to look at facts. She wants to be the one breaking this case open, but what if she's wrong- what if Castle is wrong- and they've got a suspect in there- she needs to be right, get it right. She can't mess this up, because the career she wants- needs- demands that she not make stupid mistakes. But, she realises, the career she wants will only exist if she takes risks, takes the leaps. So what if she's wrong? Adele Matthews still deserves every lead be looked at. "I was talking to a guy. Off the record. He knows the couple. And he suggested we take a second look at the husband. A second look at the financials. Apparently Aaron and Adele did not get along nearly as well as Aaron suggested when we interviewed him." Beckett bites her lip, sure she'll be blown off.

"Your source. Who you are yet to name. Your source thinks this, does he?" He narrows his eyes and she's sure she'll be shut down, but instead, Jones nods. "Okay. Let's go pick the husband up, bring him back in for another round of questioning-" Beckett smiles, but Jones points his finger at her. "I'm not saying you're right. But we'll check it out. And Beckett? If something comes of this, your off the record source might have to go on the record."

Beckett watched, amazed, as Jones got out of his chair, headed for the door, and turned to her. "You coming, Beckett?"

* * *

It's nine o'clock at night two days later when they break the husband. Most of the detectives working the case look too tired to care, but Jones offers a high five as he walks past Beckett to the elevator, the sparkle in his eyes apparent when he leans in. "This is it, Beckett. What we live for. Welcome to homicide. And well done."

She can only smile. "Thank you Detective."

And all Kate can think of is calling Castle and letting him know his theory was right. She's ignored his calls over the last three days- about eight of them- she'd barely even thought of him, truth be told, so thrilled to be in this homicide case, discussing the details with the detectives, sitting in on the interview as Jones and MacKenzie grilled Aaron Matthews. And now this want comes over her in a wave and she sees his eyes again, hears his voice in her head and she doesn't call, just texts- what's your address?

* * *

Kate's text comes just after ten, and he's just walking in the door to find his mother reading with Alexis on the couch. He wonders briefly if he can ignore it, but he really doesn't want to, so he replies. It's just bad timing. He'd usually be home well before ten, and more to the point, Alexis would be in bed and his mother would not be there. But it was parent teacher interview night at the school and he'd drawn the short straw and gotten the last interview. His reputation is one thing, and indeed there are a few granules of truth to it, but in reality he rarely has company over, and if he does, he makes sure his guest comes over well after Alexis is asleep, and leaves well before she gets up.

So Rick texts his address back, and crosses his fingers that she can't get here before he can get Alexis into bed and his mother out of there.

"Hey sweetie," he kisses Alexis' forehead, then sits on his mother's other side. "Mother. Thank you once again. You're a life saver."

"You're welcome of course- always happy to spend time with my favourite granddaughter-"

"Gram! I'm your only granddaughter," comes Alexis' sleepy reply, and then anxious- far too anxious for a nine year old to Rick's mind- "What did my teachers say about me, Dad?"

"Oh," he teases. "They said Alexis is noisy and disruptive and she hates to read and she won't go to bed on time!" He reaches across Martha as if to tickle his daughter and she squeals with laughter.

"Dad! They did not."

"They did not," he agrees. "They said you're a joy to have in the classroom."

Martha extracts himself from between them. "Well, if my presence is no longer required, I shall take my leave- I have places to go and people to see-" At this, Rick wrinkles his nose. He does not want to hear this. "So, farewell my dears." She kisses Alexis, makes her way to the door and opens it- to find Kate on the other side, hand poised, ready to knock.

* * *

Kate is flustered when she realises she can hear voices on the other side of the door. How can he not be on his own at ten thirty at night?This was a bad idea- she should have called, not texted, or not called or texted at all. Let it be. He could have read about Aaron Matthews in the paper, and she could have blocked his number to avoid him- and quite without willing it, she finds herself reaching up to knock- and the door opens.

Kate can see her confusion mirrored in the older red headed woman's eyes. "Hello… Officer?" And the woman turns and calls out, "Richard. The police are here-"

"No, no," flusters Kate, but the woman isn't listening, and suddenly Rick is there and from behind him a second red head appears- a child- and she thinks shit and suddenly the idea of being there at all is ridiculous, and what she was thinking, wearing the uniform over instead of changing into jeans before she left the precinct?

Rick looks vaguely uncomfortable. "Kate. Hi. I see you've met my mother, Martha. And this is Alexis-" he indicates the girl- Kate thinks she looks about eight and God, she did not know he had a daughter. Crap. He turns to Martha and Alexis; "Mother, Alexis, this is my friend Kate. She works for the NYPD. Alexis, stop looking so worried. She's not here to arrest me." He turns back to Kate with a wink- "You're not, right Beckett?"

"Right." She tries to smile, but it's more a grimace. "I'm not."

"On that note, then, I shall take my leave- Goodnight all." Kate swears Rick just rolled his eyes as his mother sweeps out of the apartment, waving at them as she leaves. Rick gestures at Kate to come in, and she reluctantly crosses the threshold.

"Dad! How come you're friends with a policewoman?!"

"Uh- well-" Rick starts, but Kate has an answer.

"Your dad helped me on a case, actually."

"You did?" Alexis looks delighted.

"I did? I did. Did I?"

"You did," Kate affirms. "We got the guy."

"Well how about that! Alexis, did you hear that? They got the guy!" Alexis giggles as Rick pulls her in for a hug. "Okay sweetheart. Up to bed, and I'll be in to tuck you in, in a minute." He releases the girl and she heads upstairs with a shy goodnight to Kate, sneaking a glance back at them halfway up the stairs.

Rick turns back to Kate, and she starts to apologise. "Sorry. I shouldn't have come. I'll go. I just- I wanted to let you know, in person, that we got the guy, and that it was thanks to you."

"Hey, no. You're welcome here. I was just surprised. And I just got home myself, thus, my mother. Baby sitting." Kate takes a step back towards the door, as though to go, but Rick shakes his head. "No, stay. Really. I'll pour you a glass of wine." He moves toward the kitchen, and before Kate can protest again, he's poured two glasses. "I really want to hear about the story. The case. Don't go anywhere! I just have to check on Alexis."

Kate's head is swimming. Who is this guy? On one hand, he gave her his number when he was on a date with someone else, he's happily alluded to his playboy lifestyle, apparently finds the cop thing a turn on. On the other hand, he didn't actually hit on her when they met for coffee, he just got really into the case- helping her solve it which, career wise, was a big deal for her, not that he would have known that. And now this. Inviting her in when his daughter is here- the daughter she didn't know he had- and radiating enthusiasm for the story, or as she preferred to call it, the case. And while he did ask her out to dinner, he hasn't made a single physical move toward her apart from kissing her cheek the night they met. And part of her wishes he would.


	5. Chapter 5

_Kate's head is swimming. Who is this guy? On one hand, he gave her his number when he was on a date with someone else, he's happily alluded to his playboy lifestyle, apparently finds the cop thing a turn on. On the other hand, he didn't actually hit on her when they met for coffee, he just got really into the case- helping her solve it which, career wise, was a big deal for her, not that he would have known that. And now this. Inviting her in when his daughter is here- the daughter she didn't know he had- and radiating enthusiasm for the story, or as she preferred to call it, the case. And while he did ask her out to dinner, he hasn't made a single physical move toward her apart from kissing her cheek the night they met. And part of her wishes he would._

* * *

When Rick comes back downstairs, he isn't sure if he will still find her there, or not. But Kate is sitting on his couch, staring into her glass of wine, and he lets out the breath he hadn't known he was holding.

He'd called her half a dozen times since he'd seen her, unable to get her out of his head. The attraction was one thing, but there was something else. Something that had stopped him from flirting, trying the charm. She reminded him of a deer in headlights and he had the distinct impression that she would flee if he pushed too hard. But, she's here, sitting on his couch, looking for all the world like she could stay there all night. And, he grins to himself, she's _hot_.

He sits beside her, silent for a second.

"I didn't know you had a daughter." She looks apologetic.

He dismisses it with a wave of his hand. "How could you? Why should you?"

"And her mother?" Kate looks around as though expecting his wife to materialise in front of them.

"Long gone."

"Oh God-" He can see it in her eyes, what she's thinking, and he cuts her off-

"Divorced. We're long divorced."

"And Alexis lives here? With you? All the time, I mean?"

He nods. "Full custody, yes." He grimaces, thinking of his phone tag with Meredith over the past few days. The voicemails she'd left had been… _unkind_, to say the least. He is dreading the trip to L.A. Which has now been arranged for the following month.

"Huh." She's studying him, now, and he's reminded of the night in the restaurant, when he'd studied her. "Single father. Not very playboy after all, Mr. Castle. Yet, here you are, coming home, late at night, and entertaining women while your daughter is sleeping. So, playboy, or no?"

"Not women. Not entertaining women. One woman. Who, I believe, invited herself over."

She groans. "I just didn't think. I missed all your calls-" (He doubts she could have missed them all _accidentally_, but he leaves it be) "-and I finished with the case-" She falls silent.

Want to know a secret?" He grins, laughs. "About where I was?"

"Sure?" She still looks hesitant, like she doesn't know if she wants to know and he has to restrain himself from leaning forward, kissing the hesitance away.

"Parent teacher interview night. At Alexis' school." Rick scratches his head, nervous, suddenly. He's all too aware of his different lives, and not happy about the paths of convergence they sometimes take. Mostly he prefers his home life to stay _at home_ (certainly part of the reason Meredith left, she loved living life on page six) but with this woman in his living room? He's not sure how long he can keep up the pretense, that the party lifestyle is anything more than a facade, a way of selling books, a way to keep from being lonely.

Kate laughs, and to Rick, the sound is golden. "Seriously? _Seriously_?"

"Seriously." He wiggles his eyebrows at her. "And here you are. So. Now that my daughter is in bed, let's get down to business-" her eyes widen, and he laughs- "and you can tell me all about the story."

"The _case_, you mean?" Her eyebrows are arched at him.

"Case, story. Whatever. I want it all." He wants her story too, but she's sitting on his couch, sipping wine, and _smiling_. He can still see the haunted look in her eyes, the one that drew him to her at the restaurant last week, but it's not _raw_ the way it was. So he'll let it be, for now. If he can.

She's been talking in the most animated way, and he's fascinated. The arch of her eyebrows, the laughter in her voice, the dry and biting humour. These are all things he could get used to. She had seemed reserved, before, but he can sense she's becoming more comfortable.

* * *

What was she even doing here? Kate thought she had known- she'd played out a few different scenarios in her mind on the way over. None had involved sitting on Castle's couch, civilly drinking wine and discussing his daughter. Who she just met. _Shit_. She was _so_ not a meet the family kind of girl. Yet, here they are, and her expectations are being blown to smithereens as she discovers that Castle is a responsible _father_. (She swears she never read that on his fansite, and she blushes, thinking about the things she _has_ read on the fansite. Crap.)

She finds herself telling him about the case, including the details that civilians most definitely shouldn't know. Kate wonders briefly, what it would be like to be a civilian who didn't know all of the things she knows, to be able to let someone else be the barrier between nightmares and things that actually go bump in the night.

She's trailed off, and would be comfortable sitting in silence for a moment, but he's opened his mouth again, and she thinks _chatterbox_, yet somehow, she kind of likes it. Likes the way his mind works, a million miles a minute, and how he's so excited by the things she's saying and has a hundred different theories or possibilities that could explain the background of the case. (She rolled her eyes when he mentioned the CIA. At least it wasn't an alien abduction theory, which she can already imagine coming out of his mouth.)

"Are they green?"

She shakes her head, focuses. "What?"

"Or brown? I suppose they could be called hazel, but… such a dull name for such amazing eyes. They change in the light, you know?"

Kate rolls her eyes at him. "We're discussing my eyes now?"

"Yes, Officer, we are. Oh!" Kate can tell he's thought of something else and the eye colour topic will be abandoned. "Officer! So, how long have you been one of New York's finest?"

"A couple of years," she tells him. "Mostly I've been working in vice, some in burglary."

"Vice? Like, hookers? Have you ever played a hooker?" Kate buries her head in her hands. The questions this man asks!

"Yeah," she admits. "A couple of times. But I think I might get called into homicide more, now. Because of the case I helped with."

"That _we _helped with!" And he's serious again, and so innocently curious, when he asks, "What are your plans? Detective? Is that next?"

"Uh-huh. Actually, yeah. That's my plan. I'll go for detective early next year, or later this year, and then-" She stops herself. And then what? Was she really going to spill her entire plan, just like that? One glass of wine, and she's talking about her tragic past? _Sure, Kate,_ she thinks bitterly. _Ruin a great night by talking about how your mother was murdered, and you are going to get justice by solving the case that no one else could. _

"Hey-" Rick has a hand around her wrist, has moved closer, concern on his face. "Are you okay? You're- you're shivering. Is it too cold in here?" He reaches behind her for the blanket, to pull it over her, and their faces are so close, close enough that she thinks he might kiss her, thinks she might kiss him- and then she is kissing him, pulling him closer. He's still for a moment, then he's kissing her back, and all she can think is _I'm kissing Richard Castle_ and a giggle escapes and she pushes him back, laughing hysterically.

"Ooooh," she groans, when she can push the laughter down. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Well, I'm not," exclaims Rick. "That was… amazing. Although… the laughing? Kind of making me a little nervous about my kissing ability?"

She turns to him, and she's embarrassed, but the part of her that wants to run out of here in shame is being beaten down by the part of her that wants to kiss him again, the part of her that wants to wrap her legs around him and just get _lost_. But she finds her voice. His daughter's face is swimming in her head too, and she knows she has to end this before it begins. Coming here tonight was a mistake. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Castle. I'm a mess. Trust me. You don't want anything to do with me." She gestures around her, at his living room, his place. "You have a nice thing going on here, Castle. Trust me, you do not want me fucking up your perfect playboy life."

Rick grabs her wrist again, looks at her with piercing eyes. His voice is almost a whisper in her ear as he leans in to her. "Well, Beckett. How about you let me decide on that. You let me decide."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you all once again for the reviews, the faves and the follows. I get a kick out of every single one. The Christmas break, however, seems to have ended, so I don't know that my next updates will be so speedy, but with any luck I'll get more up soon.  
**

* * *

"_You have a nice thing going on here, Castle. Trust me, you do not want me fucking up your perfect playboy life."_

_Rick grabs her wrist again, looks at her with piercing eyes. His voice is almost a whisper in her ear as he leans in to fill her glass of wine. "Well, Beckett. How about you let me decide on that. You let me decide."_

* * *

It's gotten late, Rick realises. Kate looks exhausted. "Kate. Let me call you a cab."

"A cab?"

"A cab. I'd drive you home, but I can't leave Alexis."

"So you don't want me to stay here, then?" Is that indignation in her voice? Has she taken offense? Or is she just hurt? He doesn't know. "You don't want… ?" Mostly, he thinks she sounds confused.

He sighs. "I want. Oh, I want. But I don't _just_ want that."

"Then why did you give me your number?" Yes, that has to be confusion in her voice.

"Kate. I was on a date with someone else the night I gave you my number." He's exasperated, explaining this to her. "If I had just wanted sex, that _wouldn't_ have been the most efficient way to get it." Not that Gina knows he gave Kate his number, but they hadn't exactly ended the evening on good terms, and he most certainly went home alone.

"So tell me, Castle. Why did you give me your number?"

"Only way I could be sure of seeing you again. Or, hope to see you again." He leans in, can't stop himself, breathes in her ear. "You're very… interesting, you know. Why don't _you_ tell me, what was a nice girl like you doing alone in that restaurant in the first place?" He dares to make it a line, wants her to know that he wants her- "Do you go there a lot?"

She jerks back, disentangles her fingers from where they've become intertwined with his. And the bitterness in her voice hits him hard in the gut, as she hisses. "I go there a lot." She shakes her head, looks like she's close to tears. "You have no idea." Before he can stop her, she's off his couch and out of his front door and in the elevator. And gone. And he sinks back down on to the couch, his head in his hands, thinking, _Rick, what _have _you gotten yourself into?_

* * *

Her phones buzzes when she's in the cab and she instinctively turns it over, opens the message. From Castle, of course, and she smiles when she reads it, for all its absurdity- _I had a great night. Good night, Officer. _It doesn't make any sense, he should be blocking her number after her performance tonight, but it makes her laugh and she has the sense that all (what's all, she wonders) is not lost.

* * *

One of the first things Beckett does when she gets into work is run a background on Castle. She doesn't really expect to find anything, but what's there has her widening her eyes in bewilderment. What in the what now? She got in at six this morning, after just a few hours sleep- she's worked out in the precinct gym, showered, made coffee- it's instant but she's not in a position to complain, gratefully gulping down the caffeine- and she feels better than if she had slept eight hours. Which is weird. She's no stranger to existing- _thriving_- on no sleep, but after a night fighting back tears and laughter and Richard Castle, she thinks she should be exhausted. But she feels better than she has in a long time, and when Jones get the call about a body at eight, she's up and ready to go before he can finish beckoning her over.

Jones chats to Beckett in the car on the way to the scene, updates her on the scene they'll be attending. "Restaurant owner was found shot dead this morning, by one of his employees. We've got uniforms-" His eyes fall on her, and he chuckles- "_other_ uniforms canvassing for a weapon." It's nice, he's mentoring her, she can tell, and there's an openness to him, something comforting that was missing from Royce, her training officer. She hasn't thought of Royce in months, still misses him, but the bite is gone, the ache is nothing but a dull hollow in her chest. "So, you're aiming for detective, Beckett?" Jones' question is everything that Rick's wasn't last night. It's safe, and professional, and she hasn't kept her ambition a secret around the precinct.

Kate thinks her colleagues respect her, although she's not sure they all like her. She's pretty sure the uniforms canvassing the scene aren't her biggest fans at the moment. But she can't bring herself to be sorry that Jones is making time for her, that the Captain is grooming her. She wants in. "I am. I'm thinking at the end of this year." She steals a glance at him. Is the end of this year too soon? Is she being arrogant, to think she can be promoted so soon?

But Jones just nods. "Excellent. Excellent."

They arrive, and check out the crime scene. The employee who found the victim is hysterical, but they begin to get some background on motive, perhaps some healthy business competition gone wrong. Meanwhile, the victim's wife arrives, and Kate sits with her as she stares with unseeing eyes at the wall. She hates this part, too. She hates it all, but she wants in.

The M.E. gestures her over, and she excuses herself. "What do you have for us?"

"Two things, Officer. One, you can tell your detectives that this bruising-" she indicates the victim's ribcage- "is postmortem. Meaning whoever shot him was mad, mad enough to kick him when he'd already gone down."

Beckett nodded. "A bit personal. Doesn't exactly scream business feud, does it?"

"No, it does not," the M.E. agreed.

"What was the second thing?"

"Drinks. Tonight. A bunch of us are getting together." Lanie looks Kate up and down. "And _you _need to hang out with a few people your own age for a change. I've been watching you Officer, and Kate? You need to come out with us."

It's the kind of thing Kate would usually decline- especially since she's on a homicide and doesn't picture herself leaving the precinct at any kind of reasonable hour. But she's kind of buzzed- which is ridiculous, she tells herself- and she finds herself smiling, and agreeing to meet Lanie at eight.

In the cruiser back to the precinct Beckett falls into easy conversation with Jones, and they hypothesize about the bruising. He puts a call through to get the wife to come in as a priority, although Beckett tells him honestly that her instincts say the wife isn't involved. Jones nods and doesn't dismiss her opinion the way other detectives might, just tells her they'll work all angles.

As they both fall silent, Kate pulls her phone out of her pocket. No calls, no messages, but she's not too worried. After all, he texted her last night after she messed it all up, so she contemplates that it might not be all over. And if it's over, it's over- she's got a homicide to work on, and drinks tonight- so there's nothing to lose, so before she can stop herself, she texts Castle.

* * *

Rick has checked his phone a dozen times in the last hour. In case he didn't hear the message. Which would have beeped from his desk. In front of him. He sighs. He's got it bad. Kate didn't replied to his text last night, and he's smart enough to have not texted again. This morning he'd gotten up to get Alexis off to school- she'd had lots of questions about Kate being there, the case he'd helped with, and he'd tried to be honest with her as he packed her lunch and walked out the door with her. He'd always shielded her from his girlfriends, but somehow he hadn't minded Kate being there last night, unexpected though it was.

He logs on to his laptop around ten. To write. He knows he'll just end up writing another death scene for Derrick, but he has to write something, and the phone calls from Gina are killing him. He's been avoiding checking his email over the last few days, as well. The thing is, Derrick's a little too _rough justice _these days. He needs a character with more integrity. Someone sexy, fun, but with a dark past, a passion for true justice. _Hmm_, he thinks. The description in his head is calling up images of Kate, and he's suddenly all the more eager to connect with her again. And this time really find her story.

There's an email from Meredith, wanting to know whether he's staying with her in L.A. It kind of figures he shouldn't stay with his ex-wife. That's stupid, right? Sometimes he hates the woman, but they are great together, and he tends to be helpless and _stupid_ when he's in her presence. Is it better, for Alexis to stay with her Mom? Maybe it will confuse Alexis, if she sees her parents together. He wavers for a while, before replying that they'll stay with her, but he doesn't press send, just leaves it in his drafts folder.

Castle's phone beeps, and he jumps. Just as he'd stopped listening for it. He chuckles. Apparently a watched phone never rings. He opens the message, can only laugh when he sees what Kate wrote. Just a short text. _Really, Castle? A police horse? And nude?!_

He thinks he might be a little bit in love.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you, once again, for the reviews and follows and favourites. I have no intention of stopping this story any time soon, and I have some idea where it's going, but it will probably only be a weekly update since R/L is in full swing.**_  
_

* * *

_Castle's phone beeps, and he jumps. Just as he'd stopped listening for it. He chuckles. Apparently a watched phone never rings. He opens the message, can only laugh when he sees what Kate wrote. Just a short text. _Really, Castle? A police horse? And nude?!

_He thinks he might be a little bit in love._

* * *

He thought he'd blown it last night, but when Kate's text came through, it was like a weight lifted from his shoulders. He manages to write a chapter (which doesn't involve a death scene), and brings himself to call Gina to discuss his options with the Derrick Storm series. She's cool to him, but not nasty. She tells him that the only way he can get out of his contract to write more Storm books is to finish the current book properly, and suggests that if he has a new idea Black Pawn might be willing to rewrite his contract to include a different series and the focus would be off Storm.

He doesn't tell Gina about the new idea that's started percolating in his brain, just agrees that this could be an option. After he's hung up he opens a new file on his laptop, and before he knows it, he's written a chapter about a hot young police detective.

Later, when he collects Alexis from school, he's upbeat. "Ice cream, young lady?"

The ten year old laughs and nods. "Can I have three different flavours, Daddy?"

"Three?" He asks in mock surprise. "Why stop at three? Why not four, or five?"

She giggles, takes his hand. He knows he hasn't been much fun lately. That's going to change, he vows. Alexis is perceptive, she knows he's been down. But the last thing he wants is for her to realise how close he's been to the edge. He partied a lot when Meredith left, but he stopped himself then, knew Alexis needed at least one sober parent. He had thrown himself into writing the Storm novels, and he can't regret being more or less out of the partying scene. Now, he knows, it's time for something new, and regardless of Kate, whether he sees her again or not, it's time to stop moping. Find a balance. Find the magic in life.

* * *

Kate calls Castle from the bathroom as she's about to leave the precinct. She's already changed from her uniform but she's ducked in to fix her hair while Lanie waits outside, she can't wait any longer to hear his voice.

"Hey…" He sounds relaxed.

"Hey, yourself."

"Are police records not confidential, these days?"

She laughs. "Sure they are… if you're not the police."

"God, that is so hot." He's laughing too, and she's blown away by how relaxed he sounds, by how easy it is to hear his voice. "So, are you free tonight?"

"Ah, actually, no. I kind of got roped into going out with some people from work. But I just wanted to call you, you know? To, actually, to apologise for last night?" It comes out like a question. She needs to explain, but maybe this isn't the right time.

"Aah. Kate. No need. Really. I'm sorry. I pushed-" He pauses, and she can hear him thinking. "Look, Beckett, I pushed. And I'm not going to lie. You intrigue me. More than anyone I've ever met. Have done, since we met in the restaurant last week." _Shit_, thinks Kate. _Was that seriously only a week ago?_

"No," Kate assures him. "It was me. My issues. My weird things." Lanie chooses that moment to come into the bathroom, her patience apparently exhausted. "Listen, I gotta go-"

"Hey, Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"Call me later, okay?"

* * *

Lanie is smiling at Kate as they walk from the precinct. "So, who's the guy?"

"Guy? There is no guy."

"Lies. All lies, Kate Beckett. I don't know you that well, but I know that dreamy look on your face." Lanie and Kate chat comfortably as they walk into the bar, sit with a large group. A few people look familiar- one of the other officers from her precinct is here, and someone else Kate recognises from the Academy. Lanie points a few other people out. "That hottie-" she's pointing at a cute hispanic guy- "is at the 54th. And that guy is in Vice." It seems like there's nobody Lanie doesn't know. The "hottie" squeezes in next to Lanie and she gives him a look, but keeps whispering to Kate. "And see that guy over there, checking you out?"

Kate shakes her head, but she's lying, she's seen the guy, he's not being discreet.

Lanie snorts. "That's Will, so if you really don't have a guy, I suggest you go introduce yourself-"

"Lanie!" Kate hisses, but Lanie ignores her, keeps talking.

"Oooh, and that girl over there? Officer what's her face? She's sleeping with your boy, Royce. Or, she was, before he left."

At that Kate practically chokes on her drink. "Shut the front door!"

"Girl. Don't tell me you didn't know Royce was-" Lanie's eyes widen, she's perceptive. "No, not you too, Kate?"

"Me too, what? Sleeping with Royce? No. No way." _Fuck._ Does Lanie know everything about every single cop in this city? Besides. She hadn't slept with Royce, not really. Fooled around with, yes. Slept with, no. _Shit. _Kate's buzz is fading fast and she downs the rest of the vodka martini, signals for another. "No. No, Lanie." She reigns her tone in. "No, I was just surprised, is all. I worked with Royce, I thought I knew what was going on with him." She tried a different tack. "Anyway, I'm just surprised, because apparently you know everyone in the NYPD and you're not even a cop!"

Lanie looks at her suspiciously, seems to buy it, nods. "Well, Beckett, if you tear yourself away from the precinct once in a while and socialise, you'll probably get to know a few people too." The guy next to Lanie is talking intently to someone across the table, but his leg is pressed against Lanie's, and she leans in to Kate, and whispers with a smile- "I'm planning on getting to know this one _real_ well."

Kate's quiet for the rest of the night, but she can't say she's having a bad time. Lanie's fun, and introduces Kate to a few people. Kate nods, and smiles, has a few more martinis. Tries not to dwell on Royce. Whatever it was that he was so determined to _not_ have with her? Not her problem anymore. If only he'd just been able to tell her he was seeing someone. But deep down Beckett knows that's not the issue, not exactly. There was something between Royce and herself, and he had shut it down every time it went anywhere beyond the physical. But what does it matter, anyway? Sounds like he's not seeing Officer what's her face anymore, and besides, isn't she started something new, herself, with Castle?

When Beckett checks her phone, there's another message. _Hope you're having a good night. _Royce is banished from her mind as she smiles and replies- _So far, so good, ready to get out of here though._ She wonders if he'll reply, but she doesn't wonder for long. _You already know where I live… just in case that's more convenient?_ One half of Kate's brain is screaming for an escape plan, the other half (the bossier half) knows she's not going home tonight. So when Lanie excuses herself with a wink- "Javier's going to see me safely home-" Kate smiles and waves at the two of them, and grabs her purse, not far behind them, hailing a taxi and giving Castle's address before she can stop herself.

* * *

"Hey."

"Hey yourself." Kate's leaning against his door frame. Tight jeans, sky high heels, black jacket. God, she looks hot. "Going to invite me in?"

Rick leans towards her, takes her arm, guides her in. "Hey." He's smiling, and still holding her arm.

"I think we said that?" But Kate's smiling too, and he takes a chance, leans in, kisses her, lightly.

"I think we did," he agrees.

"Alexis is in bed, I guess?" Kate looks around as if she's seeing it all for the first time, and he indicates the couch, that she should sit.

"She is. She had a much earlier night than last night, thank goodness." Alexis had crashed at eight, Rick had been grateful. One late night was okay, he could play it out with ice cream and a game of laser tag, but two would create a very cranky nine year old.

"It's so weird, to see you like this."

"Like what?" He can guess. Like a father. Like a regular person instead of the tabloid hungry party boy he's portrayed as. He wonders if she's disappointed.

"Like a father. Like a real person." He nods, slowly. Is he right? He knows he likes her, but he's not sure how much. What does she want? What can he give her? If it's the Richard Castle she's read about in the paper, well, he can't give her that. Or, he can, but it will be tonight, now, and then he'll ask her to leave before sunrise, and never see her again. But she's speaking again, and he stills his brain to listen to her. "It's just such a relief," she's saying.

"A relief?"

The lip biting is back, like she thinks she said the wrong thing. "A relief. That you're just a regular person. Castle, I'm- you know I'm a cop. So I came here tonight, because I just went out with all my cop- well, my cop friends, I guess. And you know, the girl that asked me to come out with them? A medical examiner. So, we're all around death all day. So I came here, because it's just a relief to be around someone who doesn't see that. Someone who is just a regular guy." She smiles wryly. "Although you write about murder. And ask me about murder. So- wow. I have no idea what that says about me…" Kate shakes her head.

Castle shrugs. "I don't think it says anything about you. Just that you have good taste in… well, in me." He realises he hasn't offered her a drink, and offers.

"No, not- not a _drink_, drink. A coffee, maybe?"

He raises his eyebrows. "At midnight?"

Kate's mouth falls open. "It's _midnight_? Crap. Well… maybe decaf? Or half strength… or… should I go, Rick? Is it weird, that I came here? After running out last night. It's weird, isn't it?"

"Okay." Rick exhales slowly, narrows his eyes. "No caffeine for you. I will make you some sleepy time tea and you… you can calm down?" He makes her the tea, and he can see her visibly relax as she drinks it, but then she frowns. "What's wrong?" he asks quietly.

"Oh God." She rubs her face. "Nothing. Long night. Long day. Long week, long year?"

"And yet it's only January."

"It's January," Kate agrees. She takes a deep breath, like she's composing herself, looks at him, then back at her tea. "Five Januaries ago, I was in that restaurant. With my Dad. And we were meant to meet my Mom, but she never arrived, and we thought she'd been stuck at work." She traces the pattern on the cup with her finger. "But- she wasn't just at work- she died. I mean, she was _murdered_. Five Januaries ago. So here I am. Five Januaries later, and I'm eating at that same restaurant as if I can get a redo, as if it can happen differently this January. But, Rick?"

"I'm here," he whispers, leaning in and taking her shaking hands in his, putting the tea on the coffee table.

"Every January, it's still the same. Another year has passed, and nothing has changed, and I'm still that kid falling into this rabbit hole so fast and, God help me, I was only nineteen." _I was only nineteen_. The line hits him like a lyric he might have once known, unbidden, but he pushes it aside, not sure what to say.

He leans in until his forehead meets hers. "I don't want to say something as useless as _I'm sorry_, Kate. But, I am. I'm so sorry." He thinks back to the conversation they had yesterday, when he'd teased her about the restaurant. "I'm so sorry Kate."

She shrugs. He can see the unshed tears in her eyes, pulls her in closer, strokes her hair. "Thanks for listening. I just wanted to tell you- to explain a bit, about last night." She starts to make a move to get up, and more than anything, he doesn't want her to leave. Not now.

"Stay," he says. "Stay here tonight. Just to sleep." Something like confusion passes over her face, but she nods, and as they stand and he leads her into his room, all he can hear is the echo of her voice. _I was only nineteen._


	8. Chapter 8

"_Stay," he says. "Stay here tonight. Just to sleep." Something like confusion passes over her face, but she nods, and as they stand and he leads her into his room, all he can hear is the echo of her voice. _I was only nineteen.

* * *

"God, your legs are so long." He could kick himself, it's a stupid thing to say to the woman who was practically in tears a minute ago, but she's just so _hot_, and her legs just never end…

"Part of what makes me tall, Castle." Kate's mumbling, close to sleep, he guesses. He's given her boxers and a t-shirt, let her use the bathroom first, and when he comes out, she's lying on the covers instead of under them.

"Right. Well, let's get tall you under these covers." She moves obediently, but her eyes are closed and her breathing has already changed, so he kisses her lightly- she mumbles, but he can't understand what she's saying- and turns out the light.

Rick stares at the ceiling, unable to find sleep quite as easily. It's true that he's been trying to work out her story since he met her. And, sure, he'd romanticised it- imagined, maybe, that she'd had a rough break up, or something mundane. But this, he hasn't expected. He doesn't know what to do with this. The last time he had a woman in his own bed- well for one thing, it hadn't involved sleep, and for another, it had been fueled by a lot of alcohol- but mostly, it had just been a really long time ago. And now, well, there's not much he can do but curl into her, and stroke her hair, the dark shoulder length curls tangling in his fingers.

* * *

Kate's eyes fly open at seven. She stiffens, takes in the scene. Soft sheets, an unfamiliar pillow. She's in bed, but not her bed. And she's not alone. _Crap! _But then she remembers- it's Castle next to her and she laughs, her hand flying to her mouth to cover the sound, lest she wake him, as she (tries to silently) freak out. _In bed with Richard Castle, and I fell fast asleep well before doing anything was even an option. And it's seven o'clock. When did I even sleep a whole night through in the last two months? _He stirs, rolls over, opens sleepy eyes. "Hi. What's so funny?"

"Hi." She bites her lip, and they stare at each other uncertainly. He moves to bring a hand up to her face, brushes hair out of her eyes. "I- should I go? Your- Alexis?"

He's silent for a moment, but his hand is still resting on her face. "Yeah. Alexis. She'll be up soon. But- you don't have to go. Unless- do you have to go? I guess you're working today, right?"

"Actually- sort of."

"You're sort of working?"

"I have the day off- but I want to go in. I- I usually go in."

"Huh." He's studying her. "You're kind of a workaholic, huh?"

She wrinkles her nose. "Kind of?"

He kisses her and smiles, then pulls away reluctantly. "Kate… I need to get Alexis up. I don't want you to go- I don't want to make you do this- but is there any chance you can get dressed really fast, and we can pretend you came here really early?"

"Sure," she says softly. He pulls on a t-shirt and heads upstairs. Kate breathes deeply, then gets up, heading into the bathroom, grateful that even if she's wearing yesterday's clothes, she's got make up in her purse.

* * *

She makes it into the kitchen as she hears Castle and Alexis come downstairs, Castle explaining to the girl. "Remember my friend Kate?"

"Yes."

"Well, she came by this morning, so she's going to eat breakfast with us, before she goes to work and you go to school."

Alexis nods and looks shyly at Kate. "Why aren't you wearing your uniform?"

"Hey. Morning Alexis. I sometimes get changed at work." It's not a lie.

Alexis nods. "Do you have a gun?"

"Not here, but yeah, I do. And I have a badge, which, actually, I do have here. Want to see it?"

The redhead nods again, reaching out to hold the badge that Kate takes from her pocket, as Castle switches the coffee machine on, and starts pulling food out of the fridge. Eggs, cheese, there's some ham.

"You're _making_ making breakfast? I thought we'd have cereal or something?"

It's Alexis who answers, not Castle, as if parroting something she's heard a whole lot. "Breakfast is important." She turns to her father. "But nothing weird, Daddy!"

Kate offers to help, is waved away, so she sits next to Alexis at the counter and sips her coffee. It's good, really good. She's quiet as she watches Castle goofing around with his kid as he cooks an omelet, threatening to add chocolate and marshmallows as Alexis groans. Evidently they've had this discussion before. She wonders if they have early morning visitors often.

"Kate?" Alexis is asking her a question, and she turns to her.

"Yes?"

"Why are you here so early?" Hmm. So maybe it is out of the ordinary for her father's friends to 'arrive' in the morning for breakfast.

"I- uh- you remember your Dad helped me last week?" At the nod, Kate continues. "Well, I was thinking he might have a moment to help me with my case again today." Over Alexis' head Kate can see Castle's grin of approval as he gives her the thumbs up.

"Oh, I can help you today, Officer." The innuendo in his voice evidently goes over Alexis' head and Kate grins,

"Oh yeah?"

* * *

They walk Alexis to school together. Rick can see that it's freaking her out- she's obviously not used to being around kids. But Alexis likes her, he can tell, and she's pretty good with the nine year old, if a little reserved. After he's kissed Alexis goodbye at the school gate- to grumbles about being too old for school gate kisses- Alexis surprises him and Kate both, by enveloping Kate in a quick hug and calling out goodbye to the two of them as she flies across the playground.

Kate's earlier claim that she has to go to work hasn't come up again, and she doesn't protest when Rick suggests they stop for a coffee.

"So tell me more about how this cop thing works. Do you have, like, a cop partner?"

"This cop thing?"She's laughing at him. "No, I don't have a cop partner. I'm pretty junior, mostly we just do what the detectives tell us to do."

"You and the other officers? So, you have to go through dumpsters and stuff, while the detectives ask the questions?"

He thinks she blushes. "Well, sometimes I get to ask some questions. I- I haven't been sent into a dumpster for a while, let's just say."

"Why- oh! Because you're good. You're good, aren't you?"

Kate nods. "Yeah, it's no big deal. But Jones- that's one of the detectives- seems to like me."

"So the other uniforms- are they cool with that?"

"Yeah, sure. I mean, why wouldn't they be?" He catches her note of frustration, lets it go. But she continues. "It's not a popularity contest. I'm there to do my job, they do theirs. If I progress through the ranks faster, it's not on me to work that out with the other officers." He thinks she's done, he's not sure what to say, when she opens her mouth again as she shrugs. "I guess that I'm not the most popular girl in the precinct." The laugh that accompanies that statement is dark.

"You? How could anyone not like you?" He's indignant, insulted on her behalf.

She looks at him, narrows her eyes. "Gee, I don't know Castle. Maybe because I talk and share too much?"

"Okay, so you're quiet, sure. But you went out with your friends last night. And, I mean- you share. You told me- stuff. Personal stuff-"

Kate interrupts him. "Do you know how many other people I've told that to, Castle? Not many. At the precinct? Two. My captain, because he found me in the archives, and my training officer, because- well. Let's just say I don't tell many people."

Huh. He gets that she's hurting, fragile, lost. She's told him as much, and it's been apparent since he first laid eyes on her, but this? That she is even more private than he thought? "But- me. You told me? Why?"

Her face softens, she sips her coffee, thinking. She smiles, jokes. "Probably because you're tall?"


	9. Chapter 9

_He gets that she's hurting, fragile, lost. She's told him as much, and it's been apparent since he first laid eyes on her, but this? That she is even more private than he thought? "But- me. You told me? Why?"_

_Her face softens, she sips her coffee, thinking. She smiles, jokes. "Probably because you're tall?"_

* * *

Kate doesn't know why she told Castle, or how. She's kind of going out of her mind. Sitting here calmly drinking a coffee instead of going to work, talking to this man- as though he's her friend, her partner, her something, her _someone_. Walking his daughter to school. Kissing him good morning. As though her life is just so normal, and she's struck by how wrong that is, and how right it feels. And it's freaking her out.

And she hasn't even slept with him. _That_ is freaking her out most of all. They shared a bed last night, a kiss or two- but that was it. Not that she has a lot of sleepovers that involve staying the whole night- usually there's sneaking out involved- but she doesn't think she's ever spent the night with a guy and just slept.

Kate realises Rick is staring at her. "What?" she asks guiltily.

"Where did you go? Just then? You didn't hear the last three things I said, did you?"

She shakes her head. "Sorry. Sorry- just-"

"Just freaking out?" he asks. _God. Could he read her mind now?_ She sinks a little lower in her chair, blushes.

"Just freaking out," she confirms.

He shrugs, runs his hand through his hair- _she's struck by the urge to run _her _hand through his hair_- "Me too, Beckett, me too. I haven't exactly dated anyone like you before-"

"Dated? We're dating?" She can't breathe. Why can't she even breathe? "No. Not dating. We're… something. Something- not dating."

"Right." He smiles. Reaches over, strokes her wrist. "Check. Not dating, Beckett. Just… something."

She sighs, exasperated. With him, with herself. She doesn't even know. But his hand on her wrist? In spite of herself, it's calming, and brings her back. His hands are gentle, and he's- well, he's nothing like she thought. Kate takes a deep breath. "Right. Something. Okay. New subject. Quick. Distract me!" She's laughing and she's kidding, but she means it, too. _Distract me quickly, before I realise that I do not do this. Ever. She wants to be caught, to be something more. To be the kind of girl who doesn't go in to work on her day off. To be the kind of girl who is friends with the M.E. and hangs out with her cop friends and the kind of girl who goes spends time with her boyfriend. If only. Distract me._ "Tell me how you started writing?"

So he tells her.

She finds herself calming down. Listening to him talk about his lucky break with finding a publisher, the headache of writer's block, the balance between creating fiction, and fulfilling a legal contract. She asks the right questions- pulls herself back into the conversation.

"What about _A skull at springtime_?" he asks. "What did you think of that one?"

She senses it's a trick question, can't for the life of her work out what the trick is. "I don't think that's your best, but…" she trails off, he's chuckling. "What?"

"Just working out how big a fan you are, Beckett. That sold about ten copies, and basically sucked. The only people who have ever even heard of it are the hard core fans." He nods, knowingly. "So now I know just how hard core you are."

Kate shakes her head in dismay, raises her hands above her head. "You got me. No coming back from that one. So let me be honest. _A skull at springtime_ sucked!"

"Ouch. And, agreed. I wish I'd never written it, and I wish it had never been published. At least that's not the one you were reading the night we met."

"Oh. That. Yeah." She chuckles too. At least he'll never know that she was carrying his book around to make herself feel safer. And she promises herself that he'll never know that she read _A skull at springtime_ twice.

* * *

To Rick's dismay, Kate insists on heading home after they finish their second coffee. He sees her into a cab and realises as the cab drives away that he doesn't even know where she lives. He's smiling as he walks back to his place and when his phones buzzes, it's Kate, thanking him for the coffee.

He settles in front of his laptop at home, with the intention of knocking out another _Storm_ chapter. But that other file, from the other day, is open too, and before he knows it, his hot detective character has a back story and hell, before he knows it, he has a first name for this character, and another chapter written, and then another.

Rick pauses to take a call from his mother- she's calling to glean information about Kate, thinly disguised under the veil of offering to look after Alexis "if he needs some time… to himself, or otherwise", and Rick assures her he has every intention of collecting on the offer if necessary, but manages to avoid incriminating himself directly. His mother is the last person to judge- or, well, she judges, but he's a pro at ignoring much of her judgment, all things considered- but he is certainly not going to tell his mother that he and Kate have progressed to sleepovers, albeit non naked sleepovers that involve, of all things, sleep. For what it's worth, he can tell his mother liked what she saw of Kate, because if she hadn't, the phone call would have been a reminder that he needs to look after his daughter rather than gallivanting around town. At the very least, he interprets it that way, because that had been her reaction to seeing him on page six with Gina a few months ago.

He's back writing before he knows it, ignoring the signals from his stomach that cry _lunch!_ and he peels his fingers away from the keys only when his alarm goes off, reminding him to collect Alexis from school. It's been a long time since he's needed the alarm to tear himself away from writing. When did he last get so pulled in, he wonders? And he doesn't even know if he's being pulled in by the writing, or by _her_.

* * *

For the first time in a long time, Kate has a day off but she doesn't have the urge to go into work. Not that she doesn't want to work on the case, and not that she's not curious about it. But she's oddly happy to wait until tomorrow to find out. In the meantime, she wants to get reunited with her apartment. It's kind of stupid, how much she loves her apartment but how little she's there. She can be in the darkest recesses of her mind, and still she feels calmed by the white walls, bright colours, the spacious and open rooms, so much bigger than the tens of apartments she had looked at before choosing this one.

It's a much nicer apartment than she should be able to afford, but for better or for worse, she's not short on money, thanks to her mother's life insurance. She's grateful, at least, to have her own space, that she doesn't need roommates like most people on her kind of salary in New York City. Doubly grateful that she doesn't live with her father anymore. She's humming as she moves around the space, straightening things up. _A skull at springtime _stares at her from the bookshelf, sandwiched between _A rose for ever after _and _Flowers for her grave_. She rolls her eyes at herself, rueful that she has been caught so easily as such a fan. It's not like Castle's the only author she's into, she is a fan of the genre after all. But she doesn't own every Patterson, doesn't read every Connelly twice. Doesn't lurk on King fan boards. Nope. That stuff? That's just Castle.

Kate checks her phone, but there are no messages. None from Castle, none from anyone else. Not that there are many other people who message her. She had called her father the week before, only to find his phone had been cut off. She sighs. She'll have to go over, check on him, but she's dreading it, tells herself the neighbours will call her if they need her, tells herself he'll be fine. Kate remembers the days when her phone would beep constantly, too much. Messages from Royce, always mixed, always inappropriate. She should be thankful he left, knows he was on a downward spiral, but mostly she just misses him. It was some kind of fucked up relationship, she knows that, but he meant something to her, she thought she did to him too. Huh. But, as Lanie pointed out last night, apparently Mike hadn't been quite as much a lone wolf as he'd let her believe.

Kate steps into her shower, at last shedding her clothes from last night. She imagines, just for a second, that it's Castle undressing her, imagines his hands on her. She wishes he was her, or that she was there. Longs for him, as she stands in the steam and imagines that she's pulling him into the shower with her. Still, she's perplexed at how slowly things are moving, physically. She doesn't know what to do, feels unequipped for this. It's a relationship but not. Never before has she been able to spend the night with someone, talk over coffee for hours, but not… fuck. This is a big deal to Kate. She should have called him when she got his number, gotten him out of her system. Now, it's gotten weird. It feels almost like a relationship but not quite. And, Royce aside, Beckett doesn't do relationships. Doesn't do the distraction. And god knows she's distracted now.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. I'm actually going faster than I thought I might. This chapter was going to be longer, but it feels like this is where it ends, so I'll post it as is.**

* * *

_She should have called him when she got his number, gotten him out of her system. Now, it's gotten weird. It feels almost like a relationship but not quite. And, Royce aside, Beckett doesn't do relationships. Doesn't do the distraction. And god knows she's distracted now._

* * *

When Kate goes in to work again the next day, she's refreshed. Sleep helps, she muses. She had hit the hay early last night, and the more than eight hours was an unforeseen luxury. So this morning she feels good, alive, awake, and the coffee she picks up on her way into work is more a pleasure than a sheer necessity. The early morning text from Castle- he sent it last night, but she only got it this morning- has given her another reason to smile. He wants to see her tonight. And she doesn't know how her day will play out, but instead of avoiding, she tells herself she'll find a way to make it work, even if it means skipping out early.

Jones catches her before she can go far, and before she knows it, she's up to speed on the case, staring at the timeline next to the detective. They had the wife in yesterday, and Jones jokes that he had expected to see Beckett on her day off. Beckett just smiles and tells him she had planned to, but something had come up. She's not embarrassed. She knows Jones comes in on his days off too.

They had brought the wife in yesterday, but weren't much closer to a suspect. The wife had alibied out, but there was something she was keeping from them. So they'll give her a few hours, but they will drag her back in here before the day is out, unless they come up with a better lead in the meantime.

Jones takes a call from Lanie, evidently the latest test results are back, so the two of them head down to the morgue. Usually the detectives don't take the uniforms with them, but Beckett's sensing she might be Jones' unofficial partner now.

As they enter the morgue and are confronted with the body, Beckett reflects that it's strange, being on homicide. More personal than Vice. Her rotation through Vice had sucked, but she imagines that would be the case for any female rookie. It had felt like hundreds of rounds of _look how short my skirt is_ and she had hated every second of play acting the street walker, just to set up a sting that the Vice detectives would take credit for, their eyes all the while leering at her. Burglary wasn't so bad, she liked the team. But nothing like this. No work is more serious, no dark humour more obvious than among the homicide detectives, yet the pull for justice is genuine. It pushes Beckett, makes her strive. She wants to hold on to this feeling, push herself out of her introspection. She needs to remember that she's not just here for her mother, for herself. She's here for this body on the table too.

Lanie and the other M.E.- an impatient man Beckett has never met before- run them through a few points of note on the body. They've basically cleared the wife, based on the ferocity of the bruising- apparently the wife would have to be a lot stronger than she looks to inflict that kind of damage. Which brings them back to square one, or as Jones' puts it, "keeps them at square one".

As Beckett and Jones turn to leave, Lanie grabs her wrist, speaks to Jones. "Detective? My girl will catch up with you after lunch." Perlmutter glares at Lanie, mumbles something about _inappropriate workplace friendships_ and stalks into the office. Kate and Lanie catch each other's eyes and laugh, and Kate has a sudden flurry of flashbacks to high school, the first semester of college. A world where girlfriends are for life and giggles keep you up all night. She shakes her head. _Not high school, Katie_, she reminds herself, but she's smiling. Being friends with Lanie? Totally something she's down with.

"So, Beckett. You look like the cat that swallowed the canary. Are you this into murder, or did you get some on your day off yesterday?"

"Lanie!"

"Girl. You and I are both new in town. If we don't tell each other, we've got no-one to tell. And me, I kiss and tell."

Kate narrows her eyes. "I'm not new in town. I grew up in Manhattan."

Lanie waves her hand casually. "Details. _I_ am new in town. And _you_ need some fun." She pauses, cocks her head. "And maybe a new lipstick."

"Fine. Fine! I- well actually I didn't get any. Okay? And _that _is confusing as fuck to me, because I never don't get any, and- he keeps texting, and I think he _likes _me, likes me."

Lanie's laughing, and she threads her arm through Kate's as they head out of the building to get lunch.

* * *

Talking to Lanie is fun. Kate now knows more about Javier Esposito than she wants to, but she's happy for Lanie. For all Lanie's insistence that it was a one time thing, she kind of thinks the M.E. wouldn't mind at all if happened again. For her part, Lanie's totally intrigued by the idea that Kate met a guy when she was alone in a restaurant. Kate omits most of the details- the ones where the guy was on a date, bought her a drink, signed her book, and oh yeah, was her favourite author. She offers a few excuses, but Lanie's having none of it.

"He has a kid-"

"Not a deal breaker, "Lanie swiftly replies.

"And he's older than me."

"Experienced, knows what he's doing-"

"He's divorced?" Kate offers.

"Better than married."

They are both laughing as they finish up their sandwiches and head back to the precinct.

* * *

Rick wants to be at home, pondering Kate. Wondering what Beckett is up to- now that would be better than what he's doing. Not that he's fooling himself. He _is_ pondering Kate, wondering what she's up to. Whether she's thinking about him, whether she's catching bad guys. Whether she'll really come over tonight. He groans audibly. He's got it bad.

"Mr. Castle. Are we keeping you from something you'd rather be doing?" Gina's foot is tapping impatiently, as is Lyndall's. The two _Black Pawn_ representatives are both tight lipped, unhappy, as they dialogue with his lawyer.

"No, no." He shakes his head frantically, looking sheepishly at his lawyer, who, for someone Castle is paying handsomely, looks none too impressed about being there.

"Anyway," the lawyer continues, as though Gina hadn't interrupted him. "I will leave this contract here, for you and your representatives to look over. Assuming Mr. Castle produces the next _Storm_ book by his deadline, there should be no reason why this next book shouldn't be something other than _Storm_, and we'll work on the assumption that if the new story doesn't sell for some reason, we'll revert back to the original contract."

Gina and Lyndall nod and take the contract. "Yes!" exclaims Castle. Off their looks, he reins himself in. "I mean- thank you both for your time-" he nods to the women- "and you, for yours of course-" he shakes his lawyers hand- and he's out of there. Home free. He's practically skipping as he leaves the building. He barely feels the icy wind and he ignores the sleet as he decides to walk home instead of taking a cab. January might not be Kate's favourite month, but to him, right now, the ice at his face tastes like new beginnings, like redemption.

It's not just Kate, he reminds himself. Derek was bringing him down, tearing at his insides. Kate's just a tangible reminder that he wants to be more. And at the thought of Kate and his new book project, he stops dead in the street, among the New York crowds. He's bumped, and sworn at, by a heavy woman swinging grocery bags, but he doesn't hear the curse, as he realises. _Crap_. This oh-so-brilliant plan that has been germinating in his brain, suddenly taking flight? It certainly involves Kate, if he's going to follow through with it. _Crap_. How the heck is he going to get gun-shy, intensely private, Kate Beckett to agree to be his muse?


	11. Chapter 11

_This oh-so-brilliant plan that has been germinating in his brain, suddenly taking flight? It certainly involves Kate, if he's going to follow through with it. Crap. How the heck is he going to get gun-shy, intensely private, Kate Beckett to agree to be his muse?_

* * *

Back at the twelfth, Beckett's face is pressed up against the window, watching through the one way glass as Jones and MacKenzie interrogate the wife. The break comes swiftly. Jones has needled into the wife's head just the right way, and then MacKenzie has swept in, taken victory. Kate can taste the triumph, and her own envy. She wants to be on that side of the glass, getting the answers.

So, the wife was having an affair. There was the missing link. They have a name and address in minutes, and Jones and MacKenzie are hot footing it out of there, ready to bring the guy in. Kate has paperwork to do, but she lingers in the observation room, watching the wife, for a moment longer, before heading back to her desk.

She checks her phone when she sits down, happy to find a text from Castle. _Still good for dinner?_

_I plan to be. What time and where?_

_Is seven okay? My place, because I have Alexis._

Suddenly Beckett's a lot more motivated to get the paperwork done. The sooner it's done, the easier it will be to get out of this place before six.

* * *

It just got a lot more complicated for the guy they've brought in. Not only is he a business rival of the dead man, he is also having an affair with the dead man's wife. Kate almost feels sorry for the guy as she watches again through the one way glass. He's a mess, and his alibi is full of holes. He's squirming, but no where near to breaking. He hasn't gotten smart enough to ask for a lawyer yet. Kate glances at her watch. It's five thirty, and she told Jones she needed to leave early tonight. For his part, he agreed to text her if there were any major developments, which she appreciates. For her to skip out on something like this is unlike her, but in spite of herself she really wants to have dinner with Castle and his daughter, so she slips out of the room, and hightails it past the captain's office before he can catch her and call her back.

Back at her own place, Kate showers, then chooses her outfit carefully. She almost laughs at herself- she's putting an awful lot of effort into the outfit in attempt to appear casual, like she didn't try at all. So, jeans and heels, and a casual shirt, and just for kicks, earrings. She tucks her chain with her mother's ring back under her shirt, spritzes perfume, grabs her purse. On impulse she tucks clean panties into the purse too. She tells herself she doesn't know (or care!) if she's staying at Rick's tonight, but she'd like to be prepared. After all, she's a cop. Preparedness is a good thing. And then she decides to stop kidding herself and be honest (at least with herself!)- she really hopes that she's staying at Rick's tonight.

* * *

Rick's buzzing around the kitchen, Alexis can't keep up, and he can't quite hold the girl's conversation in his head as she chatters about her day.

"Daddy!" she exclaims at last, and he pauses, wide eyed. "You're not even listening to me." She's pouting and he reminds himself that she's nine and that he needs to stop and listen to her.

"Yes, Alexis. I am listening"- _white lie_- "I just got distracted for a second-" _for the last four hours-_ "but I promise, I am listening again."

"Because you seemed like you weren't listening-" she looks sulky, and he sighs "-and I need you to help me with my homework after dinner-" Rick rubs his face, trying to bring himself back "-and I need your help because it's a _family tree_!" Alexis actually stamps her foot, and Rick takes a step back, surprised. His calm, grown up little child is having a tantrum? When was the last time she even did that? He makes a face as he remembers. The last tantrum was the last time Meredith left town. A family tree. Great. No doubt a reminder to Alexis that her mother's track record is less than stellar. Now his ex-wife is creating havoc from across the country.

"Sweetie?" He squats down to Alexis' height. "I'm sorry I forgot to listen before. I promise you I am listening now. We will make the family tree after dinner, I promise. Now." He pauses, but there's not really anything to think about. He really wants Kate to come around for dinner tonight, but if Alexis isn't going to be okay with that, he will cancel without a second thought. "Remember I told you that Kate is going to have dinner with us tonight?"

The girl nods. He can see in her eyes that she's calming down.

"Are you happy for Kate to come around for dinner? Because if you just want it to be you and me-"

"No."

"No?" Okay, so he's disappointed, but he'll just call Kate-

"No, not just us, Daddy. Kate should come for dinner too."

He smiles. "In that case, kiddo, will you help me out in the kitchen? I need you to help me decide what to cook."

* * *

"Tacos, huh?" Kate's scowling as her taco collapses when she bites into.

Castle avoids her eyes, gestures at his daughter. "Her fault, her choice!"

"I like tacos. I like the crunch," Alexis says defiantly.

"I was just joking," Kate assures her. "I like tacos too." Castle catches her eye, and smiles at her. So far, he's been a perfect gentleman. He took her jacket, offered her a glass of wine. His eyes had made a lazy path up and down her body when he opened the door to invite her in, but she can't lie to herself and deny she was looking right back at him. She'd leaned into him, kissed him on the cheek in return as he'd canted toward her- and Alexis had rushed across the living room and barrelled into her before she could forget that his nine year old was there and do something that would cause them to forget dinner altogether.

To be honest, Alexis has been a little unsteady tonight. Kate has to remind herself that she doesn't really know Alexis (or her father), but she has the feeling that something is off, something isn't as it was when she was here in the morning yesterday. Castle for his part is more or less at ease, but he's keeping a close eye on Alexis. There's a funny vibe that Kate doesn't quite get, she knows she's missing a puzzle piece somewhere, but it's hard to say what it is, whether it's because she's there or not.

"So, how was school today Alexis?" Inwardly, Kate was groaning. She remembers being a kid, being asked about school. Not cool.

"Okay." The red head shrugs, and Kate is hit with the sudden flash of insight that something happened at school that has Alexis all riled up.

She tries a different tack. "Are you reading anything good at the moment?"

And it works! Alexis is off and running, opinions coming at top speed. _Thank you_, Castle mouths at her.

* * *

"Well, just fill out the bits you do know, Alexis, and then I'll help you."

Kate's sitting on the sofa (remembering kissing Rick right here oh so recently) while he stacks the dishwasher. He had insisted she was the guest and didn't need to help, but now she's kind of lost for something to do, while Alexis sulks over her homework on the floor beside Kate's feet. "What are you working on, Alexis?"

The girl scowls. "A family tree. And I can't do hardly any of it." She offers the paper up to Kate to show her.

"Well, you've got a good start. Here's you, and your dad, and your gram-"

"But that's all." Alexis has gone very quiet all of a sudden. Without giving it a second thought, Kate scoops the girl up onto the couch beside her.

"What other bits can you fill out, do you think?"

"Mommy?"

"Uh-huh. So, let's put her name here-" Alexis takes the pencil that Kate holds out and writes _Meredith_ in childish print. "Do you know her parents' names?" Alexis shakes her head. "Rick?" Kate calls out to him, and he's done with the dishes, heads back to the living room.

Castle sits down next to them with a photo album. "You do know Alexis, but maybe you've forgotten. Your Mom's parents are called Judy and Arthur." He opens the album, shows Alexis a picture. A much younger Rick is holding a tiny baby, a red headed woman beside him, and two other people behind him. "Do you remember meeting them when we visited Mommy in California last year?"

Alexis nods. "Uh-huh. They were nice to me. When are we going to see Mommy again?"

"Soon, sweetie. We're going to go visit her soon. She misses you too."

"What about here?" Alexis is pointing at the space next to _Martha_ and Rick lets out a sigh.

"Leave that one blank, sweetie."

Alexis looks up at him in confusion, and Kate sees something in Rick's eyes. She's not sure what, but she suddenly understands that when she freaked out on him the other day, it wasn't new to him. His life isn't perfect either. She already knows that he's not the playboy he wants to the press to think he is, but there's something there, some world of hurt just biding time behind closed doors. So she speaks up. "All families are different, you know, Alexis. My family is really small too, even smalled than yours, just me and my Dad."

"So you're like me?" Alexis is thinking. "You don't have a mom either?"

"Right. I mean, I have a mom, but- she's gone- and you do have a mom, you do, Alexis. She just lives somewhere else." God, she hopes Alexis won't ask any more questions, because she wants to ease the girl's mind, but she can't do this, not here, not again, not now.

Rick reads the situation, intercepts. "And… bed time for Alexis," he announces. "Head upstairs, and I'll be up soon to tuck you in."

"Can I read for a while?"

"Yes, but not too long. Say good night to Kate."

Alexis hugs Kate, snuggles into her side for a moment. "Good night Kate."

"Night sweetie."

Alexis takes the steps two at a time, and Castle smiles at Kate. "Thank you."

"You're welcome?"

"No, I mean it. Thank you, seriously. She's usually a model child, but she gets upset very easily when she remembers that her Mom is far away. You did awesome."

His face is so serious, but it's also so _close_ and it's all Kate can do to keep breathing as she leans in, finally giving in to what she's had to fight the whole evening. And they're kissing, and it's nothing like the warm but chaste morning kisses of the day before, and also nothing like the frantic but unsteady kisses before that. His lips are on hers, mouth open, hot, insistent, slow, purposeful. His hands are at her waist, and under her top, she draws her breath in as he touches skin. It's ridiculous. It's wonderful. It's absurd. It's like coming home.


	12. Chapter 12

_His face is so serious, but it's also so close and it's all Kate can do to keep breathing as she leans in, finally giving in to what she's had to fight the whole evening. And they're kissing, and it's nothing like the warm but chaste morning kisses of the day before, and also nothing like the frantic but unsteady kisses before that. His lips are on hers, mouth open, hot, insistent, slow, purposeful. His hands are at her waist, and under her top, she draws her breath in as he touches skin. __It's ridiculous. It's wonderful. It's absurd._ _It's like coming home._

* * *

Oh God. She's making out with Richard Castle and she never wants to stop. Her hands have found their way under his shirt, and he's leaning into her, laying her down on the sofa, one hand under her shirt, and now one in her hair, his thigh moving until it is pressed against her- and suddenly there's an insistent ringing somewhere, and her instinct is _ignore_- but she knows the ring tone, and recognises the precinct. Kate hesitates a moment and that's all it takes. Rick is pulling back, breathing heavily, and she truly has no idea how he's stopped, as he looks down at her ruefully. "Your phone, I take it?"

She blushes. "Work. Yeah…"

"Well-" He takes a deep breath. "You should call them back. For one thing, I have a kid I need to tuck in, who could come downstairs any minute. For another?" He pauses. "The first time we do this? Phones are going to be off, and we're not going to be fully clothed on a sofa." He shakes his head and gets up. "I'll be back in a second. Just going to tuck Alexis in."

Beckett lets out the breath she didn't know she was holding. _Shit. What is this even? _She feels like she's about sixteen years old. Sighing, she picks up her phone to return Jones' call.

* * *

When Rick gets back, he's smiling sleepily. "She's fast asleep."

Kate smiles back uncertainly. Meeting Alexis the other morning was one thing, but this evening had opened her eyes, as far as parenting is concerned. It looks like hard work. She's struck again by just how different Castle is in his own home, to when they first met. Or even to when they had coffee. Let alone how different he is to the media persona. She's pretty confident that the cocky playboy is nothing more than an act. Maybe a very good act.

"Everything okay with work?"

"Uh-huh." She blinks sheepishly. "Yeah, they got a confession. Jones- the lead detective on the case- he said he'd call me to keep me informed."

"I wasn't wrong the other day when I said you were a workaholic, huh?"

"Just part of the job, Castle."

He sits back on the couch next to her, close enough that their knees are touching, his eyes shining in anticipation. "Tell me about the case. What happened this time? Something gory?"

"Wow. Can you at least pretend to be sympathetic? Just a little bit?"

"Uh-huh. Sure, sure. Bad guy does bad thing, very sad. Tragic. And interesting!"

Kate rolls her eyes. "Very convincing." But as she tells him, he listens attentively, nodding along.

"This is awesome." And off her look he clarifies- "And _terrible_, I know. But I mean, that you can tell me all these stories. This kind of inspiration is what a writer's dreams are made of!"

"These _stories _I tell you? They had better inspire you quietly. And subtly. I'm not kidding. If your plan is to use my work stories as inspiration for your next book- if I see these stories on the pages of the next Richard Castle bestseller, so help me God-" She breaks off on his look. "What? What?! You've already done it, haven't you? Written out these stories?"

He shakes his head, looking, what? Amused? Concerned? She can't place it. Nervous. He looks nervous. "Not the stories you've been telling me… more… you."

"Tell me you are kidding. Tell me you haven't got some crazy idea-"

"Kate. Beckett. Listen to me. Now, you know I'm done with writing Derrick-"

She purses her lips. "Actually, no, I have known you for all of what, two weeks? So no, I didn't know you're done with Derrick. And hey-" Kate narrows her eyes. "I _like _Derrick. He's bad-ass."

Rick waves his hand, brushes her concerns away with the gesture. "So I told you I had a meeting with my publishers today?" Kate nods. He'd mentioned it at dinner, but he hadn't gone into details. "They've agreed to let me finish the _Storm_ series, and start on my new series- and- well, I have this new character in mind… she's smart, beautiful, inspiring, she's bad-ass- basically, she's based on you."

Kate groans as she buries her face in her hands. And here she'd been, thinking the press reports of his impulsive behavior were exaggerated. How did he even come up with this? "No. No way. The world does not want to read a book about me. Go back to your publishers. Promise them more _Storm_. A sequel to _Flowers for her grave. _Or more-" _Fuck_. She should never have gone over to him that day in the restaurant. Never had her book signed. Never called him. She should never have had coffee with him, and she most definitely should never have kissed him. _Shit_. "More- I know- rewrite _A skull at springtime_!"

He's shaking his head, laughing softly. "Sorry Beckett. It's too late. You can be willing or unwilling, but no matter what, you're my muse."

"Your _muse_? Seriously. You did _not_ just call me that." She drains what's left of the wine in her glass, and holds it out to him, waiting expectantly for a refill. "Well, Castle. You'd better open another bottle of wine. Or some vodka. I'm going to need to drink a lot more to get my head around this."

* * *

Well, Rick mused. That went well. Or, not as badly as it could have gone. He's based a handful of his characters on real people before, but none were as intriguing as Kate. Neither of them have said much for the last hour, drinking wine. Their knees are still touching, and he's pleasantly buzzed, which he doesn't think is really due to the alcohol. No. It's touching Kate, even so casually, which is intoxicating. It's a kind of comfortable silence, punctuated with the occasional glare from Kate. But he's not going to take those too seriously. She may not have said much, but she hasn't left either.

"Are you really going to visit Alexis' Mom soon?" When she breaks the silence, Rick's surprised she's changed the subject.

"I've actually got us flights booked, a few weekends from now. I haven't told Alexis, though. If Meredith cancels at the last moment, it's better if Alexis isn't disappointed. I mean, you saw how worked up she was tonight, and that was just a family tree-"

"I meant what I said. Families are complicated. The space next to your mother's name on the family tree? What's that all about?"

Castle shrugs. "Like you said. Families are complicated. "What about yours- your Dad, I mean- is he around?"

"He's- it's- hey! Yeah. He lives in New York." Her voice is bitter. "This thing- if you do this thing- you're not- I mean, what I told you? You get that I don't tell people that, right?"

"Right." He's watching her closely.

"So if you really do this stupid thing, and base a character on me-"

"A series-"

"A _character_ on me- how does this work? Did your character's Mom die? Is her Dad an alcoholic? Is that the- I don't know- the _backstory_ for this character?"

"For Nikki. And no, not exactly. I mean, maybe something happened to her, too, something that drives her, makes her the best- but not- it won't be the same, Kate. You'll know it's you. I'll know it's you. Most people? They're not going to know."

"What about the people I work with? You don't think they'll find out? You don't think the detectives will- detect? And- Nikki?"

"Nikki," he confirms.

Kate falls into silence again, but he's content to sit silently too. His hand has found its way to cover the fists she's making in her lap, and he watches their hands intertwine, feels her relax against him as his thumb makes circles against the top of her hand. He leans back to the side of the sofa, given her room to nestle against him, her head on his chest. They'd been making out before, and _God_ but it had been a long time since he'd kissed a woman like that, and _meant_ it, like that. He takes a deep breath. He knows it's gone past midnight, so surely she's not planning on going home tonight? But he knows he's put a lot on her already, all this talk of Nikki- so he can't bring himself to push his luck any further. So he lies there, eyes closed, breathing in her scent, and thanking his lucky stars that she's trusted him enough to stay this far.

"Castle?"

"Mmm?" He's so sleepy, so relaxed here, with Kate in his arms.

"Castle- you mentioned something before about not wanting to be fully clothed on this couch-" And at that he's awake, looking at her, as she blushes and bites her lip- "so, what do you say? Shall we go be less clothed, someplace else?"


	13. Chapter 13

_"Castle?"_

_"Mmm?" He's so sleepy, so relaxed here, with Kate in his arms._

_"Castle- you mentioned something before about not wanting to be fully clothed on this couch-" And at that he's awake, looking at her, as she blushes and bites her lip- "so, what do you say? Shall we go be less clothed, someplace else?"_

* * *

When Kate first stirs, it's not even dawn yet, the light is just beginning to change. New York certainly never sleeps, and it's never really dark. But the daylight is just beginning to peek into the room, and she's cold, realises she's not wearing a stitch. The covers have fallen off her, she thinks, before she pulls them back, meeting with resistance, and she remembers. Not her covers, not her bed. Castle's bed. And he's the one providing the resistance, tangled under the blankets. She burrows into him, and he rouses, pulls her closer.

When she wakes up next, it's probably not all that much later, but she's shocked awake by the realisation that she needs to get moving, go to work. Unlike the last time she awoke here, she can't spend the time enjoying a leisurely breakfast, or while away the day's hours in a cafe. Beckett needs to be in at the precinct by eight at the latest, and the glowing numbers on the clock are already showing seven. "Hey," she whispers.

He doesn't wake, but stirs and pulls her tighter. Hmm. Okay. Tempting as it might be to stay, Kate extracts herself from his grasp to nothing more than a moan, and tiptoes into the bathroom, turning the shower on and stepping under the hot water. With any luck the sound of the running water will wake him. She takes her time in the bathroom, drying off slowly with his bath towel. She looks at herself critically in the mirror before pulling her clothes on. She's always liked her legs, she'd wear heels every day if she could. She smiles at her reflection. She certainly hadn't heard any complaints last night. There's a mark, tiny, but visible to her, but it's low enough that the collar of her uniform will cover it. She's certainly not sorry she brought clean underwear with her last night.

_She'd stood up first, looked down at him, still on the couch, shock apparent on his face. And, she thought, awe. She extended her hand, took his, pulled him up, pulled him closer. His hands had curled around her back, pulling her right back into him. She'd been wearing heels when she'd arrived earlier, but now he was taller than her, and she had looked up at him, found him looking down at her, smiling, raising a hand, strong fingers pushing her hair out of her face, twirling the curls around his fingers, reverently, before looking back at her, and closing the gap between their mouths-_

Kate's out of the bathroom, and dressed, make up done. She hadn't had time to wash her hair, so it's pulled into a messy ponytail._  
_

"Hey…"

He still doesn't stir.

"Hey…" Kate tries again, rubbing his shoulder as she does so.

Castle mumbles and rolls over, but doesn't open his eyes.

"Castle… I gotta go."

He mumbles again, and she can't tell if he heard her or not. Leaving before the other person is awake feels like a bad habit. She could leave a note, but just leaving? Not this time. She'd felt like like shit both times Royce did that to her, and this- whatever it is- well, she's oddly determined that she won't be the one to fuck it up. Not after last night. She senses she's on the precipice of something, and while the idea of going over the edge is terrifying, the idea of not seeing it through- that doesn't sit right. Not anymore.

"Castle?"

He opens his eyes, looks up at her- "Beckett, where you going?" he slurs.

She smiles and leans in and kisses him. "Gotta go, Castle."

Kate slips out the bedroom door, remembers to stop and collect her phone from the living room, before finding her shoes and shutting the front door quietly behind her. She pauses in Castle's hallway to put the heels on, and pulls her phone out from her pocket again, and sends a quick text before taking the elevator down to street level and hailing a cab. She'll change into her uniform at the precinct.

* * *

When Castle first stirs, it's barely an hour since they went to sleep, and the room is still as dark as New York City gets at night. Even the double glazing doesn't provide a complete barrier to the sounds of the city but at this time of night all is still. He listens to Kate's regular breathing beside him and thanks god that he met her when he did. All kinds of rabbit holes that he could have fallen down, but oh, he's found Kate, and he's not going to let her go, and he moves closer to her and is dreaming again before his hand has even closed possessively around her waist.

_He's determined, purposeful. She tastes like red wine and desire and heat and he can't stop touching her, can't take his hands off her to lead the way from the living room to his bedroom. He sees her phone on the couch- it can stay there, as far as he's concerned. Her fingers are twisted in the belt loops on his pants, stopping him from moving too far away, as if he could anyway-_

When he wakes up next, it's to a goddess looking down on him, and he thinks he's still dreaming, but then she's whispering that she's got to go, and he doesn't know why. He suddenly understands that it's Kate there, it's Beckett, and he wants her to stay, but sleep is calling him still, and he mumbles her name, asks why she's going, and she answers, and sleep pulls him under again.

There's an insistent chirp that he recognises as his phone, but before he can react to that, there's a different kind of noise at the door, and then a thump, and a small red head launches herself onto his bed with a squeal. He looks over and realises Kate has indeed left- he thinks he remembers her leaving- and much as waking up alone wasn't his idea of the best morning ever, he's grateful, because this, for Alexis, is too much, way too much.

"Daddy!"

"Pumpkin!"

"Daddy, we're late!"

"Late? For what, sweetheart?"

"School!" Alexis looks at him like he's insane.

"Okay, Alexis. Give me a second, I won't be long."

Alexis clambers off the bed and heads through his study, and he fishes around in his bedside table for underwear. His hand closes over his phone, and he checks the message. Short and sweet. _Morning Castle… x. _Not such a bad way to wake up, after all.

* * *

Kate's been in her uniform for less than an hour, her badge on her belt and her piece securely holstered. She's making a coffee in the break room, cursing herself for not making time to get a decent coffee before she got here, when the Captain calls her over. She thinks she shouldn't be sorry that a murder investigation is closed, but since they got the confession last night, she's been given a choice. Paperwork, or field work- in vice. She's flattered that she has a choice, she just wishes that working homicide was one of the options. But, in any decision between field work, or paperwork, she's never going to choose enclosure within the four walls of the precinct, so an hour later she finds herself rummaging through what they like to call _wardrobe_, making another choice- short red dress, or shorter black dress? They're both as low cut as each other, and she sighs, ruefully remembering the mark on her throat in a slightly less favourable light.

_And then he was pushing her back, walking her backwards through the living room, into the office and through to his bedroom, laying her down on the bed, and the energy has changed, there's no stopping this time. He's hovering over her and she's reaching up, under his shirt, finding skin, fumbling with the buttons and he's against her and his thigh is between her legs and of their own accord her hips are moving against him, and he is pushing her shirt up, over her head, and his mouth is at her throat-_

"Beckett." Hunter nods at Kate as she enters the bathroom and reaches into the box Kate is looking through, selecting the red dress without a second thought. _Right_, thinks Kate. _Black it is. _

"You too, huh?"

Hunter nods. "Uh-huh. Have they given you background yet?"

"No, not yet."

"Me either."

Hunter is new to the precinct, and Kate likes what she's seen of her so far. This will be their first time working together. Ugh. As she squeezes into the black dress, she shudders. Maybe she should have chosen paperwork. She pulls her eyeliner out of her purse, leaning in over the sinks, and sets to work fixing her make up- or rather, ruining what she expertly applied in Castle's bathroom this morning. Ugh. There is not enough coffee in the world. Gone is the respectable NYPD officer. In her place is, well, a street walker. Damn. It should be illegal to have to wear this much eye make up at nine in the morning.

* * *

**A/N: I had a few requests to change this to an M rating (!) but I couldn't quite do it- I think it comes close, but I think I probably snuck in under the ****_T _****line :) As always (I don't always make the author's notes, but I am always thinking it!) thank you for reading, for the reviews, for the follows and the favourites.  
**


	14. Chapter 14

_Ugh. As Kate squeezes into the black dress, she shudders. Maybe she should have chosen paperwork. She pulls her eyeliner out of her purse, leaning in over the sinks, and sets to work fixing her make up- or rather, ruining what she expertly applied in Castle's bathroom this morning. Ugh. There is not enough coffee in the world. Gone is the respectable NYPD officer. In her place is, well, a street walker. Damn. It should be illegal to have to wear this much eye make up at nine in the morning. _

* * *

Rick is waking up as he walks Alexis to school. He thinks he'll pick up some coffee on the way home and settle in front of his laptop this morning. Then again, he's been meaning to do some research for the latest (last!) Storm story, and there's a scene he's been meaning to check out. So maybe he'll get a coffee and then look into that. The girl seems much calmer than she had last night, chatting about the book she's reading, and the violin lessons she's going to start the following week. Rick ruffles her hair, as she looks up at him. "Dad, is Kate your girlfriend?"

Huh. Starting with the hard questions at eight in the morning. Before he's had coffee. Not good. He stops walking and looks down at her, meeting her eyes. Alexis is gazing up at him, waiting for an answer. "Well. I don't know yet, Alexis. Would you be-" He rephrases. God, for a writer, he sometimes feels like words are his enemy. There are so many, and it's so easy to choose the wrong ones. "How would you feel if Kate was my girlfriend?"

She shrugs. "I don't know. I like her better than Gina."

He winces. "You don't like Gina?"

Alexis shrugs. He can see the hesitation in her eyes. She doesn't want to admit to disliking Gina, but she obviously doesn't want to lie.

"Sweetie, Gina was never my girlfriend. You know that, right? We went out a few times, and we are friends, and we do work together- but- she wasn't my girlfriend." Alexis is still staring at him, waiting for more. "It's okay if you don't like Gina. But it's important that you understand that we do work together, and you might see her sometimes."

"But you write books, Daddy. You work in the office at home. You don't need to work with Gina."

He nods. This morning just got a whole lot more complicated. When he'd woken up he had thought since Kate was already gone before Alexis came into the room things would be simple. He thinks maybe the uncomplicated days of fatherhood are more or less behind him. Alexis has always been smart and well tuned in to what's going on around her, but he doubts he'll be able to keep much from her anymore. Not the way he could a few years ago. He renews his resolve. No matter what happens with Kate, he won't be pulled back into the parties that both kept him afloat and simultaneously threatened to drown him after his break up with Meredith. "I do write books in my office." He wonders how much to explain. "Gina helps organise events so people know about the books and buy them. And actually, Kate's going to help me a little bit with my next book- she's going to teach me police stuff." He winks at his daughter, hoping he's explained it right, in a way she understands.

Alexis nods. "It's okay with me if Kate's your girlfriend, Daddy."

He smiles. "Want to know something? It would be okay with me if Kate was my girlfriend, too." He looks at his watch. "Right, kiddo. Time to get to school- we need to walk faster so you're not late!"

They start walking again, faster this time, and Alexis is quiet until they get to the school gate. "You should ask."

"Ask what, sweetie?"

Alexis rolls her eyes in nine year old exasperation. "Dad. You should ask Kate to be your girlfriend."

* * *

The sting is a bust so far. Kate Beckett and Veronica Hunter have each chatted up more than a few guys at a sketchy bar, but none are their guy and none of them have been viable leads. Vice has intel that a certain dealer has been mixing business- dealing drugs has apparently led into bigger and better things, human trafficking being one them. It's a slim lead, to be honest, but Beckett has broken out her Russian accent, to her own amusement, and Hunter's.

Working with Hunter has been fun, even if it's not really Kate's favourite way to spend a morning. The woman doesn't ask personal questions, but she raised a suspicious eyebrow at the mark on Kate's neck, and Kate had shrugged, grinning wickedly, and not a little seductively, as she'd shimmied her way to the next table of men. It's way better than being at the precinct, and hell, while the dress sucks, Kate's not sorry to be wearing heels. She leans in, purrs at the men, receives no intelligible answers, and stalks off. Meanwhile, she's got an eye on Hunter, and suddenly there's movement. Just a nod, a sideways glance from Hunter, and Beckett's there beside her.

A bald man- Beckett estimates him to be in his fifties or so- has his hand tightly gripped around Hunter's wrist. Hunter is scowling, resisting, but the wannabe john is leering, insistent. She rolls her eyes. She hates this part of this particular job. It's still before midday, the guy is obviously not a player in the scene- at least, not in the way they need him to be- and he's been drinking heavily. Kate hates that too. She might love a glass- or bottle- of wine, might enjoy the occasional big night out, tequila shots and all, but this just reminds her of her father, and all that entails. The loss, the wasted potential, the hopelessness. The irony that she finds murder less depressing isn't lost on her.

Before Beckett can intercede delicately- she and Hunter need to remove the man's hand without making a scene and without alerting anyone in the bar to the fact that they're cops- a male voice speaks up behind her. "Problem here?" _Shit. _

She knows that voice. The john drops Hunter's wrist with a curse, and Hunter turns around to whisper a thank you at her rescuer. Beckett turns more slowly, knowing exactly who she's going to see Hunter draped all over. Castle's jaw drops and his eyes widen as he hastens to push Hunter away. "Beck-?" She grabs his ear, pulling his face down a little, level to hers.

"Do not. Say. A word."

His eyes are still wide as she releases him, his mouth still hanging open, as he whispers. "Fuck."

Beckett chances a look around. Except for the john mumbling into the drink he's nursing, nobody in the bar has noticed anything. Hunter, however, is looking on, amused. "A friend, _Anna_?"

Kate nods, affects the Russian accent again as she agrees unwillingly. "Friend, yes." She smirks. In for a penny, in for a pound. "Good friend, yes, Richard?" Rick nods mutely. He hasn't taken his eyes from her. Damn. She smiles at him, leans in. "You looking, Richard? You saw it all last night, no?"

It's Hunter's turn to roll her eyes.

Rick laughs nervously, relaxes a little, she thinks as he whispers back to her. "Ka-" And off her look- "_Anna_. Anna- what are you doing? Dressed like-"

Beckett wrinkles her nose, loses the accent as she leans back in. "Dressed like a hooker? Rick. Seriously. What do you think I'm doing?"

"No," he assures her. "No, I can guess what you're doing- just-"

"Just, why here?" she finishes. "Agreed. I'm not too sure why you're _here_, either." She bites her lip. "Listen, you've got to go. This is not a good day to be in this bar."

"I'm researching," he tells her, ignoring her request that he leave. He looks her up and down again, smirking. "Nice shirt."

Beckett narrows her eyes as she hisses at him. "Leave. Just, please… leave. I will… call you." _Damn_. This cannot be happening. She needs him to leave, and frankly, she needs the lead detective to march in here and call the whole operation off. She wishes to God that she had chosen paperwork today.

* * *

Castle had heard that this bar was something of a dealer's paradise, and he'd only planned on being in and out. He'd had some luck in the past, making contacts from all walks of life, but today his plan was strictly observation. He'd figured he'd order a coke, hope that anyone who noticed him would assume it was a mixer. He chose a booth, ready to watch the comings and goings for an hour or 'd just settled himself down- noting with distaste the stickiness of the cracked red vinyl he was sitting on- when he'd noticed the stir at the next table.

The woman in the red dress is glaring, and her friend is intervening, but he can see the two of them are quite slightly built, so he just can't stand to let it escalate. It's obvious from their dresses and the time of day what's going on, but Castle figures that's hardly the point, and if the two women need a hand, he'll stand up for them, just check in to make sure they're okay.

When the woman in red had turned around she'd smiled seductively and reached her hand out to touch his chest suggestively. He'd gotten the brief but distinct impression that he'd missed something. When Beckett turned around, he knew exactly what he'd missed. _Shit_.

Kate could tell him to go home until she was blue in the face. He wasn't going anywhere. Not when there was _obviously_ a reason for her to be here, undercover. That only meant one thing. That there was a reason for him to be here too. His eyes shone as he realised what this meant. Research. Honest to goodness drug dealer research with the opportunity to observe his muse in the starring role.


	15. Chapter 15

_Kate could tell him to go home until she was blue in the face. He wasn't going anywhere. Not when there was obviously a reason for her to be here, undercover. That only meant one thing. That there was a reason for him to be here too. His eyes shone as he realised what this meant. Research. Honest to goodness drug dealer research with the opportunity to observe his muse in the starring role._

* * *

An hour later, Castle's still fascinated by watching Beckett from across the room. He hasn't made another move toward her- he's keen to keep his ear attached to his head. Nothing has really been happening though, that he can tell. He's fascinated by her role. On one hand, she looks every bit the part, dress askew and make up overdone. He noted the bruise on her neck too, and remembers being the one to put it there, because, God, it had been a good night. On the other hand, there's a classiness to Kate which shines through. He wonders what she had planned to do with her life. Not cop, obviously. It's pretty apparent that her chosen career path is a reaction to her mother's death. Her class, her accent- he's willing to bet money that Kate Beckett grew up well off, never wanted for anything in her earlier life. Beckett's cosied in a booth with two guys- oh, and the jealousy is an odd and unwelcome visitor. This is _not_ something he's comfortable with, hadn't foreseen that stab across his belly when he'd signed up to watch her in action- but she's just talking to them, he _knows_ that. He assures himself he'd be more jealous if he wasn't so aware it was a ruse.

The other cop- Beckett introduced her as _Amanda_, although he's sure _Amanda_ is as much a made up name as _Anna_- is at the bar, chatting up a bored barman. How the other patrons in the bar can't tell these two women don't belong is beyond him.

But then the door swings open loudly and Beckett and the other cop whirl around to get a handle on it, and Castle can only see one thing. A gun. The black haired guy in the doorway has a gun. It's pointed roughly in Kate's direction, but the guy isn't looking at her, so he can't tell if it's really aimed at her or not. He sees Beckett pulling a small weapon from- well, he doesn't even know where she had that concealed. Beckett's colleague is doing the same.

It's almost over before he knows it- shots are fired, and Beckett and Amanda are announcing themselves as NYPD, and back up is there before he can blink. The moment, though, where the guy meets Beckett's eyes and she commands him to _drop his weapon_, and the guy hesitates before doing so- that moment is the longest in his life. Because, so help him God, if Kate is shot in front of him… He wants to think he'd leap up, push her out of the way. And maybe he would have, if they'd been closer, but she's more than halfway across the room.

As Beckett cuffs the guy, he closes his eyes, willing himself to not pass out.

* * *

Only after the perp is cuffed does Beckett approach Castle. Hunter had given her a nod, a tilt of the head, and she remembered, let herself breathe. Shit. Castle's here, and she has to deal with this. Telling him her work stories from the safety of his living room or over lunch is one thing, but letting him be involved in a shoot out? Not good. Not good at all.

She has to admit to herself, she's a little surprised by his reaction. She wondered if he might be a little excited- he was so into her being a cop- but he's the colour of snow, and looks like he's about to throw up.

"Hey, Castle," she starts gently. "Castle, you okay there?"

His eyes widen. "Me?" He's incredulous. "That guy had a gun pointed at you- I thought- I saw-" He's gripping her wrist, and she's struck by the amusement that this is the exact same position from which he had rescued Hunter an hour ago.

"Hey… hey now. Castle." She frowns at him. "Castle, it's okay. It's my job, and we're all okay."

He shakes his head, but before he can say anything else, Hunter is beside her. "Montgomery wants us back, Beckett. The other uniforms will get some statements around here." Her eyes fall on Castle, and his grip on Kate's wrist. She glances up at Kate, shaking her head in mockery. "What is this, Beckett? Bring a boyfriend to work day? Because if I'd known…" She takes a last knowing look at Kate's neck, and heads towards the door smiling

"Look, Rick, I have to go-"

"Can I come with you?" Rick's looking better, and sounding delighted. "I'll give my statement down at the precinct."

"No!"

* * *

She's rolling her eyes for the billionth time by the time they make it into the precinct. Rick is fascinated by everything. Like a nine year, she would have thought, until she actually met a nine year old- his daughter- and realised just how sensible nine years old could be. Unlike Richard Castle. He wants to talk on the police radio, and he wants to ride with the gumball flashing. He has endless procedural questions, and he wants to know the male to female ratio in the NYPD. He asks Hunter what kind of gun she prefers and asks Kate where she was concealing her weapon. He's delighted by their fake hooker names and he wants to offer a few suggestions, assuring them he's good at thinking of names for characters. Hunter answers most of the questions while Kate pretends that driving takes a lot more concentration than it does, snapping out an occasional negative to Rick's requests. Meanwhile, there's a thumping in her chest, and she silently wishes to fuck that Hunter wasn't there and that Castle was in the front seat next to her. She _needs_ to touch him.

When she and Hunter make it into the restrooms to change back into their uniforms, Hunter can't conceal her laughter anymore. "God, Beckett. You're the most private person in this precinct- possibly on the force in this whole city- and _that's_ your boyfriend? He doesn't stop talking!"

Kate grimaces. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Really?" Hunter exits the bathroom, leaving Kate alone to remove her make up.

Kate watches Hunter go and looks back at herself in the mirror. "I don't know," she sighs at her reflection.

* * *

When Beckett comes back out the restrooms, she's back in her uniform. He is strangely relieved to see she's taken most of her make up off too. She looks softer, more like _her_. More like the woman he had in his bed last night, less like the edgy cop he'd seen today. Not that he doesn't like what he saw today- she's strong, commanding, sexy. He's beginning to realise the side he glimpsed last night really doesn't get seen by many people. She's told him as much, when she told him only two people at the precinct know about her mother. He wonders who got that close to her at work, and how, and again, the unfamiliar sting of jealousy stabs at him.

"What, Castle?" she teases as she catches him staring? "Prefer the other look?" The look on her face tells him he'd better not, but he can't resist teasing her back, just a little.

"Both looks, Beckett, I prefer both. This one on you, the other on Nikki- she's kinda slutty, you know."

She shakes her head, but he thinks he sees a twinkle of humour in her eyes, before they flick back to concern. "Are you really okay." He wonders (_prays_) she'll come home with him tonight because he needs to hold her. It's all he can do to stop himself reaching out for her again, but he keeps his hands in check. Messing with her is one thing, but actually making a scene at her workplace. He hopes she knows he wouldn't do that.

"I am," he assures her. "What happened there, Beckett?"

She shakes her head. "Still trying to work that out. We don't know if the shooter was related to our sting or not, but the odds of it being unrelated seem like a long shot. Then again, he seemed kind of surprised that NYPD was in the bar, so your guess is as good as mine."

"And your sting was? Drugs?"

She shakes her head. "Honestly, Rick? Do you really want to know?" At his uncertain look she continues. "We're investigating a prostitution ring. It's… unpleasant." Before she can go into any more detail, she turns her head, seeing Roy come out of his office.

"Do _not_ let him know we're together!"

"I-" He can't resist. "We're together? The other day you weren't so sure about dating."

"Not now, Castle. Not a word," she hisses, silencing as Roy approaches.

"Beckett," her boss cautions, noticing only that his officer is shooting daggers at Castle. "Officer, do you know who this man is?" He subdues a chuckle at the thought of Roy chastising his officer for being short with a witness.

Before she can defend herself, Rick interjects, reaching out to shake the captain's hand. "Roy."

"Rick." Montgomery claps Rick on the back.

"You two know each other?" Beckett looks like she can't believe it, and he realises this is probably pretty weird for her.

Roy nods. "Officer Beckett, this is Richard Castle." He pauses, then adds, "the author."

Kate lifts her eyes heavenward, but Castle is still smiling. "We know each other," he assures Montgomery. _Officer Beckett_-" he waggles his eyebrows, and Kate blushes scarlet- "and I had the opportunity to meet several weeks ago." He turns back to Kate. "Your Captain and I have played poker a few times."

* * *

**A/N: Another short and sweet one; I can't promise every update will come out this quickly! Thanks, as always for the amazing reviews, follows and favourites. They blow my mind and even if I don't always reply, I assure you, they make me very happy and eager to update.**


	16. Chapter 16

_Roy nods. "Officer Beckett, this is Richard Castle." He pauses, then adds, "the author."_

_Kate lifts her eyes heavenward, but Castle is still smiling. "We know each other," he assures Montgomery. Officer Beckett-" he waggles his eyebrows, and Kate blushes scarlet- "and I had the opportunity to meet several weeks ago." He turns back to Kate. "Your Captain and I have played poker a few times."_

* * *

After the ridiculous news that her boss was acquainted with her- whatever he was- Beckett had taken Castle's statement. He'd shown himself out of the precinct with minimal fuss and she'd been amazed by how quietly and quickly he was going, until he reminded her that he needed to pick Alexis up from school. For what it was worth, he was a great father.

Kate glances at her watch. Her shift will be over in a few short hours.

"Come round for dinner tonight?" he asks.

She hesitates. "Will Alexis be okay with that? Seeing me again so soon?"

He nods. "I can't see why not. She likes you, you know."

* * *

Rick's still shaken by the turn of events at the bar and he swoops on Alexis and hugs her tighter than usual at the school gate.

"Dad!" she complains wriggling out of his grip. "Not here!"

He chuckles, ruffles her hair as they start walking together. "Sweetie, is it okay with you if Kate comes over for dinner again?"

"Will she stay the night again?"

_Damn_. Does nothing get past this kid? "You- uh- you know she stayed the night?"

She nods, eying him sideways, knowingly. "Uh-huh. I saw her leave this morning."

"How do you feel about her staying the night, Alexis?"

She shrugs. "I don't know?"

"It's okay if you don't know. I don't think Kate or I know either, because it's pretty new. So let's just take it one day at a time, huh?"

"What if she doesn't like me? Lauren at school said her Mom's boyfriend doesn't much like her."

"Alexis, I think Kate likes you a lot."

She looks at him slyly. "What are we cooking Kate for dinner?"

"So you're happy for her to come over?" He loves his daughter, has to trust that she's okay with this if she says she is.

"Only if you play laser tag with me first."

"Deal!" He offers his daughter a high five and she laughs, skipping ahead.

"But Dad? If you want to try and beat me at laser tag _and_ cook dinner for _your girlfriend_? You have to get home faster." She takes off at a run and he jogs after her.

* * *

By the time Beckett actually gets out of the precinct it's getting dark, so she calls Castle.

"Castle," he answers, a smile in his voice.

She can't help but smile back. "Hey… anything you need me to bring?"

"Like… what? You?" She grins. _Damn_. She's got it bad if a sentence that simple can get to her.

"I'll be a bit, is that okay? I have to stop by my place."

He assures her there's no rush, so she heads home to change.

When she gets to her place she takes a moment to look around. She loves her apartment, irrationally misses it. She was here yesterday, but just like this, to get changed and go. It's always been such a safe place, she's lived here since she moved out of the NYU dorms. For just a second she thinks about calling Rick, cancelling. Not because she doesn't want to see him- God, she does. But she wants him here. Could she ask him to come over here, instead? Kate thinks she probably could, if Alexis wasn't in the picture. Her eyes fall on the empty wall. She's still looking for something to fill it. She wants something bold, large. But now is not the moment to contemplate art. What she needs to contemplate right now is the way that things seem to be moving fast- very fast- with Castle. He has a daughter, and that's not something she's ever had to deal with before. What if she does mess it all up?

Pushing it out of her mind, she showers. She feels better the instant the water hits her skin, washing off the day. It had started so well, but she hates that Rick saw her in danger like that. And in that dress. Kate doesn't know what's worse. She rolls her eyes at herself as she gets out of the shower and dries off, choosing jeans and a casual shirt. She throws her uniform into the growing basket of dirty laundry in the bathroom, promising herself she'll find some time to do washing over the weekend.

* * *

Dinner itself is a calm affair. Rick's made pasta with bolognese sauce- comfort food, he assures her, a nod to the day they've had, to which Alexis is blissfully oblivious. Alexis, for her part, is quiet, staring up at Kate any time she thinks Kate isn't looking, but none of the moodiness from the previous day is there. In fact, she seems to want to impress Kate, assuring the officer that she helped with both the pasta and the salad.

Rick keeps touching her knee under the table. He's been like that since she arrived, finding ways to touch her. She isn't complaining, but she needs more, wants to abandon dinner for the bedroom. She resorts to letting her fingers linger on his when she passes him the salt, regretfully meeting his eyes with a knowing smile.

It's after dinner, when Rick is upstairs tucking Alexis in- Alexis had wished Kate a goodnight, and told her she would see her in the morning, very matter of factly- that Kate's phone rings.

"Beckett."

"Katie… Hi."

"Dad." She takes a deep breath. "How are you, Dad?"

"Good, Katie, I'm good."

"I'm glad." Kate doesn't know what to say, never knows what to say.

"Actually." Her father clears his throat. "Actually, I've got some news. I'm cleaning up, Katie."

She closes her eyes. He's said this before, so many times. She wants to believe that this time it's for real. Being the daughter of a living corpse is tiring, and she's struck by a bout of longing. Not for her mother, or her father, but for herself. Her father calls her Katie, and she misses that. Misses _being_ Katie. It's like three people died that day, not just one. "I'm glad, Dad," she finds herself whispering.

"What's your weekend looking like, Katie? Maybe we can have breakfast tomorrow, or dinner if you're working early?"

"That would be nice." The last few times she's seen him he's been a mess. "I'm working tomorrow afternoon, so how about in the morning, around ten?"

"Sure, Katie. That place near your apartment?" She agrees, since she's not going to tell him that she'll be waking up in a different neighbourhood, and hangs up.

Kate opens her eyes to find Rick standing at the base of the stairs, watching her.

"Are you okay?"

She nods. "My dad." She bites her lip. "Let's not talk about it." She stands up and walks over to him. He pulls her into his arms and as she returns the hug, all she can think is _at last_. She'd held off giving him anything more than a kiss on the cheek as she'd come in the front door, out of deference to Alexis. The physical relief of being in his arms is palpable and she lets out a breath she hadn't known she was holding as she lets him lead her to the bedroom.

* * *

They're lying in each other's arms, and Rick's tracing circles on her bare shoulders. "Did you figure out what happened this morning in the bar?"

"Apart from the fact Hunter thinks I bring my boyfriend to work with me?"

"Ha! Boyfriend. You said it, Beckett!" He's smirking, and Kate rolls her eyes.

"That aside, no. I mean, we got a bit out of the guy, and it wasn't random, he knew there were cops in the bar, but he's claiming no knowledge of a prostitution ring."

"Does that mean you have to go back in? Undercover, I mean?"

"What, I'm lying here with not a stitch on, and you still want to see me in that excuse for a dress again?"

He sweeps an appreciative glance across her body. "Hey, I'm happy to see you in as much or as little as you want me to see."

She grins but shakes her head. "Well, regardless, no, Hunter and I have been outed at that bar now, so we won't be going back in." She groans in frustration. "Which probably means I'm on paperwork tomorrow, unless a body drops and I get pulled over to homicide."

They fall silent for a while and Kate feels herself begin to drift off to sleep, before Rick speaks again. "Alexis saw you leave this morning."

Kate smiles ruefully. "Guess I wasn't quite the ninja I thought I was. Oops?"

He shrugs. "I think she's okay. But she had some questions this morning, and this afternoon."

"Hmm?"

"She wanted to know if you were my girlfriend."

Kate's eyes snap open. "And what did you say?" It's one thing for Hunter to make jokes. But if his nine year old is asking… well, she has no idea what that means. She only knows that everything she's seen so far has shown that Rick takes his daughter very seriously.

"That I didn't know."

She closes her eyes again. "Good answer." She takes a deep breath and looks at him. "Rick, I wasn't kidding the other day when I told you I was messed up. I might not be the kind of person you want around your daughter. I can't make any promises." She looks at him. "I mean, you saw what happened today. In an instant the whole situation changed. I'm a cop. So I can't even promise that I'm going to come _home_."

"Kate," he assures her. "Kate, I promise you that you are the kind of person I want around my daughter. Do you know how many women I've dated who I've let meet Alexis?"

She shakes her head. "No. But she wouldn't have met me, either, if I hadn't messaged you the other night, telling you I was coming over. I didn't even ask!"

He laughs. "Please. I knew what I was doing. I didn't exactly plan on you meeting Alexis so soon- or my _mother_, sorry about _that_, by the way- but I'm not sorry you met her, and I'm not sorry you're here now."

She raises her eyebrows, glances meaningfully at the clothes strewn about the room as she moves against him. "How about you show me again how not sorry you are that I'm here right now?"


	17. Chapter 17

_She raises her eyebrows, glances meaningfully at the clothes strewn about the room as she moves against him. "How about you show me again how not sorry you are that I'm here right now?"_

* * *

Kate leaves early again the next morning, before Rick can make her breakfast. She allows him to press a coffee into her hands, and she stands and drinks it as the counter as he makes pancakes for Alexis. The nine year old is laughing, giggling wildly as Rick shows her the patterns he's made in the pan, and he sees the twitch of a smile and thinks Kate wants to relent and let him make pancakes for her too. She tells him she probably won't be around for the next few days since her roster is switching to afternoons today for a few days, and stands pensively, staring unseeingly into space.

"You seem quiet?

"Hmm?" She looks up at him. "No, just thinking. About breakfast with my Dad," she clarifies.

"Oh yeah. You mentioned him the other day too?" He keeps his voice casual, but he remembers vividly, her impassioned statement, the words spilling out of her mouth bitterly as she'd asked him whether he'd be including an alcoholic father as part of Nikki's back story.

"Are you having breakfast with your Dad?" Alexis asks. She sounds curious as she pours herself a tall glass of milk.

Kate nods at his daughter. "Uh-huh." She's kind of tight lipped, and he can see the effort it's taking her to answer Alexis.

It goes over Alexis' head though. "Is he cooking for you? My Dad won't ever take me out for breakfast, he likes cooking too much."

"Yeah? Where did you learn to cook, Castle? Your Mom?"

He laughs before he can stop himself, but Alexis goes a step further and laughs so hard and so suddenly that milk comes out of her nose.

"Ah, no. Self taught." He chuckles as he reaches for a cloth to wipe up Alexis' mess.

"Grams is a terrible cook," Alexis clarifies.

Rick agrees. "She's ambitious in the kitchen, no doubt. But her idea of a well rounded breakfast is a bloody mary, so…"

"So she's terrible!" Alexis is still laughing. Kate laughs too.

"Well, my Dad- actually, he can cook, but he doesn't so much, I guess." She shrugs uncomfortably. "Look, I gotta go."

Kate puts her coffee cup down, and Rick walks her to the door, helping her into her jacket before pressing a kiss onto her cheek. She turns her head though, and kisses her mouth finds his, kissing him hard and hot and when they part, Rick rests his forehead against hers, breathing out heavily, holding onto her shoulders like he doesn't want to let her go. "Sorry," she whispers, tilting her head towards Alexis, biting her lip sheepishly.

He smiles at her, missing her already as she walks into the hallway, calling goodbye to Alexis, who is giggling into her pancakes.

He shuts the door behind her, whirls around to meet his daughter's eyes.

"She's so your girlfriend, Dad."

"And you're okay with that, huh, young lady?"

Alexis giggles. "Uh huh. I like her. But Dad?" She pauses, looks up at him with her nine year old seriousness. "Why is she so sad about meeting her Dad for breakfast?" _Damn_. His child misses nothing.

* * *

Breakfast with her father is awkward, two people who had become strangers sitting opposite one another. By the time Kate had made it back to her apartment to change and then rushed out the door, it had started sleeting, and she's cursing herself for wearing a woolen jacket instead of a waterproof one. Jim, for his part, is well and truly sober, and he assures her that he hasn't touched the bottle for more than a week. It embarrasses her that he feels the need to tell her this at all, justify himself, that this is even a topic in their lives. She's seen addiction from behind her uniform, but seeing her own father a victim of something she can't save him from hits far too close to home.

"That's great, Dad," she says, weakly.

"Are you seeing anyone?" He switches tacks suddenly and she is suddenly reminded just how tired she is. Working long hours, seeing Rick this week- it's all taking a toll.

She'd rubbed the bridge of her nose, shook her head. "Kind of," she'd admitted at last.

Her father had beamed. "That's great, Katie."

Honestly, Kate can't remember the last time she introduced someone to her father. Back in high school, she guesses. Senior Prom? She'd gone away for college, so the guys she'd met in her freshman year had been on the other side of the country. By the time she'd transferred to NYU, her Dad was long gone, a shell in his place. So she nods, agrees, and fills her mouth with pancakes to avoid having to reply. The pancakes are okay, but she wishes she was back in the loft, eating pancakes there. With Castle.

At that moment, her phone beeps, and she reaches for it, sees Castle's message. _Miss you. _She can't stop the smile on her face, and when she looks up she sees her father looking at her. "That him?" He nods his head at the phone.

"Yeah," she admits.

"He make you happy?"

"It's _really_ new."

"But you're happy." It's not a question anymore.

"Yeah, Dad. He makes me happy." She bites her lip, takes a breath, before deciding she can offer a little more up. "His name is Rick."

"He a cop?"

At that, Kate laughs. "He wishes. No, he's- He's a writer. Mystery novels." She rolls her eyes, mostly at herself. Her father is watching her expectantly. _Fine._ "Richard Castle, Dad. I'm dating Richard Castle."

"_The_ Richard Castle?" He's looking at her like she's insane. She feels like her father's little girl again, admitting this over coffee and pancakes, and she blushes. "Your Mom- she'd be jealous, you know!"

Kate laughs. Sometimes, just sometimes, they can mention Johanna without the sky falling in. "Sorry Dad, but yeah, she would."

"So how did you meet him? Through work?"

She snorts. "How, Dad? Tell me _how_ I would possibly meet a famous writer _at work_?"

* * *

Alexis suggests a movie marathon, in light of the fact that the weather is dismal. It sounds like a perfect Saturday to Rick. He wonders what kind of movies Kate likes. He doesn't have the most conventional schedule, but he usually tries to keep the weekends free for Alexis. Kate, on the other hand, does shift work, and he wonders what that's going to be like for them. He shakes his head at himself. He's not even wondering _if_, anymore, with Kate. It's _when_ and _what_ and _how_. He's done. He makes popcorn while Alexis gathers blankets and pillows. _Disney_ is the order of the day- they like to do themes, and they start with _The Lion King_, followed by _Beauty and the Beast_. When the second film finishes he excuses himself to use the bathroom.

He walks back through his bedroom, the sight of the still unmade bed bringing a smile to his face, and he quickly pulls the covers up, opens the curtains fully, letting in the light. The sleet has cleared up and a few rays of sunlight have fought their way through the clouds, letting a few weak beams in through the windows. A glint catches his light, and he spots Kate's necklace on his dresser. He picks it up for the first time. A simple silver chain with a ring- her mother's, he assumes. He's seen the chain under her shirt, but this is the first time he's had a good look at it.

His cell phone starts ringing from the kitchen, and he's still holding the necklace as he goes to answer it, smiling as he's sees Kate's name come up on the screen. "Hello, Officer Beckett."

"Hey, Castle."

"Miss me already?"

"Mmm." She's non committal, but he can hear the smile in her voice. "Actually, I was wondering- have you seen my necklace? Could you maybe take a look, see if I left it at your place?" He reads the underlying worry in her voice.

"I have. I have it here. Want me to bring it to you?"

"No, no," she assures him. "I can get it next time I see you. Thanks." There's a pause. "Anyway, lots of paperwork today, so I'd better get back to it."

"Just paperwork? No murders?" He's disappointed for her, combined with relief that she's at the precinct itself.

"No murders." He thinks she sounds disappointed too. "Just a quiet and boring day drinking bad coffee."

* * *

It's around five, and Beckett's sorting through witness statements from yesterday's shooting when she hears her name. One of the other uniforms is calling out to her. "Beckett, you have a visitor, downstairs." Huh. Her Dad has been by, before, just the once- and he was drunk- so surely it can't be him. Not after such a good morning. She takes the elevator down, trying to fix her hair on the descent, because she suddenly knows _exactly_ who she's going to see at the front desk.

Castle's holding two coffees, his blue eyes sparkling as he takes her in when she steps out from the elevator. She can't stop the smile from breaking out on her face, but she manages to stop herself from reaching for him, pressing a kiss to his mouth. He holds one of the coffees out to her. "I couldn't stand for you to be drinking bad coffee all day," he explains.

"No? Well, I'll never say no to a _good_ coffee." She takes a sip. "Vanilla?" She's impressed. How he guessed she would like vanilla is beyond her.

He reaches into his pocket, hands her the necklace wordlessly.

"You didn't have to bring it. I really could have picked it up later, you know?"

He shrugs. "I figured it meant a lot to you. And if you were really okay with getting it later, you would have texted, not called."

Kate tilts her head, a tacit agreement that yes, she prefers to have the necklace now. "But still." She bites her lip, meets his eyes. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. And-" he smirks. "Vanilla. Am I right, or am I right?"

She shakes her head, rolling her eyes, changes the subject. "Where's Alexis?"

"What, you think I'm bringing my daughter to a police station?" He laughs. "No, kidding, I would have brought her, but she's on a _Disney_ bender, so I let my mother know I had an emergency. Mother's watching _Aladdin_ with Alexis as we speak."

"Hmm. Your use of the word emergency-"

"-Is liberal, sure. But I'm a writer. And anyway, letting my girl-"

"-_Your girl_?"

"-My girl-" he continues as though she hasn't interrupted- "drink bad coffee actually is an emergency. Especially after this morning, since I know you didn't get any pancakes."

"Actually, I did. I had pancakes with my Dad."

"With funny faces?"

"No funny faces," Kate confirms.

"I'll make it up to you. Funny face pancakes next time. Anyway- how did this morning go, with your Dad? You seemed pretty worried."

"It was okay, actually. He was sober, so…" Kate trails off. She doesn't really want to get into this now. "What do you have on for the rest of the evening?"

He grimaces. "Mother-" he makes air quotes with his fingers "_promised-_" Rick casts his eyes heavenward- "to help start dinner. So actually, I have to hurry back to supervise, otherwise Alexis and I will be ordering in."

Kate laughs. "Big Saturday night, huh?"

"Well," he tosses back. "Plan A was to woo a hot young woman, but she's pulled the late shift, so the hot date has to wait." He waits a beat. "When are you free, Kate? For a real date, I mean?"

"Rick, if I go on-" it's Kate's turn to make air quotes- "_a real date_-" she narrows her eyes at him- "with you- can you promise me you won't go giving your number out to anyone else?"

He has the good grace to look abashed as her reaches out to brush her fingers. "I promise."

Beckett grins. "Friday, Castle. You can take me out next Friday." She leans in, wants, again, to kiss him, but restrains herself. Too many eager eyes in the precinct, all pretending they're not watching her. "Thanks for the coffee. And my necklace."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks, once again for all reviews, they make my day. I don't want to be greedy, but I want more! I think the next chapter is close. Hope you all keep enjoying!**


	18. Chapter 18

_Beckett grins. "Friday, Castle. You can take me out next Friday." She leans in, wants, again, to kiss him, but restrains herself. Too many eager eyes in the precinct, all pretending they're not watching her. "Thanks for the coffee. And my necklace." _

* * *

The next week goes slowly, and quickly, all at once. Rick finds himself racing through pages and chapters of his new novel, all the while holding Gina off on the next chapter of the last _Derrick Storm. _Conversations with Gina have progressed back to a more normal, less angst ridden status quo, and for that he's grateful. He may not want to date her, but they had been friends, had enough of a connection for him to ask her out in the first place, and he enjoys their conversations when the romantic and physical twist is removed.

His agent has him booked in for a few signing this week, too. It's easier to oblige the publicity side of things when the words are flowing, and he attends each event, uncomplaining. Paula asks him repeatedly if he's okay- she's become so used to him dragging his feet about publicity, and she tells him that his acquiescence is unnerving. He just shrugs, and turns on the charm for the women waiting in line. It won't be long until he gets the _Nikki_ book off the ground, and the change of pace is doing him wonders.

Kate's been teasing him as he's texted her when he's had a break each time, but he doesn't care. He messages her every hour or so when he's behind the table, pen in hand, sweet nothings that mean more than any dedication he writes in any book. The only book signing that meant anything is his phone number in Kate's well thumbed copy of _Flowers for her grave._ As long as Kate is replying to his texts, he'll happily play the role of the roguish writer as his day job.

He's managed a few quick lunch dates with Kate, and she's stayed over twice, but he feels like he's barely seen her, like he can't get enough of her. She's come over late, and left before dawn each time. Kate's promised him she's still good for their Friday night date, and he's booked a table at one of his favourite restaurants. She's assured him that she has Saturday off work too, so he's hopeful they'll all get to spend Saturday together, Alexis too. It will be nice to see her for more than an hour at a time, and he's hopeful he'll be able to make good on his pancake promise.

* * *

Kate misses Rick, but the week's been busy. His texts have made her laugh, and she's been sorely tempted to turn up at one of his book signings- only fair, she figures, since he's turned up at her workplace uninvited. But it's been flat out, barely time to duck out for a decent coffee, and Castle hasn't had time to bring her one either.

She's been pulled back onto homicide, and even if it means never know what happened in the bar that day, she doesn't care. Working with Jones and MacKenzie makes it worthwhile, and she knows the Captain has his eye on her too. She's been allowed into interrogations, and she senses her time as a uniform is coming to a close. Even on some of the nights she's been able to finish up and head over to Rick's at a reasonable time, she's restrained herself, forcing herself to go back to her own place. It's new, she reminds herself, and she needs to do this too. She's a cop. Right now, that has to come first.

On Thursday night, she accepts an invitation from Lanie. Just one drink, she promises herself. As she's leaving the precinct at eight, she sees Hunter packing up to leave too, and invites her on a whim. Kate has to admit to herself that having girlfriends feels good. The nights that she's been at home alone have been a lot calmer, this month, than they had been, and she knows that's mostly because of Rick. She just doesn't have quite the same drive to pull the box out from under her bed, pour through her mother's file. Somewhere, deep inside, she recognises that this is healthier. The rabbit hole is less suffocating, less all encompassing. She hasn't had a nightmare in more than a fortnight.

The bar Lanie takes them to is decked out in reds and blacks, exposed brick juxtaposed with plush couches. It's crowded, and the three women find themselves a corner with a tall table, perch themselves on silver bar stools.

"So, spill," Lanie directs Kate, as soon as they're settled with their vodka martinis. "Have you seen him again since I saw you last?"

Veronica laughs. "Oh, you don't know?"

"Oh," Lanie's leaning in, curiosity lacing her voice. "You do?"

"Guys!" Kate's laughing too. "Sitting right here."

"Shush." Veronica waves Kate down as she addresses Lanie. "You know he _happened_ to be in the bar we were undercover in, last week, when it got shot up?"

"No way!" Lanie's eyes are wide as she stares at Kate.

"He-" Kate starts.

"Shush." This time Lanie cuts her off. "Veronica, tell me more."

Kate groans and sips her martini as Veronica recounts the meeting in the bar.

"He's chivalrous," she nods at Beckett with a raised eyebrow, as she gets to the part where Castle had intervened.

"Very stupid, more like," mutters Beckett, but she's lying, can't fault that she likes that about him, that he seems to have such an ingrained sense of right and wrong.

"One thing I can't work out, though- Beckett, he looks familiar." Veronica's shaking her head. "Should I know who he is?"

Kate squeezes her eyes shut, tries to think on her feet. "He's-" She shakes her head. "No reason for you to know him, no. Actually, Lanie- I've been meaning to ask- what happened with Javier. Have you seen him lately?"

Lanie sighs. "Nice side step, honey. Now you've got me _really _curious about this man of yours. But, in answer to your question, no, I haven't seen Javier lately." She looks disappointed, but not quite heartbroken, Kate thinks.

"Javier _Esposito_, from the fifty-fourth?" asks Veronica.

"Mm-hmm." Lanie confirms.

"There's weird shit going down at the fifty-fourth," Veronica clarifies. "I wouldn't worry about it though."

Lanie agrees. "He'll call. Sooner or later."

Kate sits back. She's off the hook for the moment, she thinks, knowing that if it comes out, if Rick actually bases a character on her, they'll all know. Everyone. In the whole precinct. Possibly the whole of the NYPD, because Veronica's as bad as Lanie, and between them they seem to know everyone in the entire force.

A few drinks later, and she's not so sure how it's happened. Lanie's kept their drinks topped up, and somehow it's all- or mostly- come spilling out.

"Richard _freaking _Castle?"

"That was my reaction exactly!" she assures Lanie, laughing along with Veronica. She looks at her watch. "Guys, I've got to call it a night."

"Yeah, get home to your honey." Veronica grins knowingly.

Kate shakes her head. "Home. I am going home. Alone. To my bath." She winks. "And maybe a good book."

* * *

Rick doesn't need an alarm on Friday. Neither does he need Alexis to come bouncing into his room like she so often does- he's awake at the crack of dawn. He reminds himself that it's a ridiculous. A date with Kate isn't going to change anything, he tells himself. He's missed her this week, but when he's seen her, she's been centred, and smiling, and January might not be quite over, but it's the second last day of the month, and he's thinks her demons have been banished, for the time being. He hopes so.

He thinks she's quite different to the woman he'd imagined, the night he'd met her. She's driven, and passionate, and fragile and strong. She's private, guarded, she's never spoken to him about her father again. Then, sometimes, she's so open and she'll share a story about her Mom as though doesn't hurt her to speak the words. Making love is just that, and he can't even remember if it's ever been like that with anyone else. And he can't begin to pretend that he's not in love with her.

Rick walks Alexis to school, practically skipping beside his daughter. He leaves her at the gate with a promise to collect her in the afternoon and spend some time with her before Katrina comes over. It figures that the night he really wants to take his mother up on her offer to look after Alexis whenever he needs, he can't collect because Martha's out of town. From the school he takes a cab. He could buy flowers anywhere but he knows a place, knows a guy. He's actually got Kate's address now, and he likes the poetry of showing up with a selection of flowers he picked out himself.

* * *

Beckett's Friday is going well. She'd made it home by eleven, in bed by twelve. This morning she'd managed a run- cutting corners by running into work and showering when she arrived instead of running in the park. Maybe she'll get out of work by four, and have the chance to relax before her date tonight. She hasn't admitted as much to Castle, but she's actually really looking forward to it. Going round to his place has been great, but it's been a long time since someone's gone to the effort to take her out- or since she's let them. A real date is long overdue, and the fact that she actually already knows she likes the guy is just a bonus.

She's been out in the field with MacKenzie this morning, leaving the precinct almost as soon as she arrived- and is she ever craving a coffee- a body has dropped and they're some of the first on the scene. Evidently Lanie and Veronica didn't have the foresight to leave the bar until long after Kate was gone, and Lanie's paying the price this morning. The unfortunate victim has been in the Hudson for the last couple of days, and identifying the guy will be a bitch, Lanie tells her, none of her usual professional demeanor apparent.

That the M.E. looks a little green, swaying over the dead body, is an irony Kate won't forget, since Lanie's usually got an iron stomach no matter the shape of the corpse. MacKenzie, for his part, flirts with the medical examiner, but if Lanie notices, she says nothing. It's yet another thing Kate will file away if (when) she needs leverage.

Beckett and MacKenzie make it back to the precinct, and Kate offers to do a coffee run for the detective- a thinly veiled guise of getting herself some good quality caffeine and avoiding the break room machine. MacKenzie grunts at her in tacit agreement, and Jones calls out an order as she exits. By the time she gets back, they have set up the murder board, and Kate leans against the desk, looking at the board with the two men. The three toss around theories for a bit, but they can't do much until they get a little more from Lanie, or Perlmutter. If Kate's prediction is correct, Lanie will beg off the case and nurse her hangover elsewhere.

When Beckett's cell rings, she looks first at the caller ID. Unknown number. Huh. "Beckett."

Castle's voice on the other end has none of its usual warmth. "Kate- it's me. Rick." He sounds out of breath.

"Rick. What's up?" Kate keeps her voice casual, but worry is creeping into the pit of her stomach.

"Kate, I'm so sorry- I need to cancel our date-"

"What?" She's shaking her head at the phone in confusion.

"Sorry." His breath is coming fast, in short bursts. "I- I said that wrong. I- I'm at the hospital. Car accident."

Kate grabs at the desk as her vision goes momentarily black. _Shit_. She doesn't know if she verbalises the curse or not, but she's aware of Jones turning to her, grabbing her arm, keeping her upright as her legs threaten to collapse beneath her.

* * *

**Thank you all for the reviews, follows and favourites! Especially to ****_BlueOrchid96_**** for the quick catch up and review of every chapter! x**


	19. Chapter 19

"_Kate, I'm so sorry- I need to cancel our date-"_

"_What?" She's shaking her head at the phone._

"_Sorry." His breath is coming fast, in short bursts. "I- I said that wrong. I- I'm at the hospital. Car accident."_

_Kate grabs at the desk as her vision goes momentarily black. _Shit_. She doesn't know if she verbalises the curse or not, but she's aware of Jones turning to her, grabbing her arm, keeping her upright as her legs threaten to collapse beneath her._

* * *

Rick's head is spinning. One second he'd been in a taxi, about to choose flowers for Kate, the next he'd woken up in the back of an ambulance, sirens wailing as they raced through the streets of New York.

"Tell me your name?" The paramedic was shining a light in his eyes.

"Richard. Richard Castle." He squeezes his eyes shut, tries to move away from the light. The motion of the ambulance is making him nauseous and he tries to sit up.

"Sir, I need you to stay still, let me check you out. Do you know what happened?"

He fades again, and the second time he wakes up he's in a hospital bed.

"Kate!"

The nurse adjusting his IV turns to him. "Kate?" she asks.

"Kate. I need to call her!" He starts to get up, finds himself grimacing in pain as he puts his weight on his arm to push himself up.

"Sir, lie back down, I need to get your doctor." She hits the call button beside his bed, and the doctor is there in an instant.

"Mr Castle. I see you're back with us. I'm Doctor Kennedy. Do you remember what happened?"

Castle nods, and winces at the pain the movement causes him. "Flowers. For Kate. And a taxi. And a car." He looks down at the bandage on his arm. "Ow."

"Ow, indeed," the doctor agrees. "We've got an IV in you to keep your fluids up, and we've bandaged up your wrist, you've got a few stitches in there. There's no major head trauma apparent, although no doubt you have a splitting headache. You're okay, but it's better to be safe than sorry. So I really want to keep you in overnight."

The situation is starting to get a little clearer in Rick's head. "I need to pick my daughter up from school," he informs Doctor Kennedy. "And I have a date tonight. So I need to go."

Doctor Kennedy shakes her head, but hands Rick her phone. "Call your girlfriend."

* * *

None of the words make sense to Kate.

"Castle. Rick. Slow down. Where are you? I'm going to meet you there."

There's fumbling on the other end, and a grunt, and a woman comes on the line, introduces herself as Castle's doctor.

"Ma'am? Your boyfriend has been in a car accident. There's no need to panic, but if you could come in, we can update you on the situation."

"Of course, of course." Beckett's nodding. The calm voice on the other end does nothing to ease her fear. All too often she's seen cops school themselves to be the calming voice when the situation is anything but. The doctor gives her directions to the hospital and hangs up before Beckett can speak to Rick again.

Kate turns to Jones and MacKenzie. "I have to see the Captain. I have to go."

"Everything alright, Beckett?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. My- boyfriend-" even now it sounds wrong, coming out of her mouth- "was in a car accident. They've admitted him, so…"

At Jones' beckon, the Captain comes out of his office. "Problem, Beckett?"

She knows she's Montgomery's favourite, sighs, suddenly exasperated with herself, her sudden panic. Rick called her. If he'd been too badly hurt, he couldn't have made the call at all, she knows. _Still_, whispers a nagging voice, _a doctor had to take the phone from him_. "Rick's been in an accident-"

"Rick?"

"Rick Castle, sir."

"Rick Castle- he called you?" The Captain sounds confused and looks over to Jones and MacKenzie for clarification. Kate thinks perhaps things weren't as obvious as they'd seemed to her, when Montgomery introduced her to Castle.

Jones shrugs. He's removed his hand from Beckett's arm, she looks like she can stand unsupported again. "She just got a call, telling her that her boyfriend was in hospital."

Kate sees Montgomery's eyes widen, almost imperceptibly, as he puts two and two together. "Right. Rick Castle. Beckett, go. And if you need to call off tomorrow, just let me know."

"Thank you, Sir. And tomorrow's my day off anyway-" She shrugs. "Thanks, guys."

* * *

When Kate makes it to the hospital her heart is in her mouth. She's directed to Castle's room, and she peeks around the door, not sure what she'll find. Her mind is set at ease when she sees Castle awake and talking, his doctor leaning over him. He's in a room by himself, the single bed maneuvered so that he's half sitting up.

"Beckett! Kate!" He sees her and a wide smile breaks out on his face, as he looks at his doctor. "I told you she was pretty, didn't I?"

Kate blushes. "Castle… hey."

"Kate!" He waves his right arm around. Bandaged, she sees. "Kate, I didn't get a cast."

"I see." She bites her lip and comes into the room. "What's going on?" Her panic is gone now she can see that he's okay, although his pupils are dilated and he looks just a little too excited. She wonders what they've got him on.

The doctor introduces herself, shakes Kate's hand.

"Officer Beckett," Kate nods back at the woman before moving to stand next to Castle, afraid to touch him, but longing to do so.

"Okay, Officer. Your boyfriend was in a car accident when the cab he was travelling in collided with another vehicle. Mr Castle was the most seriously injured- now, he's fine, just a large gash on his wrist-" At that, Rick waves his arm around again, before dropping it with a soft moan. "He's got a concussion, so we're keeping him in overnight for observation-"

"I wanted to buy you flowers-" Rick interrupts the doctor, who smiles at him mollifying.

"So," Doctor Kennedy continues, "As I have repeatedly told Mr. Castle, he will not be taking you out for dinner tonight." Castle looks so crestfallen that Kate can only laugh. "He's on some pain medication- so he might be a little out of it- but he's all yours, you can visit with him as long as you like." She nods to the buzzer on the wall, and turns back to Castle. "Let us know if you need anything, Mr. Castle."

She leaves, and Kate allows herself to relax, forces herself to exhale. In the bed, Rick looks like his head is swimming as he smiles goofily up at her, and she has to repress a laugh, because, yes, apparently Richard Castle is kind of funny when he's high on pain killers. "Ow," he announces, obviously looking for a reaction like a little kid, and she rewards him with an eye roll. But she also sits on the edge of the bed and bites her lip as she takes his left hand.

"Wow, Castle. You kind of scared me there."

"Sorry." He doesn't sound sorry, ignoring her as he stage whispers, "Kate, they need to let me go. I need to get Alexis from school and then take you out." He nods and moves as though to get up, as if she'll co-conspire with him.

Kate easily pushes him back down. "Castle. Let's… _rearrange_ our plans a little. Can you call your Mom to collect Alexis from school? And they can come here and visit, and hey, we can all have dinner here- and we'll have our date another time-" And off his frantic head shaking, she concedes- "tomorrow? No?"

"No. No. My mother is out of town, I had a babysitter for Alexis tonight. Who's going to pick up Alexis?"

Kate looks at her watch, thinks fast. "What time does Alexis get out of school?"

"Three."

"Okay. Castle-" Kate pushes him down again, sighing at his panic. "Castle. Stay. Right. There. It's only just past one now. _I _will pick Alexis up. Okay? I will go now, there's plenty of time- and I will collect her, and I will bring her here to visit you, okay?"

"But I still have to go home, Kate. Beckett?" He tries out her last name as though that will win him points. "Who's going to look after Alexis overnight? She can't stay by herself!" He's triumphant, as though he's solved the problem.

"For God's sake Castle. Lie down. I will collect Alexis, and then she can stay with me tonight, okay?"

His eyes soften. "With you? You'd do that?"

She shrugs, uncomfortable. Wow. She'd do that. Will do that. She didn't know until now, that she would do that, roll with it all that easily, just to look after this man and his daughter.

"What about Katrina? Her babysitter?"

"Well, let's call her and let her know that she has the night off. Where's your phone?

Rick shakes his head. "Smashed."

"Well, how did you call me then?"

"I know _your_ number, Beckett," he says, as though having her number memorised, concussion and all, is completely normal. And then, sadly. "I _liked_ my phone."

Kate nods at him to placate him, pats his shoulder as she turns to go. "We'll get you a new one."

* * *

When Kate leaves to pick up Alexis, Rick has to pinch himself to check whether he's dreaming. He's still vaguely disappointed that they are cancelling their date, but if the alternate plan involves _Kate_ helping him out, dropping everything to look after his daughter- well, he considers himself lucky.

He feels himself fading but he wants to stay awake. They'll be back soon, right? Kate was going to meet Alexis at the gate, and then come straight back. Wasn't she? He finds he can't quite remember what she said, but he's sure she's going to pick Alexis up, so he's not worried, not exactly. It's just- he doesn't remember what she said, and that bothers him, and he's starting to think there might be something to this concussion business on which they all keep insisting.

A blonde nurse knocks on the open door and comes into his room to check. He thinks she's his age, maybe a little older. "Mr. Castle," she greets him. "How are you feeling?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know."

She raises her eyebrows at him. "No? Headache? Is your wrist hurting?"

Ah. She means his injuries. Right. He nods. "Yes. Headache. And my wrist- my wrist is itchy. Pins and needles?"

The nurse nods. "You had a local anaesthetic, when the doctor put the stitches in. If you've got pins and needles, that's the anaesthetic wearing off. I'll get you some more painkillers, just some Tylenol, and you should try and sleep, before your visitors come back."

Castle takes the pills she offers him without complaint. His head is starting to clear, and he sees the sense in taking something innocuous rather than the heavier stuff. He takes the moment to figure out the bandage on the wrist. He can move all his fingers, so he thinks he'll probably be able to type okay when he gets home. Ugh. His eyes are getting heavier, and he wants to fight it, but he can't think of a reason to keep his eyes open, so he goes with it, and lets himself fall asleep.

* * *

Castle wake up to a quiet knock at the door, a whispered "go ahead" and a flurry of movement as his daughter flings herself at him. Kate's hanging back a little, smiling quietly as she watches the scene.

"Hey Pumpkin. What's the time?" he manages. His voice is scratchy, like he hasn't spoken for days.

Kate looks down at her watch, a thin timepiece that looks altogether too delicate, and just right all at the same time. "Five-thirty. We were gone awhile, sorry." She tilts her head as though she wonders whether she did something wrong.

He wants to wave it away, but Alexis is clinging to his good arm, and the bad one feels like it weighs a tonne, so he just nods. "That's okay." Kate's still standing in the doorway and he frowns. "Will you come here, Kate?" She perches on the seat beside his bed, and he notices the bag she's holding. "What do you have?"

She grins, a wide smile that warms him. "I thought you'd never ask." On the bed beside him, Alexis giggles. Okay. So they're both in on it. Interesting. She unzips the bag and reaches in, looking at him and winking. "So, when they had you on all those drugs before, you were saying something about flowers?" She pulls out a bunch of flowers- tulips that are slightly squashed- and presents them to him.

Rick snorts. "You put flowers in a backpack? Seriously?"

"I would have out them up my sleeve, but that wouldn't work with this jacket." She looks around the room. There's a bathroom opposite the bed, so a sink, but no vase. "We'll have to ask a nurse for something to put them in."

"Where else have you guys been? And more importantly, what else did you bring me."

"Lots of stuff!" Alexis is smiling. She's still snuggled up to him, but she's not as anxious as he'd thought she might be, so whatever Kate said to her has obviously done the trick.

"You want to show him the next thing?" Kate asks Alexis.

Alexis reaches into the bag and pulls out a phone. An old phone. "A phone!"

"An old cell," clarifies Kate. "I went past my place to change, and I found it. We can take the SIM out of your smashed phone, and see if it works in this phone, okay?"

Castle grins, and takes the phone, teasing, "Beckett. That's sweet. Not only did you get me a phone, but-" he holds up the handset, a clunky green Nokia, popular in its day, antenna and all- "you also got me the gift of time travel! I'd photograph this moment but- oh, wait- I can't!"

"Nice." She smirks at him. "So glad I went out of my way to find that for you, just for you to mock me."

"Not you. Mocking the phone, not you, Beckett." Actually, he's just plain impressed. She's thought of everything. Alexis extracts herself from under his arm, and goes into the bathroom.

"Anyway." Her eyes are dancing. "After I met Alexis at school, we went back to your place, and got you some clothes- for _tomorrow_- you are still not getting out of here tonight, and Alexis has some stuff in here too, if it's still okay with you for her to stay with me tonight?"

"Of course it is. Although, it strikes me as unfair that my daughter is getting a sleepover before I am." He raises an eyebrow at her. "Hey- you don't have roommates or anything, right?" He trusts Kate, but it's a whole different level to let Alexis stay the night with someone else. He's not really as comfortable with the idea as he wants to be. But, he lets Alexis stay at her friends' places, and their parents aren't cops. Plus, Alexis really likes Kate. He decides to go with that, let himself trust his daughter's instincts.

Kate shakes her head.

"I didn't think so- I just- Kate- hey. I just thought of something. How did you get into my apartment? I didn't give you a key did I?"

She throws her head back and laughs. "Your daughter was with me- who your doorman obviously knows- and I have a cop badge- so trust me, getting into your place wasn't a problem."

"Wow. I never knew breaking and entering was so sexy. Cop badge." He thinks of something else. "Beckett, you said you got me clothes. Did you go through my _underwear drawer_?"

At that, Kate tilts her head, sighs in exasperation. "_Really_, Castle?"


	20. Chapter 20

"_Wow. I never knew breaking and entering was so sexy. Cop badge." He thinks of something else. "Beckett, you said you got me clothes. Did you go through my_ underwear drawer_?"_

_At that, Kate tilts her head, sighs in exasperation. "_Really_, Castle?"_

* * *

Alexis had been worried, when she'd seen Kate at the gate instead of her father, but Kate had calmed the girl quickly, folded her into a hug, all the while schooling her voice the way she's been trained. It's more than that, though. More than the training. She's been on the other side, had the bad news presented to her. There's no good way, but- it makes her different. The drive she has is what will make her detective, the empathy she has- that's what's going to make her a _good_ detective. And so she hugs Alexis, ignoring her inner voice that tells her not to get close to this nine year old, her father, any of it, and tells her plainly and simply that Castle had a minor car accident, that he's fine, and that they'll go see him after they get some things from the loft.

Alexis had been positively thrilled when Kate suggested a sleepover- "Can we watch movies?"

Kate had nodded. "But let's get stuff for your Dad, first, and maybe we can have dinner with him in the hospital, too." Alexis had bounded up to her room to choose some clothes, and when she came back Kate packed Rick's stuff into the top of the backpack, Kate had seen a stuffed toy, too. A bear? Maybe a monkey? She wasn't sure if that was something she was supposed to comment on, with a nine year old, so she left it.

Figuring out how to get in touch with Katrina was easier than Kate had anticipated. It turned out that Alexis' babysitter lived in the building next door, so they'd simply buzzed her door and let her know she had the night off, before getting into a cab to head back to the hospital. Kate had picked up the tulips in the hospital gift shop- they were overpriced, and a little wilted even before she stuffed them into the backpack, but she figured they'd do.

Kate was surprising herself by how okay she felt here. The whole day has turned out very differently to what she'd expected- she'd picked out a dress to wear tonight and suddenly she was in jeans and a leather jacket, collecting Alexis from school, and going back to Castle's apartment without him. Being in the apartment without him was oddly unpleasant. Earlier, it had been on the tip of her tongue to suggest that she could stay with Alexis at the loft, but the thought of staying in Rick's bed without him was uncomfortable, and staying in his guest room would have been worse. Sitting with the two of them in the hospital room is okay. Better than okay.

* * *

Castle is tired, but he doesn't want to suggest Kate and Alexis go. Not yet. Alexis has explored the room fully- it's a small private room with a bed, two chairs, a side table and a bathroom, so there's not much to explore. His daughter also walks up and down the hallway, peeking into other rooms, and returning with a jar that she fills with water for the flowers. The staff know that he's here, who he is- Kate told them- and so security is tight enough that he's not too concerned about letting Alexis out of his line of sight.

Kate's been pretty quiet, and he asks her about her morning in between Alexis popping in and out of the room. She tells him about the body in the Hudson, and as serious as that is, he's laughing as she tells him about her friend feeling the effects of a big night. "You went out with her last night?"

"I did. And Hunter. The officer you met," she clarifies.

"Ah," he nods. "_Amanda._"

"Amanda. Right." She grins. "Or Veronica, even."

"But you left last night, before you could have a big night?"

"What can I say, Castle? I was saving myself for a big night tonight. Until you went and cancelled on me." She's smiling, but she turns serious. "I really am glad you're okay."

Dinner is brought around on a plastic tray, and Alexis reappears in the doorway. "Daddy? I'm hungry too."

Castle grimaces at the food on the tray. "Well, this isn't fit for anyone. So. Pizza all round?"

Alexis cheers, and Kate nods. "Sounds good. Should I go pick something up?"

Castle shakes his head. "No, they'll deliver."

"To a hospital?"

He shrugs. "I guess so." He figures this as good a time as any to test his new (old) phone, and he pulls the crushed phone from the bed side table, extracts the SIM and places it in the green Nokia. He turns it on, and sure enough, he's got reception, and his contacts are all there. He dials for pizza by heart though, and Kate grins.

"Another number you know off by heart, Castle?"

"What can I say, Beckett? I know the important ones." Her cheeks flush with colour, and she averts her eyes. He loves that he can do that do her.

* * *

After pizza, Kate notices Castle is struggling more and more to get his eyes to stay open. "We're going to go," she tells him.

"To watch a movie at your place, right?" Alexis has gotten quiet, kind of shy, as though she's not too sure about going to Kate's anymore.

"Right. Although, I don't know what movies I have that you'll like." She turns to Castle. "What kind of things is she allowed to watch? I don't have many movies. More TV shows."

"If she's not allowed to watch it, she'll tell you, won't you sweetheart?"

"Sci-fi, maybe? Nebula 9?"

He scrunches his face up, trying to place the show. "I don't know it. Is that the one that got cancelled?"

"Uh-huh. It was awesome. It should never have been cancelled." It's a sore point with Kate- well, all the Nebula 9 fans, she supposes. Twelve episodes of awesome, and then nothing.

He raises his eyebrows. "I'll take your word for it. Anyway, it should be fine, but Alexis will tell you if it's too scary. Or C-R-A-P," he spells out.

"Dad! I can spell that!"

"I know sweetheart. Come here and give me a hug goodbye." The red head does so, her eyes wide and worried. "Don't worry, honey. I'll be out of here in the morning."

"I just wish you could come home now, Dad."

"Uh-huh. Me too." Kate's watching the scene, and she's not surprised by the meaningful look Rick gives her. Alexis disentangles herself, and he beckons at Kate, who steps forward, and presses a quick, rueful kiss to his mouth. "Not how I was hoping tonight would go, Beckett."

"Yeah. Me too." She's almost whispering. How the _fuck_ did she get here? Just a few weeks ago she'd sworn she would throw herself into her work, that she didn't have time to focus on anything else, and suddenly it seems like she's got an entire family. And the worst part of it? It feels _right_.

* * *

Tucking Alexis in on the couch is an odd feeling. The girl had clung to Kate as they'd exited the hospital, and cuddled up to her on the couch while they'd watched an episode of Nebula 9. For Kate, who rarely touched anyone, that had been strange. Not necessarily unwelcome, just- unusual. Alexis had explored the small apartment while Kate made the couch up. Kate had pulled some sheets over the couch, gotten an extra comforter from her closet, and pulled a spare pillow off her own bed, and Alexis had shyly looked around, glancing back at Kate every so often for permission to look at things. Kate considered how different Little Castle was to her father, as she recalled his enthusiasm in the police car. He hasn't been here yet, but she doubts he'll show the same restraint when he does visit.

With a smile, Kate pulls the covers over Alexis and presses a kiss onto her cheek. "Can I turn the light out?"

Alexis nods. "Night, Kate."

"Sleep tight, sweetie."

Kate walks through to her own bedroom, and closes the door behind her, leaning up against it. It's ten o'clock and she's beat. She sends a quick text to Castle- she assumes he's asleep by now, but just in case- _Alexis is sleeping on my couch, hope you sleep well. See you in the morning._ She sighs, changes into pajamas, and settles down onto her bed, intending to read. But the only book in her room is a Castle mystery, and she needs a few minutes to herself, something that's not all about him. Just for a second. She could go back into the living room, comb through her bookshelves in the dark, but she doesn't want to disturb Alexis. Instead, she lifts a box out from under her bed. Roughly photocopied forms and photographs swim before her eyes as she fumbles around the for the picture she really wants. Kate and her Mom, standing together, in front of Rockefeller Center, ice skates over their shoulders. Kate gazes at the picture for a minute, running her index finger over her Mom's face. She bites her lip as a tear threatens to spill out, and finally squeezes her eyes shut for a second. Kate kicks the box back under the bed, and props the picture up against the lamp on her side table, before getting under the covers and turning the lamp out.

In the darkness, Kate's phone beeps, and she reaches out to check it. Castle. _Until tomorrow, Kate. Thank you. x_


	21. Chapter 21

_Roughly photocopied forms and photographs swim before her eyes as she fumbles around the for the picture she really wants. Kate and her Mom, standing together, in front of Rockefeller Center, ice skates over their shoulders. Kate gazes at the picture for a minute, running her index finger over her Mom's face. She bites her lip as a tear threatens to spill out, and finally squeezes her eyes shut for a second. Kate kicks the box back under the bed, and props the picture up against the lamp on her side table, before getting under the covers and turning the lamp out._

_In the darkness, Kate's phone beeps, and she reaches out to check it. Castle. _Until tomorrow, Kate. Thank you. X

* * *

Kate wakes up early, as the sunlight filters in through the blinds. Maybe she should get better blinds. No matter now though, she's up. Kate likes the idea of sleeping in, she's just not very good at it. As a teenager, sleeping past midday had been a weekend staple, and now, even if she has the luxury of a weekend off, she's just become too used to the early mornings, slave to caffeine. Is this what it is, to be an adult? Turning into your parents, one step at a time? Kate remembers the few occasions she woke early, in her teens. She'd stumble into the kitchen, and find her Mom at the kitchen table, drinking her coffee like it was lifeblood. And now, that's Kate. A steaming cup of coffee has become vital to the day, the solitude of the moment before she has to leave her apartment, sacred.

Today, though, she has a nine year old in her living room, and she creeps out of her room, making sure to open the door quickly so it doesn't squeak. It's only six thirty, and does she ever hope Alexis is still asleep. She is, and Kate puts the coffee machine on, wondering whether Alexis will sleep through that. Somehow she doubts it. She pours herself a cup when the machine is done, glad to see Alexis is still breathing evenly. Opening the fridge reveals milk that's a few days out of date, and not a lot more. Well, she'll drink her coffee black if she has to. As for breakfast for Alexis, she's not too sure what she'll be able to offer. Kate guesses she's not supposed to leave Alexis alone even if it's just to duck down to the store on the corner, so she's relieved to find a loaf of bread in the freezer. She has peanut butter, and jelly, so they can have toast for breakfast. Not exactly a Castle worthy breakfast, she has to admit to herself, flashing back to the few mornings she's seen Castle go to town in his kitchen.

She leans back at the counter, closing her eyes as she breathes in the smell of the coffee, sipping at the beverage that's still a little too warm.

Yesterday had been surreal, and Kate's relieved that she's got today off, although she wonders what Lanie got off the body, whether Jones and MacKenzie have a positive ID yet.

A muffled noise, and then a squeak and a thud cause Kate to leap across to her living room in a single movement, coffee cup falling and spilling across the floor. Her eyes widen as she takes in the scene. Alexis has fallen off the couch. The girl looks up at Kate sheepishly. "Ow," she offers. "Morning?"

"Morning, Alexis." It's on the tip of her tongue to giggle, now that she sees Alexis is fine, but she doesn't want to be unkind. Instead, she offers a hand to help pull her up. "Are you okay?"

"Uh-huh." Alexis has turned suspiciously pink as she takes Kate's hand, but embarrassment aside, seems okay. "I forgot where I was and rolled over the wrong- oh! Kate!" Alexis spots the mess on the floor. "Your coffee."

"Yeah. Some cop reflexes, huh?" Kate turns back to the kitchen, cleans up the mess. "Shall we get dressed for the day, and figure out breakfast? You can use the bathroom first." Kate walks into the bathroom with Alexis to find the girl a towel, and to get the water running. The taps are a bit tricky. When the water is running, Kate heads back into her kitchen and pours herself another coffee- whether she's got time for more than one coffee or not, she never makes just a single cup brew, which is lucky since she spilled the first one- and goes to the couch to straightens up the blankets. Sure enough, tangled under the comforter is the stuffed toy she spotted yesterday, a monkey for sure. She folds the sheets, and picks up the monkey, and is surprised by a knock on the door.

* * *

Castle knocks on Kate's door. It's ridiculously early, but he's managed to sweet talk the overnight on call doctor into discharging him early, before shift change. He's feeling much better, although slightly awkward about the fact he can't really remember everything from yesterday clearly. He's not sure if the drugs they had him on had him saying more to Beckett than he perhaps should have.

When Kate opens the door he can only stare.

She looks back at him, questioningly. "Castle. You're… early. Are you… okay? Should they have discharged you so soon?"

Rick finds his voice. "Beckett." He leans in and gives her a kiss, just on the cheek, as she opens the door wider to let him in. "I'm fine. I see you have Monkey Bunkey, so I take it you have my daughter too?"

"What?" She follows his line of vision down to the stuffed toy she's holding. "Oh. Yes. Alexis is getting dressed. Monkey-what?"

"Monkey-Bunkey." He grins, and looks her up and down. Her dark hair is still sleep mussed, her feet are bare. She's gorgeous. And okay, he has seen her naked, in his bed no less, but this _cosy_ version of Beckett is a whole new level of appealing. "Wow. I had no idea getting here so early would have so many side benefits."

She shoots him a sidelong look. "Like?"

"Like Pajama!Beckett!"

"What?" She slaps at him, laughing.

"You going to put Monkey-Bunkey down and offer me a cup of coffee, Pajama!Beckett?"

She rolls her eyes and shoves the monkey into his arms before crossing back to the kitchen and pouring him a coffee. He grins, and takes the cup gratefully. Sleeping in hospital hasn't made for a good night's sleep with all the noises from the hall, and the cracks of light coming in through the windows and under the door, and he's glad for the caffeine. He's gladder still to share the ritual of a morning coffee, even if a quick glance in the fridge when Kate isn't looking reveals that he will indeed be drinking the coffee black.

"Daddy!" Alexis comes rushing out of the bathroom and leaps into his arms. Kate manages to grab his coffee cup from his hands before it goes flying.

"Nice." He nods at her appreciatively. "Cop reflexes, huh?"

Alexis and Kate both burst out laughing.

"What?"

Alexis looks at Kate conspiratorially. "Nothing, Dad. Are you better?"

He nods. "Good as new, daughter." Castle reaches back for his coffee and Kate hands it to him. God, he could get used to this. "Kate." He looks around. He's seen his fair share of crappy Manhattan one bedrooms and studios in his time- lived in a few when he was a kid, too. "This place is nice."

Kate nods. "Yeah." She bites her lip. "I'm… lucky, with this place, I guess." She hesitates. "I really have it because of my Mom, you know? Some money from life insurance, some from the sale of the place I grew up in, so…"

He nods. It's a terrible reason to have a nice place, the death of a loved one helping pave the way to financial stability, but he's still glad for Kate, that she has a safe place like this. "Your Dad doesn't live there anymore, in your old place?"

Her eyes cloud over. "No. He- he didn't want to stay there. He has a little one bedroom too, now." She shakes her head. "Anyway. Alexis and I were about to get some breakfast. I don't think we can manage anything quite to your standards, Castle. Toast?"

He shrugs. "What do you have? I can cook something better than toast." It's a nice kitchen and he quite likes the idea of cooking here.

Kate shakes her head. "I _can_ cook, too. It's more-" she rolls her eyes, and he wonders what he's said, until he realises this time she's chastising herself, "-there's not exactly any food here. I mean, apart from bread. In the freezer. For toast."

Rick's closer to the freezer, and he opens it. Peas, and half a loaf of bread, the latter of which he takes out and inspects. "Freezer burn. How long have you _had_ this bread, Kate?"

She looks mortified. "Uh- I have no idea," she admits.

"Right." He exchanges a glance with Alexis, who is silently watching the exchange. "I _may_ have told Alexis there's no point in going out for breakfast when you can cook- but clearly that's not happening here- so go get dressed, and we'll go out."

* * *

Alexis has settled back on the couch with a book, and Kate heads into her room, telling them she'll shower and get dressed, and then they can go. She's not really surprised when Castle glances at Alexis, engrossed in her book, and then follows her into her room.

"Hey."

"Hey, back." She can't quite control her breathing, not the way she wants to, as he curls the fingers of his left hand into the waistband of her pajamas and pulls her toward him. Her eyes close of their own volition, and she's kissing him, or he's kissing her, and they're still standing, but she's suddenly so glad to have him in her bedroom, so damn close to her own bed, and when he nudges her down on top of the covers it's on the tip of her tongue to remind him his daughter is in the other room- but she can't say a thing, can't stop a thing.

"God, Beckett." He's moaning her name into her mouth, but he pulls back a little. She opens her eyes to look at him- trying to see what he's thinking, trying to really see if he gets what he is doing to her. "Beckett. Kate," he almost gasps, his eyes dark. He chuckles. "Quick and quiet? It's not really my plan A, but…"

Kate pulls him back down to her as his hand inches under her top. "Quick and quiet," she whispers back, agreeing. As if she could say anything else.

* * *

_After_, Kate showers- also quickly, also quietly, also with Rick. They return to her room- she's awfully glad her bathroom is off the bedroom- and he pulls on the clothes he was wearing when he arrived. The clothes she picked out for him when she was in his loft with Alexis yesterday. Wow. She pulls on jeans and a sweater over her panties and bra. He's watching her, in that way he has. He watches her when she's drinking coffee, when she's beneath him, when she's getting dressed. She flushes, as she realises. She likes it.

But his attention has been caught, he's distracted by something else. This is what Kate was expecting, to be honest. He touches things, and wants to know things, so she's not exactly surprised when he takes his eyes from her and stalks around the room, inspecting. He touches the lamp, strokes the top of her jewellry box. She's amazed that he's got the restraint to stop himself from opening it, and she sighs quietly to herself, willing to indulge him his moment. He reaches for the picture on her side table, the one she took out last night, and he looks at her, silently asking permission, before picking it up when she nods at him.

"Your Mom?"

"Yeah. Just- from just before. I was home on winter break. We went ice skating."

"Yeah? Do you still skate? Maybe we can go skating sometime."

"It's been a while," she admits, not hating the idea.

Rick sidesteps, and she hears the thud, knows what it is before he looks down to see what he's tripped on.

_Leave it,_ she wants to whisper, but the sound doesn't come out and he reaches down and picks up the open box, confusion flooding his face, and then horror.

"This… you have this?"

"Please…" Kate closes her eyes and presses her fingers to her eyelids. "Please. Just drop it. Leave it." Her voice is raw and she can't believe how _stupid_ she's been, to think she can have this- this man in her house, in her shower, in her bed. In her life. Not when she has that box- the shoe box of _horrors_, waiting like that, under her bed.

"What is that, Kate?" He knows it's her Mom's file, she knows he knows, he's crossing the room, reaching her, pulling her to him, stroking her hair. And she lets him.

* * *

Kate's quiet as the three of them leave her apartment, checking and double checking the locks after she pulls the door shut behind them. Alexis, bless her- and what he ever did to get a daughter like this, so amazing, caring, open and loving is beyond him- skips around him to Kate, in favour of walking beside her father. She takes Kate's hand, without asking, as though it's nothing, and he sees Kate squeeze his daughter's hand, gratefully.

They eat at a new breakfast place around the corner from Kate's apartment. It's still early, breakfast, not brunch, but busy. Kate's got pancakes- Alexis promptly changed her order from waffles to pancakes after Kate made her decision- and Rick's got poached eggs. "Because I can do every other kind of eggs at home, but I never get these quite right," he tells her. He's pretty interested in her pancakes, though, not asking when he leans over and scoops up some of the berries.

"Hey!" She knocks his hand away. "Steal from Alexis!"

Alexis giggles but Rick just shakes his head. "Nope. Yours are fair game."

He orders a cappuccino, and Kate grins wryly. "Pretty disappointing coffee for you this morning, huh? No milk at my place?"

"Well." It's not an admission, because he can't stand to disappoint her- he's kind of aware how ridiculous that is, when it's just a question of _milk_- but he's not going to lie either.

"Yeah, well. I don't really like black coffee, either." Kate bites her nail.

"Beckett?" She looks up at him, her thumb still curled into her lip. "Not a disappointing morning, though." And she smiles back at him, the smile reaching her eyes for the first time since he saw the file on her Mom's cold case, messily shoe boxed, literally under her bed.


	22. Chapter 22

_He orders a cappuccino, and Kate grins wryly. "Pretty disappointing coffee for you this morning, huh? No milk at my place?" _

"_Well." It's not an admission, because he can't stand to disappoint her- he's kind of aware how ridiculous that is, when it's just a question of _milk_- but he's not going to lie either. _

"_Yeah, well. I don't really like black coffee, either." Kate bites her nail._

"_Beckett?" She looks up at him, her thumb still curled into her lip. "Not a disappointing morning, though." And she smiles back at him, the smile reaching her eyes for the first time since he saw the file on her Mom's cold case, messily shoe boxed, literally under her bed._

* * *

Kate looks up at Rick almost shyly. "So. What do you guys have planned for today?"

She's pushing herself out of their vision of the day, he intuits, the way she phrased that, as though she thinks they'll want to do their own thing, spend the day without her. Hardly. "Well, you were talking about ice skating, before, so…" he meets her eyes. She's still smiling, but the smile doesn't quite reach her eyes.

Alexis' eyes widen. "Skating? Really?" She looks at Kate rather than him. "Can we?"

Rick sees her hesitation. "Come on," she says, to him, not Alexis, pleading. Now he's stuck. If she really wants to be left alone, he'll leave her alone. But if she's just being polite- well, no. He's not down with that, not in any way, shape or form. Damn. This is hard, with Alexis here. Sometimes he thinks Alexis is his wing man- he's never used her as such before- (well, not since he was picking up women in the playground, but those days are so long gone it's ridiculous-) but it also makes it harder. To just talk, to Kate, without little ears hearing way too much.

Fine. He'll bite the bullet. Alexis can handle it. "Kate," he says, softly. Her eyes jerk up to him. "Kate- if you don't want to ice skate, that's okay. If you don't want to hang out with us today- that's okay too. But Alexis and I would _love_ to go skating with you."

She scrunches up her face in a half smile- another look to catalogue, he thinks, and nods. "So."

"So?" he prompts, when it seems like she's not going to say anything else.

"Today. Skating. Tonight- we-" She pauses again, looks at him like she wants him to read her mind. He can only stare back. Alexis is watching her too. "What are your plans for after skating?"

Oh. Oh. He gets it. "Today skating. And tonight." He grins. "Are you up for our date do-over?"

* * *

Kate doesn't know when she last had this much fun. Rick had assured her that he was good at ice skating, but Alexis' look had betrayed that. Well, what he lacked in skill he certainly made up for in enthusiasm. Alexis, on the other hand, has been doing well and skated away from them without looking back.

"Should you be skating?" she asks him, after he tumbles for the fourth time. "Falling this much can't really be doing your wrist any favours."

"You'll have to hold my hand, then," he tells her, grabbing at her and almost pushing her over as he lunges forward.

She shakes her head, but accepts his hand- strong, and warm, even through the gloves, and she doesn't want to skate anymore, just wants to take him back to her place and have those hands on her. "Come on then. Once more around, together, this time." She's kind of pulling him along, but he doesn't protest. It's not like they can go all that fast anyway.

They're not the only New Yorkers to take advantage of the clear day, and the rink is packed. They reach a patch of ice that's not as crowded as some of the other sections, and Rick pulls her back. "Wait," he whispers, as he pulls her closer to him, wraps his arms around her waist.

"Mmm?"

"Thank you," he whispers into her ear, his breath hot on her neck.

Kate pulls back, looks at him. "For what?" God, she should be thanking him. Some days she looks into that box under her bed, and she can't get her head back out of it. Rick didn't give her a choice, this morning, Rick and his daughter, pulling her into their world without a second thought.

"For coming skating with us. For yesterday. For looking after my daughter-"

"No- I just- no," she says. "You don't have to thank me. Just- of course. Of course I helped-"

"No, Kate. Helping would have been if I got a sitter to look after Alexis, or if her friend's Mom collected her from school. I don't know what you said to her, but my daughter- you really took care of her yesterday. And I'm grateful."

_He's_ grateful. For a second Kate is sideswiped, remembering again, who she's with. _How_, she doesn't even know. Richard Castle's arms are around her, she's ice skating in New York, like a damn fairytale, and _he _is telling her that he's grateful for the day she spent looking after his daughter. No. This isn't how it goes. Kate Beckett doesn't do this. Because this is beginning to feel suspiciously like- _family_.

* * *

When Kate heads back to her place after skating and hot chocolate, Rick calls his mother, from his new (old) green phone. After skating, Kate had suggested they stop in a few stores and look at new phones, but he's kind of keen to hold on to this one for a while. It's clunky, and texting is a nightmare, but it's from _her_ and he likes that.

"Richard, darling," Martha greets him, when she picks up.

"Mother. How was your trip?"

"Oh, lovely, lovely," she tells him. Rick can hear the smile in her voice, the dramatic flair that assures him she's been having altogether too much fun- or been doing far more than he wants to know, in any case. "And how was your date with the lovely Officer Beckett last night?"

He clears his throat. "Well- we didn't quite make it to our date-"

"Oh Richard! What did you do- oh!" She gasps delightedly, much to his chagrin. "Did you not make it your date because-"

"Mother! I beg you. Please don't finish that sentence. I- I needed to take a raincheck." Hmm. How to tell his mother about his accident? She's not the most sentimental of parents, but he figures hearing that he was hospitalised isn't going to please her. "I was in a _minor_ car accident yesterday- so we postponed the date."

He grimaces, waiting on his mother's inevitable chiding. She doesn't disappoint, although it's not quite the _loving_ parental response he'd find himself giving, if, God forbid, Alexis was in danger. "Oh, darling! Did you wreck the Ferrari?" He thinks there's actually genuine concern behind the curtain of drama in her tone. Maybe.

"Mother! _I'm_ fine, thank you _so_ much for your concern."

Laughter trills. "Oh kiddo- of course you're fine- you're calling me a full day later. Now. Your date with Officer Beckett. Let me guess- you need someone to look after Alexis tonight? I can be over by six."

"Thank you, Mother."

"But, Richard?"

Oh. A catch. Of course. But his mother's words surprise him. "Don't screw this up, kiddo."

Well. His mother has never been this nice about any of the other women he's ever dated, Meredith included. He figures that since he's usually shit out of luck in lasting relationships, this is encouraging.

* * *

The last of the evening light is fading fast when Kate gets out of the bathtub. She'd come home after skating determined to take some time to herself before her date. Castle had assured he would be able to get a great table at whatever fabulous place he knew, even at this late stage, and she'd shrugged, giving in to the idea that a real date might actually happen this time. Apparently his mother would be back and come hell or high water, she would be watching Alexis.

Kate had come back to her place and run a hot bath, liberally adding bubbles, and easing into it with the book from her bedside table in her hands. It was in a different position on her side table when she'd come out of her bathroom after Castle this morning, and she's a little embarrassed that he's seen how big a fan she is- to have him in her bed before breakfast, and his words all the while so close. Having his book in her bedroom seems suddenly _indecent_- but she can't resist plucking it from its resting place and taking it into the bathroom with her.

It's only when the water cools and she forces herself to get out of the tub- the words are familiar, she's reread them over and over in the past, the book opens to her favourite passages by itself- that Kate looks critically at the cover. _Kissed and killed_ is kind of sexy, and she hopes Castle didn't open it and see just what scene she had bookmarked. _Wow_. And _shit_. Because this is _sexy_, and he claims she's inspired his next character- (Next book? Next series?) and is their bedroom stuff going to find its way between the pages? And the scenes in _Kissed and killed_- were they inspired by- who? Alexis' mother? One of the many women happy to be photographed for the tabloids?

Kate's determined she won't be mad- the guy's allowed to have a past. He _is_, she tells herself. It's not like she's exactly been saving herself- hell no- she just doesn't think she wants her fictionalised self between the sheets- of paper, so to speak. Well. She guesses she doesn't need to deal with this right now. No, now- she glances at her watch- she has less than an hour before Castle's comes over to pick her up.

* * *

Castle's oddly nervous when he knocks on Kate's door for the second time that day. He tells himself that there's no need for the butterflies- he's had breakfast and lunch with the woman, and he was in her bed this morning. But, there's a different kind of pressure on a real date- as though everything up until now has been a rehearsal and this is the opening night performance. And the flowers are wrong, but he doesn't have time to do anything different, and yesterday's intended romance had turned out badly. So, daisies from the corner store across from his own place is his concession. He realises he left her tulips in the hospital when he was discharged this morning and mentally kicks himself.

Kate's stunning when she answers the door- black dress showing oh so much, and not at all enough of long stockinged legs. Her eyes are greener than ever, and he can only beam at her as he thrusts the flowers awkwardly forward. _Smooth, Rick_, he thinks to himself. When she smiles his heart swells. Man. He's a sap. How he has the reputation he has is beyond him, because to Rick it's patently obvious that anything else, other than this, is mere pretense.

"Thank you." Kate accepts the flowers and beckons him in as she grabs a vase from the kitchen and quickly fills it with water. She unwraps the flowers, trimming the stems before putting them into the vase. "Ready?"

Castle nods. "Ready." Kate grabs a jacket he hasn't seen before from the back of the couch, and he helps her into it, using the opportunity to let his hand linger on her shoulder. "Kate?"

"Mmm?"

"Just wondering- exactly how many jackets do you own?"

She throws her head back, a genuine laugh that has him chuckling too. "You're cataloguing my jackets now?"


	23. Chapter 23

_Castle nods. "Ready." Kate grabs a jacket he hasn't seen before from the back of the couch, and he helps her into it, using the opportunity to let his hand linger on her shoulder. "Kate?"_

"_Mmm?"_

"_Just wondering- exactly how many jackets do you own?"_

_She throws her head back, a genuine laugh that has him chuckling too. "You're cataloguing my jackets now?"_

* * *

That was _fun_.

"Best. First date. Ever!" Castle declares as he walks her up the stairs to her apartment.

Kate can only nod in agreement. It turns out Castle knows how to show a girl a good time- dinner at a new restaurant, drinks at a nearby bar afterward. It's not that he did anything so special, she knows- but the little things add up. Flowers, opening car doors. She spends so much of her time fighting to be seen in the NYPD. Being treated like a woman on a date? Something she kind of loves.

The cab ride home, however, had been agony, beside one another but unable to do anything, the driver constantly flicking his eyes into the rear view mirror and glaring at them with mistrust. "He probably knows who you are- wants his book signed-" Kate had joked, lying through her teeth- this cab driver did _not _enjoy having amorous couples in his car.

"Next time we're taking the car service," he'd promised her, his breath on her throat making her shiver as he traced indelicate lines on her thigh- higher and higher and all she wanted to do was get back to her place and get the hell out of this cab and take him upstairs and- she'd squeezed her eyes shut tightly, images of what she wanted to do imprinted on her eyelids.

They've reached her door. "So." She raises her eyebrows at him. "You wanna come in? Just for a drink?"

"Just for a drink," he agrees, and Kate grins, unlocking the door. It's beyond her how they even made it up the stairs. She opens the door, flicks on the lamp. It's not too bright, but she can see Castle's eyes, dark. The moment she's got the door shut she closes the gap between them, pushing Castle back against the door. "So tell me, Beckett," he whispers, before she can press her mouth to his. "Do you kiss on the first date?"

She raises an eyebrow. "What, Castle- you won't respect me in the morning if I do?"

"Oh- I can promise you- I'll respect you. But- just wondering what the ground rules are-"

"Castle-" She pauses. "How can I put this delicately? Rick, you've seen me naked."

"It was pretty delicate," he agrees with a chuckle. His hands have found their way into her hair, and she's still leaning into him, pressing him against the door, when he leans back towards her, and kisses her. Oh god. Kate never wants this to end. His hands move to the small of her back, and he turns them around- suddenly she's the one being pressed into the door, his leg nudging between her legs, and oh god- if this can never stop, Kate thinks she can die happy.

* * *

The night light from the city is filtering its way through the lightly covered windows, spilling a soft orange glow into Kate's room. _Against the front door_? Rick feels his cheeks warm at the memory and he looks at the sleeping woman lying beside him. They'd barely made it into the apartment, and he's blown away by how right this all feels. Stupid cab driver, he'd thought, but in hindsight, _not _doing it in a taxi is probably for the best, since Kate probably needs to not be arrested for public indecency, given she works for the NYPD.

Now, they've made it into her bed, by way of the door and the shower, and Beckett passed out the moment her head hit the pillow. He strokes her hair, twisting it through his fingers. Usually, he's a good sleeper. He'd had to fight to train himself to get up to Alexis when she was a baby, and now Alexis is older, he's usually the one dead to world. But he can't stop staring. Kate is- extraordinary. Raw and compassionate, beautiful and funny. Rick knows he's given to flights of fancy, to romance- he falls in love at the drop of a hat, then he turns a corner, and it's done. This, though, feels different. More real. More raw. Heavier, as though in loving Beckett- although God knows, he won't use the word _love _in front of her, not yet- there's a new weight, even to his own self.

And the way she loved his daughter, looking after Alexis without a second thought- Rick knows, intellectually, that he's only known Kate a matter of weeks- but her utter compassion and kindness has blown him away. He's not looking for a mother figure for Alexis, but trusting Kate with his daughter feels right. Hell, he'd followed Sophia around for a year, spent six months in the woman's bed, and Alexis hadn't met the Agent, not even once. He's grateful that his mother had winked at him before he'd left tonight, with the whispered assurance that she would stay the whole night in the loft with Alexis, if he was "otherwise occupied" and unable to make it home- "but you can explain your walk of shame to your daughter," she'd told him.

It wouldn't be a walk of shame, as far as Rick was concerned. He drifts off, well past the edge of consciousness, if not in a deep sleep. Beside him, Kate snuffles and gasps, and he closes his hand around her shoulder. Unconsciously, Kate burrows into him, her breathing becoming jagged and she cries out- it's unintelligible, but she's having a nightmare, and he wriggles closer to her, enveloping her slight frame automatically.

"Kate," he whispers into her ear, half waking, rhythmically stroking her back, wanting her to wake. "Wake up, Kate." She cries out again, and the terror in her voice shocks him fully awake with its ferocity. "Kate, Kate-"

Her eyes fly open, and she struggles against him, before she really sees him and stills. "Castle?"

"Shhh, I'm here, I'm here." He can feel her heart pounding in her chest.

"Oh-" she moans, "I was dreaming-"

"I could tell. Wanna talk about it?"

She shakes her head, squeezing her eyes shut as she rests her head on his broad chest. "My Mom? Me? My Dad. I don't know what this one was about. I have a lot of nightmares." She shakes her head again, and he thinks he feels a dampness on his chest.

"You have a lot of nightmares?" He sounds surprised, but he doesn't know why he should be- she carries a lot of ghosts with her. "Why didn't I know this?" He wonders what is in the box beneath her bed- he'd seen the top page, he knows it's her Mom's case- but he doesn't know why it's here. Surely she's not supposed to have access to it? He wants to ask, but in a moment of rare restraint, he holds himself back. It's not the time.

"I guess I never had one when I stayed over with you." She lets out a sounds that might be a laugh, and he clings to the sound, to the idea that the gravity of the moment has lessened somewhat. "I mean- and this might come as a surprise to you- but we don't actually know each other that well-"

He shakes his head. "Not true, Beckett," but he whispers it into her hair, kind of hopes she can't hear him. "Do you think- I mean, do you feel safer, when you stay with me? How often do you have them, anyway?"

She shrugs. "No. I mean, yes, I feel safe with you. I do. It's not every night. It's just dumb luck. Some nights I'm fine."

"Kate- if I'm not with you- and you have a nightmare? You can call me. Any time of night. You know that, right?"

"And what- you'll answer on your crappy green phone?"

"Stop knocking the phone, Kate. You know I love that thing." '_And you_' is the silent add on to that sentence that he keeps to himself.

* * *

Kate wakes in the morning before Castle, and pads out to her kitchen to start the coffee maker. The landscape hasn't changed since he arrived yesterday morning, so there's nothing but coffee in the apartment, but she figures that's still a good start. She makes two cups and takes a book from the bookshelf, heading back into the bedroom, popping one of the cups on the table beside Castle before curling back into bed.

Last night- she can't believe she had another nightmare. She's beyond sick of them. But the way Rick had held her- that was new. She can't remember Royce ever even waking up to her cries. And of course, apart from Royce, she hasn't exactly made it a habit to spend the whole night with anyone. She opens the pages of yet another favourite, and settles down, devouring the first chapter, before Rick stirs beside her.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, Castle? I'm reading."

"My stuff?" The glee in his voice is like a trigger- she rolls her eyes and huffs.

"I do own other books, you know."

He nods. "I saw. Frankly, the amount of Patterson you own is obscene."

"Castle- I own, like, two Pattersons. Maybe three." Okay, so she's read them all, and she owns five or six, but she knows some are at her Dad's place, so Castle doesn't need to know the details. What can she say. Alex Cross is nearly as addictive as Derrick Storm.

"Exactly. Obscene. Nobody needs to own that many."

"Shut up and drink your coffee-"

"Oh! You made me coffee-" he reaches for it, and stops with dismay when the cup reaches his lips. "Beckett- this is _cold_! You're cheating on me with Patterson, and you made me cold coffee-"

Kate purses her lips. "_Really_, Castle? _Cheating_ on you? And I promise you, that coffee was hot, and if you weren't such a heavy sleeper, you could have had it when it was still warm."

Rick wrinkles his nose. "What's the time, Beckett?"

Kate has the good grace to blush. "Seven thirty."

"On a _Sunday_?" Rick squeaks at her, indignation rich in his voice.

"What? You were here at an ungodly hour yesterday morning-"

"Yes, but Beckett- yesterday I had a _mission_."

"Well maybe you should have a _mission_ now," she replies, her smile negating the impatient tone.

"Maybe our _mission_ right now should be sleeping-" She puts her book down, and snuggles back under the covers, her hands finding his bare skin as she pulls him towards her. "Or- okay- maybe some other kind of mission…" His voice trails off as she kisses his neck, and he responds, his arms wrapping around her and his hands dipping below the covers, ready to divest her of her sleep shirt.

**A/N: readers and reviewers (and followers and favouriters)- thank you. Especially a shout out to Kristy, for the 250th review- and I think she maybe was my first reviewer as well! x**


	24. Chapter 24

_Rick wrinkles his nose. "What's the time, Beckett?"_

_Kate has the good grace to blush. "Seven thirty."_

"_On a _Sunday_?" Rick squeaks at her, indignation rich in his voice._

"_What? You were here at an ungodly hour yesterday morning-"_

"_Yes, but Beckett- yesterday I had a _mission_."_

"_Well maybe you should have a _mission _now," she replies, her smile negating the impatient tone._

"_Maybe our _mission _right now should be sleeping-" She puts her book down, and snuggles back under the covers, her hands finding his bare skin as she pulls him towards her. "Or- okay- maybe some other kind of mission…" His voice trails off as she kisses his neck, and he responds, his arms wrapping around her and his hands dipping below the covers, ready to divest her of her sleep shirt._

* * *

Kate stretches and smiles, surveys the apartment. Time to do some of that laundry she's promised herself she'll catch up on. At this point it's not really a choice anymore- laundry or buy new clothes. And while her jacket and shoe collection betray her as a shopaholic, Kate doesn't actually enjoying shopping in and of itself. Her dress from last night is by the door, boots kicked off into the living room. Yesterday's underwear- she's not too sure where that's at. Yeah. Rick had had to come back out here to retrieve his clothes before he could get dressed and leave for the day. Well. It had been a great end to a great date.

Her stomach rumbles. Not just laundry today- she should maybe eat soon- maybe even grab some groceries so her pantry is less embarrassingly bare next time Rick is here. She's on a late shift today. "I don't understand your roster," Castle had complained. She'd told him not to bother trying to understand it. And really, the NYPD rostering clerk's system had never really bothered her before. She supposes that now she can kind of understand the complaints she's heard some of the uniforms make. She never really had a reason to not throw herself into her work before. But there is a strange sense of regret when she tells Rick she can't come back to his loft with him and spend the day there.

But first, there's something she thinks she probably should do. Kate finds her phone (in her purse, under a jacket, on the table by the front door, next to the lamp they evidently knocked over last night) and calls her Dad.

* * *

Castle's whistling as he cabs back across to his place. No doubt his mother and Alexis are up already, so he'll have to make light of his early morning return, but he figures Martha won't want to be on pancake duty, so he can threaten her if necessary. Besides, Alexis is ten, not stupid, so frankly, this is not like slinking in after a night with Sophia a few years ago.

It's disappointing that Kate couldn't come back with him, but logically he gets it. She has to work, and besides, some time apart would probably do them both good. Privately, he can't see why, but Kate had insisted she be left alone for the day, with the promise she would text him when she was done with work. "Late," she'd said. "I'll be really late. Do you really want me waking you up to sneak into your apartment at midnight?" She'd scoffed at his suggestion that he give her a key, but agreed to message him to see if the offer still stood when her shift finished.

He pays the cab driver as they arrive at his building, the cabbie practically throwing the change back at Castle before Rick can tell the guy to keep it. Huh. Grumpy cab drivers all round- he can only assume this one didn't care for the whistling. Or the humming. There may have been humming. Rick's still grinning to himself in the elevator ride up to his apartment.

"Where's Kate?" Alexis' question throws him the moment he walks in the door.

"Uh- what?"

His mother is standing in the kitchen, cup of coffee in hand. She raises it to him. "Cheers, kiddo." Rick makes a face at her.

"Kate- has to work today- so you're stuck with me. Mother. Thank you-" he presses his hands together and makes a little bow to her in appreciation. He kisses Alexis' head, and takes the cup of coffee that his mother has poured for him. "Have you two ladies had breakfast?"

Alexis shakes her head emphatically, while Martha nods, pointing at the stove top. He was half right. The woman has indeed made pancake batter, but Alexis, bless her, has had the sense to prolong the moment before the actual cooking of batter. Okay. He sticks a finger in the batter- his mother swipes at him with a dish towel, but he ignores her- okay, another egg, it's just pancake batter. He can fix this. "You do realise you need to stir the flour in, don't you, Mother?"

Martha shrugs, waves her hand. "Oh, Richard. The mysteries of cooking. I shall leave this in your capable hands."

"Why didn't Kate come?" His daughter is persistent.

"Honey, she has to work today. And I think she needed some time alone- Or- maybe I didn't let her come- do you know what I caught her doing? She was reading a James Patterson!"

Alexis giggles. "She's allowed!" She sticks her finger into the batter too, and smiles gratefully at him. "Thanks for fixing the pancakes," she whispers.

"Anytime," he stage whispers back, winking at her and turning the burner on. "You get the syrup out, okay?"

As they eat, he brings up their trip to see Meredith. His ex-wife hasn't messaged to cancel, so he thinks it's probably safe to suggest a trip to LA. "What about a weekend away, soon, pumpkin?"

Alexis nods eagerly, her hair falling into the syrup left on her plate. "Where to? Oh! Can we go skiing? Paige and her parents went skiing, and it sounded so awesome!"

Rick brushes her (now sticky) hair back, and piles another pancake onto his daughter's plate. "Hmm, I was thinking LA- that way, if your Mom is free, we could spend some time with her."

Alexis shrugs, considerably less enthusiastic than she had been about her skiing idea. "Sure, Dad. But she'll probably just be busy." She says it softly, as though she's the one letting him down gently, and Castle mentally curses Meredith.

"Well, we'll call her, make sure she makes time for us, huh? And hey- maybe we can go skiing too, before the snow melts."

* * *

Beckett is freezing her ass off at ten thirty at night in Central Park, standing at the yellow tape beside L.T.. She's not at all content standing here, but being paired with L.T. makes it more bearable. He's a taciturn officer, and Kate feels comfortable with him. Unlike so many of the other officers she works with he's not in this for the career, doesn't have ambition she and so many of the others have. Kate doesn't know why, and she hasn't asked. The crowds aren't exactly flocking to this scene, and she's eyeing the two detectives behind the tape with envy. For one, their jobs are actually interesting, and secondly, they each have a coffee in hand. Kate's fighting to keep her eyes open (okay, she might just be willing to concede Castle's point that sleeping past seven thirty on a Sunday has its merits- although he had conceded her point that there were some advantages to being up early) so she wants the caffeine as well as the warmth.

Beckett hasn't worked with either of the detectives on duty, and the M.E. is Perlmutter- nobody's favourite, Kate knows. Without Jones, or MacKenzie, or even Lanie on the other side of the tape, Beckett's chances of crossing the flimsy yellow barrier are slim. It's cool comfort, but at least if she doesn't get roped into anything more interesting than her glorified security guard role, she'll be able to go home at shift's end, in another half hour.

The day hasn't exactly gone to plan- not after her phone call with her decidedly not sober father- so the idea of curling into bed with Rick is all too appealing. Why was she so quick to believe her father last time? They'd had breakfast and it had felt for a moment that the world had righted itself. And she's fallen for his lies, again. What will it take? Both her parents in their graves before she can make peace with the idea of being an orphan?

A cruiser drives up, and Jones steps out. Ah. He's been called in after all. "Beckett," he greets her. "You got this, L.T.?" L.T. nods, and Jones beckons to Kate to follow him across the line. "Come on, Beckett. Update me on the vic."

Beckett can't exactly update him thoroughly, but she's got the gist of it, and she fills Jones in- a stabbing, wallet and ID still on the body, so not a mugging, or at least not a successful one. James Harris bled out a few feet away from where he's lying now, and Perlmutter grunts in agreement with Kate's assessment that the death was probably drawn out.

The evening is drawn out too- Kate goes with Jones to notify next of kin. It's an altogether horrifying experience, but once again, having been on the other side, she can only vow to be honest with the victim's sister and promise they'll do their utmost to bring the killer to justice. It's no consolation for James' sister and Kate offers what solace she can, all the while knowing how empty it sounds.

* * *

Kate doesn't make it to Castle's place that night- God, she wants to- it's three in the morning before Jones dismisses her, and she needs to be back at the precinct by nine. She falls into bed without so much as checking her phone, and snatches a restless five hours before her alarm jerks her back to reality. The little flash on her cell shows a message, and she flips it open to see the message from Castle that came through at ten, asking whether she was off work. Damn. She could have replied to that one, too, if she'd heard the beep. The next is at one in the morning- not a demand for her company, but a request- _Sweet dreams… but call me if you have a nightmare- my phone is on. _She texts back still in bed, delaying the moment her feet need to hit the floor. _Morning. Sorry, just saw this. Don't think I dreamt at all- didn't get out of work til three, going back there now._

**A/N: I think we're more than halfway there! Thanks for the reviews- they make my day brighter every time I get one! Mostly just happy to know people are reading this!**


	25. Chapter 25

_The little flash on her cell shows a message, and she flips it open to see the message from Castle that came through at ten, asking whether she was off work. Damn. She could have replied to that one, too, if she'd heard the beep. The next is at one in the morning- not a demand for her company, but a request-_ Sweet dreams… but call me if you have a nightmare- my phone is on_. She texts back still in bed, delaying the moment her feet need to hit the floor. _Morning. Sorry, just saw this. Don't think I dreamt at all- didn't get out of work til three, going back there now_._

* * *

Beckett swings into the break room before she can be waylaid by Jones. She can see him at the board they set up last night, and she'd like to be armed with caffeine before throwing theories around. She's just poured herself a cup and is about to replace the half empty pot into the machine when Captain Montgomery walks into the room. "Coffee, Sir?" She holds the pot out towards him, gestures towards the cups on the counter.

Montgomery nods. "Thanks Beckett. How's Rick doing?"

Crap. He knows Castle. Knows she took off early on Friday. Ugh. She needs her personal life to stay out of the precinct. Kate nods. "He's doing fine, Sir. Back at home, they only kept him in overnight."

Montgomery cocks his head as he looks at Beckett. "Good. Good to hear." He takes the coffee Kate has poured for him, and heads back across the bullpen to his office. Beckett sighs.

She's always been so grateful to Montgomery. He'd caught her in the evidence room in her first week at the twelfth, pouring over her Mom's files. "You're not authorised to be here, Officer," he'd told her. And then he'd walked back to the door. "I'll be back in another ten minutes, and when I am, I expect to find you were never here. Understood?" She'd nodded dumbly. That ten minutes had given her the chance to get the file to the photocopier across the hall, copy the pages- a sloppy, rushed job- and have the file back in place, and the room locked before her Captain returned.

Now, though- it's all just so tangled. Montgomery knows Castle, Castle's seen the box under her bed. She pinches the bridge of her nose, before steeling herself. She gulps down a mouthful of coffee, and heads back into the bullpen to see if Jones can use her on the case.

* * *

Rick groans when he sees Kate's message. She must be dead on her feet, he thinks, vowing to get a coffee to her on her break. Make her take a break, if he possibly can. He gets Alexis off to school without any fuss- the trip to L.A. didn't come up again yesterday, and he's loath to bring it up before he's really confirmed the plans with Meredith.

He dials Meredith around ten, before he can talk himself out of it- and because he knows she won't answer and he can just leave a message. The three hour time difference means it's only seven on the West Coast. To his disappointment, Meredith picks up, sounding sleepy. "Hey, Rick."

He remembers when the sound of her voice used to drive him to distraction. He always thought she sounded so innocent, and he was always so ready buy her act. He doesn't know, now, if he's angry at Meredith anymore, but he knows he's angry at himself. He let Meredith use his good will all too often, was happy to pay with his own happiness to keep his family together. It hadn't worked, yet he'd continued to let her push him around. Well. No more. "Hey, Meredith."

"It's so early- did you miss me?" It's always about Meredith, he thinks.

"No-"

"No?" She sounds sulky, the way he used to find so sexy and it just does nothing for him right now.

"No, Meredith, _Alexis_ misses you. I just- we're coming to L.A. to see you, in another fortnight. Will you be there?" He hates that he's basically begging her to spend time with her daughter.

"But of course I will be, silly! I'm so looking forward to it! I've got the guest room all set up for Alexis, and I can't wait to see you both."

Kate's face flashes into his mind. Most of his hesitance with this trip is about her, not Alexis, he realises. "About that guest room, Meredith. Don't worry, I've booked a hotel. I think it's just- easier." What is he going to say to Kate when he runs across the country to visit his ex-wife? But he's not sending Alexis alone, that's out of the question. He wishes he could book a ticket for Kate too, that he, Alexis and Kate could simply take a weekend away, without it being about Meredith. Oh. Well. He figures they still can. They could do the skiing weekend Alexis suggested. Maybe he'll get a handle on Kate's roster and surprise her with a weekend away.

"Sure, Rick, sure." He can hear the feigned hurt in Meredith's voice and decides to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she really does want to see Alexis.

They hang up, and he makes himself a coffee, before settling back into his office. He needs to get the last of this _Storm_ done, before he can really take the bull by the horns and get into the _Nikki _story. It's going to be a series, he can feel it.

* * *

Kate's happy with how the case is going. She's been running down the vic's financials, and it's pretty clear something was amiss. She just can't work out what. He's been getting pretty regular payments coming from an unknown account, but the amount is a few dollars different each week. It doesn't make any sense, but it's always around to a fifteen hundred dollars. She stares at the A4 sheets before her, willing them to release their secrets. What could account for the fluxations? Aha- she has it, looking up at Jones triumphantly. "It's coming from overseas," she tells him. "That's why the amount keeps changing. I bet it's originally come from overseas and this is the conversion rate, from a steady amount."

"Not a bad theory, and I don't have anything better," he agrees. "Well, let's see if we can't trace that account, and see where the money started." Kate nods and picks up the phone. The warrant has come in, and they can get the rest of the financials released from the vic's bank.

It's early evening before Kate checks her phone. She squeezed in a vending machine snack, but it's not exactly lunch and her stomach is growling. The missed messages from Castle have her sighing- he wanted to meet her for coffee, but it looks like that window is long gone. She dials anyway, and is struck by how good it is to hear his voice when he answers. "Castle."

"Hey Castle."

"Hey Beckett." There's a lazy joy in his voice that she finds adorable, and she purses her lips sheepishly. Who the fuck is she and what has she done with Kate Beckett, to be this taken with a guy?

"Sorry I missed your messages- the day has been insane."

"Not a problem- but tomorrow I'm making you have lunch with me."

"Oh yeah? How are you going to do that?"

"I have no idea," he admits. "Are you coming round tonight?"

She nods, then realises he can't see her. "Uh-huh. If the offer is there?"

"It's there."

"Are you cooking?"

"Alexis and I are going to make burgers. Sound good?"

Her stomach answers for her, and she blushes, hoping he can't hear it through the phone. "Sounds great. I'm starving. Around seven?"

"Seven is good." They hang up, and Kate looks around the bullpen. They've interviewed a couple of potential witnesses, all of whom claimed to see nothing. They're pretty sure the bank transfers originated in Australia, but it's only eight in the morning there, so they're a few hours away from getting anything. Jones and MacKenzie are chasing down some new leads, and while Beckett is eager to stay and find out what they've learned, her shift is done, so she shuts the computer down, and grabs her jacket.

* * *

When Kate knocks on Castle's door, he's taken by how stunning she looks, but also by how tired she looks. He remembers her text from this morning and knows she's operating on just a few hours sleep. Before he can greet her with a kiss, his kid has darted across the room and barrelled into Kate.

"What can I say? I guess I wasn't the only Castle to miss you."

Kate grins and hugs Alexis back, then pecks a kiss onto his cheek, allowing Alexis to drag her into the living room. The girl chats openly about her day and Rick shrugs, heading back to the kitchen. Dinner is pretty close to done. "Do you need help?" Kate calls out to him.

He shakes his head. "It's ready." He pours Kate a glass of wine, and hands Alexis a glass of water, and they sit at the table.

Alexis is still filling Kate in. She looks tired, but she's listening to the girl. "We're going to L.A. We're going to see Mom and then we're going skiing. Right, Dad?"

"Skiing in L.A.?"Rick teases. "Afraid not. No. We're going to see Mom, and then we _might_ go skiing another time." He watches Alexis delicately pick the lettuce out of her burger and considers whether or not he should call her on it.

"Oh yeah? You guys ski?" Kate looks up from her dinner- she's eating _fast_ and Rick guesses this is probably the first meal she's eaten today.

Rick nods. "Yeah, we do- do you?" Well. This is a good opportunity to work out whether asking Kate to come away skiing will work. He mentally thanks Alexis, and decides to let the lettuce thing go for the moment.

"I have," replies Kate. "But cross country, never downhill. My Dad has a cabin upstate, so we tried skiing there, when I was younger. I don't know how I'd go at downhill skiing."

Alexis is watching Kate curiously. "Downhill skiing is awesome," she assures the cop. Rick's heart swells with pride. How he got so lucky with such a thoughtful kid is beyond him. She turns back to her Dad. "Are we staying with Mom?"

"Probably not, although she might want us to. She said her guest room is all set up for you."

"But where would you stay at her house- you're not going to stay in Mom's room, are you?" The nine year sounds as horrified as Kate looks, and Rick imagines he doesn't look any less perplexed.

"No! Alexis, no." _Fuck_. He's tried so hard to keep his romantic life away from his daughter, but evidently his indiscretions with Meredith are no secret. "I will be staying in a hotel, and it is up to you and Mom whether you stay with her, or me in the hotel. And, we will talk to Kate on the phone. I promise." The last part is as much for Kate's benefit as it is for Alexis. _Fuck_. He's not exactly ashamed of his colourful past with Meredith, but the last thing he needs is Kate thinking that his visit to L.A. is anything but above board.

* * *

When Alexis has gone to bed, Kate allows herself to draw breath. Rick comes back downstairs and envelopes her in a hug, and she lets the tension of the day fall away.

"That stuff about Meredith," he starts. "There's nothing for you to worry about- you know that, right?"

"I know."

"You're pretty quiet- everything okay?"

Kate doesn't know where to start. Her Dad is weighing pretty heavily on her mind- in deference to that, she didn't touch a drop of the wine Rick handed her tonight, although in her logical mind, she knows there's a big difference between having a glass of wine over dinner, and being alcoholic. She eventually shrugs. "I didn't get much sleep." Then she sighs, figures she may as well go all in. Castle hasn't run yet- she doesn't think he will, but she still thinks he should. "My Dad's drinking again."

Castle doesn't say anything, but he strokes her cheek.

"He was doing so well, when I saw him last- but- it never lasts."

"Has he tried anything- rehab or anything?"

"He goes to A.A. I think. Or, he has gone. But I think that's it. I don't know." She sighs. "I'm sorry. I'm bad company. I shouldn't have come round. I'm going to go." She figures there's no point in bringing Rick down too. She goes to get up, but he pulls her back down.

"Beckett- if you want to go, I'm not going to stop you- but stop worrying about being bad company. Just- come to bed, okay?"

Kate smiles in spite of herself and nods. "Thank you." She runs her hands through her hair, mentally clearing her head. She shouldn't even be thinking about this. She's at Castle's, about to curl up in bed. She needs a good night's sleep, and she needs her head in the case tomorrow.


	26. Chapter 26

_"__Beckett- if you want to go, I'm not going to stop you- but stop worrying about being bad company. Just- come to bed, okay?"_

_Kate smiles in spite of herself and nods. "Thank you." She runs her hands through her hair, mentally clearing her head. She shouldn't even be thinking about this. She's at Castle's, about to curl up in bed. She needs a good night's sleep, and she needs her head in the case tomorrow._

* * *

Kate slips her necklace over her head, laying it on Rick's dresser with care.

"Your Mom's, right?"

Kate nods. "Yeah. Feels like all I have left of her now."

Rick holds himself still, stops himself from walking around to her side of the bed- _her side of the bed- he finds he seriously thinks of it like that_- and going to her, pulls his shirt off and puts on a sleep shirt. He wants to have this conversation, and he thinks he needs to be dressed for it.

Kate smirks at him. "What? You're seriously going to wear something to bed?"

"Oh yeah- have you got other ideas?"

She raises an eyebrow. "Well, maybe a few."

"Kate- first- can I ask you something?"

She nods, but he sees the caution in her eyes.

"You don't have to tell me," he assures her. "But- that box. Under your bed-"

"I know which box," she interrupts him, quietly.

"What did you want to be when you were little?" He changes tacks- he's so afraid of spooking her, and it occurs to him that he should give Kate more credit than he currently is.

Kate smiles wryly, like she knows what he's doing. "I was pre-law at Stanford."

"Wait- didn't you go to NYU?"

"I did, but only after my first year. I started at Stanford, and transferred. I came home after my Mom died because I needed to look after my Dad- although I guess I didn't do a very good job of that."

Rick shakes his head. "It shouldn't even be your job to look after him- he'll work it out."

Kate sighs. "I don't think so, Castle. It's been five years, and he hasn't worked it out- neither of us have, not really. We just don't know how to live without her."

"But you want to solve the case, don't you? That's why you have that box?"

"Yeah." The breath she lets out speaks volumes, and she sits down on her side of the bed. Rick finds himself walking around the bed, sitting next to her, and taking her hand. "They said- the detectives- Raglan- you know, I'd remember his name even if I hadn't looked at the file so many times- Raglan said, in the end, that it was gang violence. Just- random. And I guess I believed him, at the time, because you don't really have a choice. But when I went back to California, it all just kept nagging at me. Mom was a defence lawyer. People- someone out there might have done something, maybe she knew something. And the more I thought about it- I know I'm right, Castle. I _know _I am."

"And that's why you're a cop, not a lawyer," he says, unnecessarily.

"Castle- can we just forget about this. Just for now? Or, okay, maybe always. But mostly now- I want to sleep. Okay?"

He's helpless to refuse her, much as he wants to know more. Maybe he can help, he's got the money, the contacts, to do so, certainly. For now, though, he thinks it will have to wait, and he pulls her up, and leads her into the bathroom. "Shower?"

* * *

Kate's towelling off her hair, and taking her time running a comb through it- she wishes she had a hairbrush here, because the comb Rick produces for her is a nightmare. He's offered to go upstairs and find one of Alexis' brushes, but she doesn't want him to risk waking his daughter. At least her hair is only just shoulder length again- she's had it long before, but right now this choppy shoulder length bob is working for her. Her Mom always liked it longer and she kept it that way in college, but it's just not practical.

When she comes out of the bathroom Rick's already in bed, and she climbs in beside him. "Is Alexis okay?"

"Hmm?"

"About visiting her Mom?"

"Oh- yeah. Yeah, I think so." He scratches his head. "Honestly, I don't know. When I told her I was going to take her away for a weekend, all she wanted to know was whether we could go skiing like her friend Paige. I don't think her Mom really figures into Alexis' head, except for when she gets reminded of the situation, like the other day with that family tree."

Rick's been favouring his left hand all day, Kate realises. "How's your wrist, by the way? Montgomery was asking about you today?"

He has the good grace to look chastened. "Ah- well- you can tell Roy I'm fine."

"Exactly how many times have you played poker together?"

"Why? You want to be dealt in?"

She huffs. "Hardly. I'd kick your ass."

"Yeah, right." His eyes are twinkling. "Not many times- twice, maybe? I know the mayor, the mayor knows Roy- oh! I'll call the mayor and get permission to follow you around at work one day- you know, as research."

"Hell no." Her voice is sharp. "Don't even joke about it."

"Who says I'm joking," Rick grumbles, but he quiets and rolls onto his side and pulls Kate to him.

* * *

Kate slips out the next morning before Rick is awake. She feels good, much better for a good night's sleep. The day is going to be good, she promises herself, and she catches a cab home so she can change before she gets into the precinct. She checks her voicemail in the taxi on the way there, and is dismayed to find her Dad has left two messages overnight. She usually leaves her phone on overnight in case the precinct needs her, but last night she'd switched it to silent.

Her Dad's slurring voice brings her back to herself and wipes the smile off her face. Damn. Cop training has taught her so much, but when it comes to handling her father, she is ill equipped. She feels guilty that she missed it for so long. At first it was easy to ignore. Kate had gone back to California, finished the semester out at Stanford. Then she'd come back to New York, but not spent nearly enough time with her father. First she'd ditched the more serious pre-law courses. She'd found her escape in literature. For college credit it had been all Russian literature, a few language and linguistic classes, and a semester abroad. In her personal time it had been murder mysteries- the good guys always prevailed, there was _always_ a clue that had been missed, and among it all Kate found her resolve, started herself on the trajectory to becoming a cop. She'll have to call her father, but God, she does not know what to say.

Once the cab leaves her at her building, and she gets into her own place, she texts Castle, promising him she'll find time for a lunch break if he can meet her today.

* * *

The days in the next few weeks fall into an easy pattern. Kate stays over more often than not, slipping out early each morning. He's always sorry to see her go, but the consolation of meeting her for coffee sometime during the day, and the fact he knows she'll be back most evenings, make it easier to take.

Rick spends his afternoons hanging out with Alexis. He takes her to her violin lessons, to his mother's delight. "She's an artist!" Martha cries theatrically, as though the creative gene had skipped a generation and his words are meaningless. Rick makes a face but says nothing. Alexis grins up at him, clumsy hands making awkward shapes as she struggles to put bow to strings. Martha, for her part, hasn't been a stranger, and he thinks she's finding reasons to hang around the loft so she can chance a meeting with Kate.

Meredith has postponed the weekend to L.A. like he knew she would, but Alexis didn't seem too concerned when he had told her, truth be told. A weekend in the Hamptons might be just the thing- a nice getaway from the city, but until he knows he can take Kate away for a full weekend, he's holding off mentioning it to her.

Gina sends mock covers for the last _Storm_ and Rick easily gives his opinion, knowing full well that Gina will sort something out herself, nothing to do with his choice. That's okay. He's well past the days of believing he can truly claim ownership of all the facets of his books- the words are his, and that's it. He writes each day, easily finding a rhythm. He pesters Kate daily for details of her day and she looks reluctantly at Alexis if they're all eating dinner together, and gives him what he's sure is a watered down version of the cases she's been working on. Grilling Kate for tidbits from her work that he weaves into the storyline amuses him no end, and he vows that he'll get a ride along one day, although his comments are always shut down.

His wrist is better, and the stitches come out, leaving a scar that is much smaller than he expected- the gash on his wrist has been reduced to a small collection of shallow pucker marks, and the nurse removing the stitches gives him a scar cream that she assures him will fade them further. He tells Kate and Alexis about it when they're cooking dinner one evening. Kate laughs and shakes her head in disbelief at his description of how badass he was when they took the stitches out, and he catches Alexis rolling her eyes in an eerily accurate likeness of Kate's trademark look. It simultaneously warms his heart and scares him how attached his daughter has become in such a short time.

* * *

She comes to him one evening still in her uniform, covered in bruises, rumpled shirt. Martha had been leaving, about to step into the elevator when she'd collided with Kate stepping out. The second time she meets his mother, _and it's like this_, she thinks to herself desperately, looking for an escape route and for a full second considering stepping back into the lift and making a run for it.

Martha widens her eyes at the sight of Kate, and pulls her to her, instinctively. "Whatever _happened_ to you?" She doesn't wait for an answer, just pulls Kate into Rick's loft, and Kate sees Rick's eyes widen in surprise as he takes in her dishevelled state. Martha sits Kate down at the counter, and disappears upstairs- to the bathroom, Kate guesses.

"What _happened_?" Alexis is crowding around too, and Castle's in her face, his fingers tracing the cut along her hairline, worry creasing his eyes.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." She pushes Castle away, not roughly, just- _enough_- because she needs him to _not_ be touching her right now, and she needs Alexis to stop looking at her with fear in her eyes. "Sorry-" She moves as though to get up, but Martha is back,

"Dear. Kate. Sit." To Castle, and even to Alexis, she says, "You two. Stop hovering. Make yourselves useful- Richard- I'm sure Kate could use a tea or a coffee." She winks at Kate- "Or something stronger, am I right?" In spite of herself, Kate giggles. It comes out something like a hiccup, and as Martha pours the disinfecting liquid onto a cotton wool ball and gently wipes at the cuts, Kate can't quite make herself believe that the tears springing to her eyes are from the sting of it sizzling against her skin. It's been a long time since a mother tended her wounds so lovingly. "Now, do you want to tell us what happened?" she asks, when Richard presses a coffee into Kate's shaky hands.

"Oh- it's nothing. It was nothing."

"It doesn't look like nothing, so set Richard's mind at ease, and ours too-" Martha hugs Alexis- "and tell us what happened."

Kate shakes her head. "I am really am fine, you know. I was chasing a suspect- got pulled off homicide, over to robbery," she says, looking at Rick as she tells them, because when she'd spoken to him at lunch she'd been filing paperwork on a homicide investigation. She looks back at Alexis and sets her coffee onto the counter, and reaches out and pulls the girl to her. "I really am fine, Alexis- don't look so worried." Kate finishes the story with her arms around Alexis. "I fell. It's that simple- we gave chase, and I fell." The guy had pulled a gun, too, and Kate, already in agony from falling hard onto her knee, had rolled behind a dumpster, earning herself the cuts on her forehead, before steadying herself and drawing her own weapon. But, guns drawn, regardless of whether they were fired or not, means she's not going to tell the whole story while a wide eyed Alexis is in her arms.

"Did you catch the guy? Oh! Did you shoot him?"

"Really, Richard!" Martha is chiding, and she shakes her head at Kate. "I can't imagine how you put up with him, my dear."

Kate just shakes her head and smiles back at the older woman, before turning to Rick and answering honestly. "No- I didn't shoot him. He came quietly once he realised he didn't have a choice." Of course, having two NYPD officers with their guns trained on you doesn't leave many choices, but people make stupid choices all the time. She shrugs.

"Well, Kate, why don't you go and change, and perhaps Richard can order in for us all?"

Kate sees the scowl on Rick's face and suppresses her own grin. "Mother, I thought you were leaving."

"Oh, well, I was, but how can I leave now- I need to know that Kate's in capable hands, and I'm not sure you won't harrass the poor girl until she's narrating the scene for you, so you can put it in your next novel."

"Good point." Rick tilts his head in acquiescence, evidently giving up on the idea of getting his mother to leave.

It's only when Kate walks into Rick's bedroom to take a quick shower in his bathroom, and pull on some jeans and a clean shirt that she blushes. Crap. She didn't come in with a bag, yet Martha knows she has clothes here? Just how serious has Castle told his Mother this relationship is?

For that matter, Kate knows she's kidding herself if she doesn't admit it's starting to look serious, when she looks at the facts. After all, she _does_ have clothing in Rick's closet, and it really didn't occur to her to not come here to lick her wounds, even if meeting Martha for just the second time wasn't exactly in her game plan.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Happy 100th episode everyone! Thanks so much for following along with my story for all these weeks and months I've been putting it together. If you have any comments, I'd love a review!**

* * *

_It's only when Kate walks into Rick's bedroom to take a quick shower in his bathroom, and pull on some jeans and a clean shirt that she blushes. Crap. She didn't come in with a bag, yet Martha knows she has clothes here? Just how serious has Castle told his Mother this relationship is? For that matter, Kate knows she's kidding herself if she doesn't admit it's starting to look serious, when she looks at the facts. After all, she does have clothing in Rick's closet, and it really didn't occur to her to not come here to lick her wounds, even if meeting Martha for just the second time wasn't exactly in her game plan._

* * *

At lunch the next day, Rick's regaling Kate with stories of growing up with Martha. For all of Martha's dramatics, the dinner last night had gone well. Just as he hadn't expected Kate to become such a big part of Alexis' life so quickly, so too had he not intended her to have to meet his Mother so soon. "I just promised myself I wouldn't let the same thing happen to Alexis," he tells her. "I grew up not knowing how long we'd ever live in any one apartment, so I always wanted to be able to provide a stable home for Alexis."

Kate nods. Her bruises are already fading, and the cut on her forehead is showing signs of healing. "We always lived in the same place too. It was great. Plus my Dad has this cabin upstate, and it was always so much fun to go there in the summer. My Dad used to take me fishing."

"Sounds great." Rick wonders when he'll get the chance to take Kate to his place in the Hamptons- he hopes soon. He has _got _to get his head around her roster so he can start planning ahead.

A shadow falls across their table, and they both look up. Kate knows a lot of people here, it's kind of a cop place, he knows that, so he's not surprised by the flicker of recognition in her eyes. The cloud that falls across her face, even as she stands up and embraces the man- that surprises him.

"Hey kid, you keeping well? Been in the wars, I see?" His eyes flick to Castle- who wants to deck the guy.

"Sure, I'm good, Mike, really good." Kate blinks and shakes her head, like she's shaking off a memory. "Sorry. Sorry. This is Rick. Rick, this is Mike Royce, my training officer.

Right. A work guy. Right. Castle doesn't buy that for a second, but he stands up and shakes Royce's hand. "Nice to meet you," he nods, lying through his teeth.

"Well." Royce tilts his head at the door. "I'm in and out today, just waiting on my coffee. Nice to meet you, Rick." He leans back in to embrace Kate a second time. "See you round, kid, glad to see you're doing good."

A coffee is called, and Royce heads up to the counter to collect it.

"He was my training officer," Kate repeats, by way of explanation.

"I didn't ask." Well. He hadn't. Not yet.

"You didn't ask _very loudly_." Beckett grimaces. Something breaks in her voice and he looks up sharply.

"Were you two involved?" He doesn't want to know. So much for _not asking_.

"We-" She stops, starts again. "We- Yes. No. I don't know." She tales a breath, glancing toward the door as if to check he's really gone. Her voice still catches when she starts again. "He was my training officer, and I thought- I thought he was great." Damn. He broke her heart, Rick can hear it in her voice. "Yeah- involved. I guess so. I mean- we never- he wouldn't cross _that_ line." That bitterness is in her voice again, that caustic edge something he wants to erase. "We spent the night together a couple of times. But we never- God. Why I am telling you this?"

Kate squeezes her eyes shut, like she's pushing back an image. "Kate-" Rick touches her arm, feather light, his finger tip tracing a line. He can feel the bones in her wrist. "Kate. Tell me or don't tell me, but don't hide it from me. Okay?" The image of another man's hands on Kate, her skin hot below someone else- the bite of jealousy is sudden and unpleasant. He pushes it back. This is about Kate, not his own issues.

She nods, eyes still closed, then opens her eyes. All the greener for the touch of red rimming them. God. All he wants is to kiss the tears away. And possibly beat the crap out of this Royce guy, who clearly didn't know how lucky he had it, to have Kate- Kate Beckett- in his orbit. Whatever. No. He should be down on bended knee thanking Royce, for leaving Kate the hell alone. "It doesn't matter," she tells him. "Seeing Royce just brought this up for me- when I told him about my mom, he was so _angry_ on my behalf. There was just this time, this fantasy I had- that he would be there for me, right through it all."

Castle rubs his face. "We'll work it out, Kate- this thing with your Mom."

"This _thing_?"

"Poor word choice," Rick concedes. "I just meant- well-"

"You don't have to worry," Kate interjects. "I know what you mean. But this isn't your fight, Castle. It's not up to you to bury yourself in this. I'm the only one who should-"

"Hey-" he catches her wrist again. "Nothing about this is _should_, Kate. You _shouldn't_ be doing this. You shouldn't have to either."

She nods, curtly, and shakes his hand off, standing up. "I think my lunch break is over," she tells him, and walks out before he can stop her.

* * *

Kate only gets a matter of steps from the diner before she dials Castle's number. "Still in the diner?" she asks, turning around.

"Yep. Trying to work out what happened."

"What do you think happened?"

"I think I scared my girl off."

She bites her lip. "Your girl's an idiot. Listen, Rick, I'm sorry. This isn't about you- it's not even about Mike, or my Mom." Kate opens the door to the diner, and walks back to the table she left Rick at. "I got another voicemail from my Dad this morning, and I'm kind of freaking out." She hangs up, and sits down.

Castle looks up at her. "Kate, do you trust me?"

Kate closes her eyes. "I want to, Rick. I really, really do. But- I don't trust anyone. This- this is new to me."

"I'm starting to get that."

Kate stares at him. "Mike and I were friends- and I trusted him." She shrugs, as if to say _look where that got me_ but she doesn't voice it. Besides. It got her here, didn't it? If she and Royce had actually made it into some kind of relationship, she wouldn't be sitting here with Rick now.

"Kate- about your Dad. Do you want me to call some places- see if we can find somewhere he can go for rehab?"

She shakes her head slowly. "You'd do that?"

"Of course."

_Of course. _Of course he would. She spent the evening before enveloped in Rick's world, and she's starting to understand that his warmth and his generosity are very much inherited traits. Martha had been nothing but kind and loving, and she'd taken Kate's presence in her stride, all the while showering love and affection on her granddaughter. "I don't know, Rick. I just don't know." She looks at her watch. _Shit_. She actually is late now. "I think I actually do have to go- I'm sorry."

He nods, and stands up with her. "I'll walk you back."

Kate smiles at him, takes his hand when he offers it. "Thanks."

* * *

When Rick gets home he starts researching rehab- he doesn't know where to start looking to be honest, it's not really anything he's had to research before. But, he figures if he treats it like any other book groundwork, he'll get it right. He thinks on it a bit, then recalls Gina telling him her cousin was in rehab. Right. Asking and following and pestering has always been much more his style than researching on a computer so he picks up the phone.

He takes the names of the two places Gina knows, and she's given him another phone number, another contact she has, and once again he's grateful that he seems to have managed to escape her colder side. Naturally during the course of the phone call Gina casually mentions the guy she's been seeing, and he's nothing but happy for her.

Later, when he's cooking dinner for Alexis, his phone rings.

"Hey Beckett." He guesses she's probably not coming over.

"Hey. I'm just on my way home."

"Back to your place."

"Yeah-" She's silent for a moment. "Long day, you know?"

He finds himself nodding, while he stirs the pasta sauce, before he remembers she can't see him. "Mmm. Listen, I called a few places today- rehab places."

He hears her sigh, and a soft, "Thank you. But let's leave it for the moment, okay? I don't want to get into this now."

"Sure."

"I was in Vice again this afternoon." He can practically hear her roll her eyes over the phone as she changes the subject, but he's suddenly got a reason to put the spoon down and step away into his office for a moment.

"Oh yeah? What were you wearing?"

"Seriously, Castle. What do you _think_ I was wearing?"

"Why Officer- you want to hear my fantasies?"

"Ugh! You're impossible. It was slutty. How can you possibly like slutty, Castle?"

"I don't like slutty, I like _you_. There's a big difference. Slutty Beckett, Pyjama Beckett- I want them all."

"Oh my God. Castle. I am not 32 favours of ice cream!"

"Oh! Good call. Ice Cream Beckett. That's going on my list. I want that one."

"Have a good night, Castle." She's fighting pretty hard to keep the laughter out of her voice and to maintain the facade of annoyance and he grins.

"Until tomorrow, Ice Cream Beckett." He hangs up with a smile on his face and sets the green phone back on its charger before heading back to the kitchen to make sure dinner isn't burning.

* * *

Kate's smiling as she walks up to her apartment. Her smile fades when she gets to her apartment door- the man slumped at the door is an all too familiar figure, though it's been a few years since she's found him on her doorstep. Royce and her father all in one day. She presses her fingertips to her eyelids. This is all too much.

She steps over him to unlock the door once she's ascertained that he's breathing, then shakes his arm to rouse him. He half comes to, allowing her to pull him inside. She's shaking her head sadly as he mumbles her name. "Katie?" What now? Kate wishes there was a manual for this, some kind of handbook. A how to deal with your alcoholic parent instruction booklet.

She takes the bottle that his hand has been tightly closed on, and walks to her kitchen sink, twisting open the lid and tipping the amber liquid down the sink. She looks around then, and finds a half empty bottle of wine on her counter, and most of a bottle of tequila. She tips those out too, but the decent unopened bottle of red that she has in a cupboard- she's saving that. She stalks into her bedroom, locking it in what she thinks of as her gun safe- it's not really a safe, just a locked drawer, but as long as the key is secure on her person she figures it will have to do.


	28. Chapter 28

_She takes the bottle that his hand has been tightly closed on, and walks to her kitchen sink, twisting open the lid and tipping the amber liquid down the sink. She looks around then, and finds a half empty bottle of wine on her counter, and most of a bottle of tequila. She tips those out too, but the decent unopened bottle of red that she has in a cupboard- she's saving that. She stalks into her bedroom, locking it in what she thinks of as her gun safe- it's not really a safe, just a locked drawer, but as long as the key is secure on her person she figures it will have to do._

* * *

What a day. Kate stomps back into the living room, furious. Seeing Royce, the fight with Rick, no matter how easily he seemed to forgive her. Working Vice- she changed back into jeans at the precinct before she left, but the eyeliner is still clumsy and she's dying for a shower. And now this. Her father has hauled himself onto her couch, and she figures if he can move himself from the floor he's probably alright- or closer to alright than she expected.

"Dad," she starts, still unsure what to say.

He looks at her with glassy eyes, as though he doesn't quite recognise her. "Katie?"

"Yeah, Dad, it's me," she tells him, as she goes to the sink and fills a glass with water, shoving it into his hands. "Drink this." She stands over him, watching him as he downs the water.

"Katie- how's your writer boyfriend? You still got him?"

In spite of herself, she laughs. He's going to ask about her love live, like he's a normal Dad, questioning his daughter? Like he has the right? "I haven't fucked it up yet."

"Katherine! Watch your language!"

"Seriously, Dad? You're sitting on my couch like _that_, and you've got a problem with me cursing?"

Jim nods as he silently concedes her point.

"I'm sorry," he tells her.

"Don't be sorry, Dad, just- what happened to A.A.? Why don't you see someone? A counsellor? Try rehab? Something?"

Her father doesn't reply, just buries his face in his hands. Kate shakes her head. She's asked these questions before.

"Have you eaten?" It's a stupid question, he obviously hasn't done anything but drink all day.

He shakes his head, and Kate opens a kitchen drawer full of take out menus. "I'm ordering in. Chinese okay?" She wonders what Rick's cooking this evening. She thinks she's eaten more home cooked meals in the last two months than in the whole of the last five years. If she'd just gone over to his place she never would have found her Dad on her doorstep. Huh. Is this the first time he's made his way here? That's something she's not going to venture to ask.

Kate dials for the Chinese take out- she'd normally get it delivered, but she wants to walk down to the corner, get some air. Jim's apparently fallen asleep again, so she grabs her purse and keys, figuring he won't miss her. On impulse, she stops at her bookshelf before she leaves the apartment. Old habits, and all, and she kind of wants something to hold onto. One of Castle's books is sticking out at an odd angle- _A skull at springtime_- so she puts it into her purse. Well, last time she'd used his book as a security blanket she'd met the man, so it can't hurt to hold on to something now, even just to walk down the street.

The cold wind whips through her hair as Kate steps out of her building. It's getting close to March but winter hasn't had its fun yet, she thinks. She wants to get away. Maybe she and Rick can go somewhere for a weekend- he's told her he has a place in the Hamptons, but she doesn't want to push for an invite. She's already pushed her way into his life, but maybe she needs to slow things down. She enters the Chinese restaurant, and is told her order will still be a moment. Kate sits, idly thumbing through her book.

Huh. The book. It wasn't where she left it. She remembers looking at the spine of this one a few weeks ago after Rick made fun of her for having read his worst book. Well. She guesses she shouldn't be surprised- he must have gone through her bookshelves to mess with her. Still, he hasn't been at her place more than twice, three times at most- Alexis keeps them pretty tied to his apartment. On a whim she opens the dedication page. Yep. Sure enough. A handwritten note scrawled there, a reference to the first book of hers he signed. She marvels at his patience, his ability to inscribe her book, weeks ago, probably, and then stay silent about it. Yet another part of the Richard Castle puzzle, the contradiction between patience and little kid joy that he exudes.

Her order is called, and she hands over a few notes and takes the bag. She feels like she's almost skipping on her way home. _Kate, I'm so glad you called. R._

* * *

The phone is ringing, loud and insistent, and he hesitates. This could be a trap. He chances a quick look into the office to survey his surroundings as best he can, before dashing from the safety of his bedroom into unprotected territory. He's been down this road before, answered his phone, only to find Alexis has called him from another room to set him up. But this time the caller ID tells him it's Kate on the other end.

"Hello?" he whispers.

"When did you write it?" Ha! She found the inscription. He hadn't expected to hear from Kate again this evening, so this is a pleasant surprise. He looks around, to try and hide himself, and he crouches behind his desk.

"Took you long enough," he replies, still trying to keep his voice low.

"Seriously, Castle? When? The first time you were at my place?"

"The next morning. After our first date."

"Wow." She's quiet, but he can hear the traffic in the background.

"Are you not home yet? I thought you were nearly there when we spoke before?"

"Oh. Yeah." She sighs. "I stepped out to pick up Chinese- my Dad's here, sleeping it off on my couch."

"Really? Is he okay? Are _you_ okay?"

"I'm okay," she confirms. "But I just tipped half a bottle of crappy scotch down my sink, and hid a bottle of red that I've been saving."

"Shit, Beckett." He doesn't know what to say. "Has he turned up at your place like that before?"

"A few years ago, he used to do this fairly often."

"I'm coming round, Kate."

"No," she protests. "It's fine. I've got this, Rick. And you've got Alexis. I'm just going to eat dinner, let him stay on the couch-"

"Really, I think I should come over."

He can hear the caution in her voice. "Rick? _Please_ don't. I don't want you to meet my Dad like this, okay?"

"Okay," he agrees, softly, wanting so much to have her in his arms again. There's a crash and a flash and bang, and his vest lights up. He's done.

"Gotcha!" Alexis cries from the doorway, glee written all over her face.

"What was _that_?" Kate asks him.

"Uh- nothing?"

"Hi Kate," Alexis shouts out behind him.

He makes a face at his daughter. "Alexis says hi," he tells Kate.

"What are you _doing_? Are you playing _hide and seek_?"

"Laser tag," he admits, grinning as he watches his daughter dance around the office.

Kate laughs. "I see." It doesn't take much imagination to picture her grin. "Hey, I'm at my door, I'm going to go, but Castle?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for signing my book."

She hangs up and Rick is left staring at his phone.

"Is Kate okay?" Alexis comes up behind him, startling him out of his reverie.

"Yeah, sweetie. She's just worried- her Dad is sick."

Alexis unwraps her vest, dumping it unceremoniously in his arms. "We should go visit her."

"_We _should, huh?"

"Uh-huh. Can we have another sleepover at Kate's house?"

"Not tonight," he tells her.

"Of course not tonight! Her Dad is sick." His daughter is looking at him like he's an idiot and he smiles at her, pulling her in for a hug.

"I don't know, pumpkin. I'd have to ask."

Alexis shrugs. "Anyway, we should visit Kate."

"How do you figure?"

"If you were sick, I wouldn't want to have to look after you by myself. So we should go over."

Rick considers it, and he's really close to agreeing, letting himself be swayed by his daughter, because what she's suggesting is exactly what he wants to do. But he shakes his head. No. Kate processes things differently to him. He needs to let her handle this. "Let's call her back, in a little while, and you can talk to her this time, before you go to bed, okay?"

* * *

Jim is snoring on the couch. He woke briefly to eat a mouthful of Chinese, before passing out again. Kate's not _overly_ worried- at this point he seems more exhausted than drunk, so she pulls his shoes off, and tucks a blanket over him, before retreating to the sanctity of her bedroom. Right. She needs a game plan. This can't go on, and looking at her father- he'd looked so desperate sitting there on her couch- she's pretty sure he's at the end of his tether too. Kate opens her laptop to research her next step- but she remembers that Rick told her he'd started looking into it, so she figures she'll ask him tomorrow. She won't call him again tonight, it's been a big day- but her phone rings, and sure enough, the caller ID shows Rick. When she picks up she's both surprised and pleased to hear Alexis' little voice on the other end.

Over the phone the girl sounds younger than her nine years, and oh so cute when she shyly asks Kate if she's okay. Kate grins, and assures her she is. When Alexis passes the phone over to her father, Rick apologises for bothering her. "She really wanted to check on you," he tells Kate.

"Sure. Blame the nine year old." They hang up again after Castle promises to email the names of the rehab places he found. Kate falls into a restless sleep- torn between the comfort she feels at being part of Rick's life, Alexis' life, and the tumult she finds her in her relationship with her father.

* * *

**A/N: **

**I have a ridiculous number of _favourites_ and _follows_ and _reviews_- so grateful- and so close to an even 300- so if you can tip me over the edge there... *hints***

**Seriously. Thanks for reading. **


	29. Chapter 29

_Over the phone the girl sounds younger than her nine years, and oh so cute when she shyly asks Kate if she's okay. Kate grins, and assures her she is. When Alexis passes the phone over to her father, Rick apologises for bothering her. "She really wanted to check on you," he tells Kate._

_"Sure. Blame the nine year old." They hang up again after Castle promises to email the names of the rehab places he found. Kate falls into a restless sleep- torn between the comfort she feels at being part of Rick's life, Alexis' life, and the tumult she finds in her relationship with her father._

* * *

The day dawns bright and clear, and the sun shines in through Kate's windows. It's a stark contrast to the tight ball of dread currently knotted in Kate's gut. She prolongs the moment before getting out of bed, steeling herself for the day ahead and the conversations she's going to have to have. She pulls her robe tightly around herself and makes her way into the kitchen. At least she can start the day with coffee. Her cupboards aren't too badly stocked either- she's been shamed into buying a few boxes of breakfast cereal for fear of Rick calling her out on her bad habits again, so at least she and her father won't be relegated to eating last night's leftover Chinese for breakfast.

Jim is already up, and he's put the coffee on. Small mercies, she thinks, as she pours herself a cup before addressing him. "How's your head."

He winces. "Sorry doesn't really cut it anymore, does it?"

She shakes her head and sips the coffee, wordlessly taking bowls from the cupboard and setting cereal and milk down next to them. Kate pours them both a bowl and pushes one towards her father.

He raises his eyebrows and accepts it. "My head, huh? It's felt better, and it's felt worse."

"Uh huh." Kate's tight lipped.

"Tell me, Kate, are you still investigating?"

"I'm kind of holding out, for the moment. Not much I can do at this point while I'm still a uniform." She shakes her head. "Why?"

"I keep saying I'm going to clean up. And it never lasts. But I'm done, Kate. I can't live like this anymore. Can you?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You still got all that stuff, Kate? The file?"

She nods.

"Can you get rid of it? Stop looking for answers?"

"Why would you ask me that?" There's a tiny part of Kate that knows. They're both addicted. His addiction is easier to handle, in some ways. Tip the evidence down the sink. Short of quitting her job, Kate's always going to be somewhere in the orbit of homicide, just a step away from solving the case.

"I've seen you, you know." Jim's eating his cereal, looking at his bowl and spoon like his life depends on it. "I know I'm not the only one. But you have to let it go, too. Stop looking, Katie. It'll kill you too. You can't bring her back."

"God! Dad." She raises her voice without even noticing. "I know that! I know, okay?"

"Do you, Katie?" He regards her for the first time. "I want to help you-"

"You?" She practically spits it at him. "How can you help me? Really. How can _you_ help _me_?"

Jim shakes his head sadly. "I can't. Not like this. I have to try something new, I just don't know what."

"A.A. Can you try A.A. again?"

"I don't think that's enough. Too much God."

Kate's staring into her coffee. They've gone around in circles like this for years. She wants to believe that he's ready to change. She does believe it, a little bit, every time. And every time her heart breaks just a little more. "We have the names of a few rehab places-"

"_We_?"

Kate blushes, ignores the point he was making. "Yeah. Well. I was talking to Rick, and his publisher knows someone, had somewhere to recommend." She bites her lip. "I don't know how it works, Dad. Maybe your health insurance covers something?"

"Don't worry about that. Just- give me the numbers. I'll call them, find out what I have to do." He looks at her. "You working today?"

"Tonight. I'm on nights for a week, starting tonight."

"Tell you what. I'm going to go home. Get changed. I'm going to make a few calls, and meet you back here in a few hours, okay?"

As he shuffles out, she stands at her doorway, watching him make his way down the hall. When he reaches the staircase, she calls out to him. "Dad?" He turns back to her. "I haven't looked at the file properly since January." She sees the surprise on his face and shuts her door before he can verbalise a response.

* * *

Jim is as good as his word, and he comes back a few hours later. While he was gone she had taken the box from under the bed, spread all the papers out across the covers. Maybe he's right. Kate doesn't know. She hasn't so much as taken this box out from under her bed since the night Alexis stayed, and even then, she hadn't really spent time looking through it. And maybe she shouldn't now. Maybe the past should stay buried. The thing is, she's sure they're missing something. Surely there are some papers that were missed at her mother's office? The autopsy report seems so clear cut, but maybe there's something there. She stares at the papers until her Dad knocks on the door. She hastily stuffs everything back into the box guiltily, and goes to the door.

She misses this man. Right now her father looks well dressed and in control. Nothing like the man who dragged himself out of here a few hours ago. She wonders what caused the change- a shower, a fresh change of clothes and some resolve? Or has he found himself some dutch courage? Jim catches her watching him. "No more, Katie," he tells her, and she looks away, chastened. Okay then. He's clean. Or as clean as he can be, since surely yesterday's train wreck of a day is yet to leave his system.

"Can I stay here?" He asks here. "Just this week?" It can't be easy for him to ask that, and Kate nods. This time? Maybe.

"Of course." She wonders what his plan is.

Jim clears his throat. "I- um- I called a couple of those places." Well. She didn't think he'd really call, not really. He looks older than his years, and for the millionth time she wonders what they ever did to deserve this horror that has rained down on their lives. Her mother used to tell them the universe would only give someone a burden they could carry, and she'd grown up believing that, but now? She can't carry this. "I'm going in on Wednesday," he tells her. "Maybe I can stay here, until then, and then you can drive me in?"

"Okay." She nods, slowly. "Okay." Kate tries to work out the logistics in her head. "Do you need me to call into work?"

"What? No, oh, no, Kate. I don't want to disrupt your life. I just- I can't make it to Wednesday if I stay at my own place-"

It's Friday now. Five more days. Okay. Kate takes a deep breath. She can do this. _They_ can do this. She's on nights from tonight, she'll stay here with her Dad during the day. "Okay. But Dad- _promise_ me we're going there on Wednesday. Promise me."

* * *

On Wednesday, Kate's head is pounding. She's gotten off the night shift, and she's exhausted. Her last night shift for a few weeks, and all she wants to do is sleep, but she needs to drive her Dad upstate. Rick had offered to take them, but she'd shaken her head. "I have to do this," she'd told him, the one time she'd seen him during the week. She'd sort of tried avoiding him, but even though she wouldn't let him come over and meet her Dad, she'd been helpless to let too many hours go between phone calls and texts. He'd met her on Monday morning at seven in the morning when she got off shift, Alexis in tow, and they'd had a coffee before she went back home to check on her Dad. Amazing man, she'd thought. Dragging himself and his daughter out of bed to snatch a half hour with her before Alexis went to school and Kate went home to sleep.

But last night's patrol, combined with a sleepless night- ugh. Kate swallows down some Tylenol, and shakes her father awake. Her one bedroom is way too small to have an extra person sleeping on the couch for close to a week. Silently the two of them ride the subway over to her Dad's apartment, and he hands her the keys to his car. "Use it as much as you like," he tells her, but she knows she won't. Spring is here, and once the cold really says its goodbye for the year she'll pull her bike out of storage and zip around the city on that. She smirks, wondering what Castle will say when he finds out she has a motorcycle. She doubts he'll be able to handle the sight of her in tight black leather, and it makes her grin as she imagines messing with him, just a little.

The drive upstate is an easy run, and they find the place easily. Kate parks the car, and moves to open her door. "Stay here," Jim tells her. "No need to walk me in." He regards her with sad eyes, and reaches into the backseat to grab his bag, hoisting it over his shoulder before opening the passenger door.

"Good luck." Kate bites her lip. It's a stupid thing to say, but she can't think of thing else, can't find any other words to force past her lips.

Her Dad unbuckles the watch she gave him when she was eighteen. Her Mom had helped her pick it out. "Take it."

He holds it out to her, and she shakes her head, makes a move as though to push it away. "No, Dad, I can't- I gave that to you. It's yours."

"No. Take it. My daughter gave it to me. She can give it back to me when I've earned it." He pushes the watch into her hands, and she closes her fist over it wordlessly, as the tears roll down her cheeks. "I'm no father to you anymore, Katie. Take it, and give it back to me when I'm your father again." She looks down and unclasps the thin band of the watch she's currently wearing, then works the buckle into the last hole of the heavy band. It catches, and by the time she's done, her father has stepped out of the car and shut the door. She looks back up, only to see her father's retreating back walking away.

Kate watches her father for a moment longer, until he reaches the doors and opens them, entering the building without a backwards glance. Then she lowers her head to the steering wheel and cries.

* * *

Dinner again at the loft, and Kate is distracted, barely keeping up with Alexis' chatter. She just wants- quiet. She's walked back to her own place, from her Dad's instead of taking the subway when she'd taken his car back to his building. Unable to sleep, she'd gone back to the precinct to take advantage of the gym there. She'd beaten the heck out of the punching bag, then finally gone back to her own apartment and stared into space until it was time to meet Rick. She's been looking forward to getting over here for the whole of the week her Dad stayed, holding out for Wednesday, but now it's finally here and she just feels empty. She wants to go- be alone- run a bath- read a book. Anywhere but here. She feels bad, tries to make an effort for Alexis, but she feels like she's drowning, and she looks desperately at Rick.

"Sweetheart," he tells Alexis. "Kate's not feeling too well. How about we keep your stories at indoor voice level?"

"Are you okay?" Alexis turns to Kate, all sweet concern in her blue eyes, and Kate feels like a bitch. She's miserable and she's taking her mood out on a kid. She tells herself to keep it together, and she nods at Alexis.

"I'm okay, thanks, Alexis. Just a headache." The headache part isn't a lie.

Rick guides Kate into his bedroom after dinner, and as they pass the laden bookshelves in his office Kate is thrown again by who she's with. Her Mom really would love this. She needs to keep her head. She's lost her Mom, and as awful as today feels, she knows that this is her chance to get her Dad back.

"How was your day? Castle, I haven't even asked you what you've been doing!"

He smiles. "A bit hard, at dinner- Alexis didn't really let us get a word in."

"Still."

"I wrote- sent off the last of my edits on _Storm_ to my publishers. They'll send me back some corrections, but it means I'm done with that- and I can really start on the _Nikki Heat_-"

"_Heat_? Are you kidding me?"

"Oh- I didn't tell you her last name before, did I?" Castle's eyes are dancing, and she thinks she's going to kill him. Well. There goes the momentary fascination with his celebrity. She's feeling like shit and he's laughing at her.

"No. You didn't. God! Why do you have to write about me?" He's obviously a self-entitled jackass with no respect for her or her job.

"Well- _based_ on you- it won't be _about you_ until you let me visit you at work and spend a few days on a case with you-"

"No. No. Are you kidding? Besides- everyone _knows_ about you now. My _boss_ has known who I'm dating for a few months? That's- it's not good, Castle."

"Kate-" he motions her toward the bed. "Stop thinking so much. Please." She sighs. She's getting worked up about this, and it's not fair to Rick. It's not his fault- well, okay, it is- but it's not _entirely_ his fault that he's so into this.

_Shit_. She shakes her head. "No. No. Absolutely not. Never going to happen, Castle. What about a CIA agent?"

"What?"

"Wouldn't it be better to write about a CIA Agent? Rather than an NYPD cop, I mean? Expand your Clara Strike character. Or what- let me guess- she's based on a real CIA Agent that you pissed off too?"

His mouth falls open.

_Shit_. "Shit. I'm right. I'm right, aren't I?"

He shrugs. "Sort of, but it was different- ugh-"

Kate spins around, stalks into the bathroom and shuts the door behind her. The moment the door shuts behind her she's mortified. She should have gone home when she had the chance. She's horrible company, and now she's deliberately picking a fight with Rick, like she's willing him to kick her out, being an asshole on purpose. She leans against the wall beside the door and closes her eyes as her head hits the cool tiles, hot tears prickling at her eyelids.

He knocks on the door, and she reaches out and opens it without stepping away from the wall. He steps into her, right into her space, her legs fitting into the space between his, and his arms around her. Kate can't move, and she doesn't want to. "Fuck," she whispers. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know- I didn't mean-" She stops, and he draws back and looks at her, wipes away the tear that is rolling down her cheek. "I don't cry," she tells him, and it's a plea. "This isn't me."

"Hey…" He's shushing in her ear, and stroking her hair, and she finds herself rolling her eyes at herself. Seriously. This could be the best thing to ever happen to her, and she's messing it up, sabotaging herself before it can begin. "Kate? You took your Dad to rehab today. It's okay. It's going to be okay."

Kate looks at Rick. "Can we start the night again?"

He nods, eagerly. "Kate. Come to bed. Sleep." He presses a kiss to her cheek, and she relaxes against him.

"Or…" She nods in the direction of his tub. She's been dying to get into it, it looks one hundred times more comfortable than her own. "Bubble bath?" She bites her lip, and he laughs.

"Bubble bath." He takes her hand and steps over to the tub, and turns on the taps.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for the many many reviews last chapter- turns out all I had to do was indulge in a little shameless begging ;) It's appreciated! **


	30. Chapter 30

_Kate looks at Rick. "Can we start the night again?"_

_He nods, eagerly. "Kate. Come to bed. Sleep." He presses a kiss to her cheek, and she relaxes against him._

"_Or… bubble bath?" She bites her lip, and he laughs._

"_Bubble bath." He takes her hand and steps over the bath, turning the taps._

* * *

The next couple of weeks go much more smoothly, and Rick is thankful for small mercies. He felt like he'd barely spoken to Kate the week her father stayed, and Alexis had missed her too. Once she's spoken to her father a few times she seems to start to believe that he might just stick it out in rehab, and she starts to loosen up a little. It doesn't go unnoticed that she's wearing a different watch, and that she lays it down on the dresser each night with the same reverence that she reserves for her Mom's ring.

He manages to get his Mother to stay overnight with Alexis twice, and so he takes Kate out for a real date one night. They go out for dinner, and to a club after. Truth be told, he feels a little too old for most clubs these days, but dancing with Kate is a treat, and he can see the attraction, after all, when they're on the dance floor, pressed close together. They finish the night at a small bar near her place, and he revels in her closeness as they sit tight against one another in the booth. She surprises him with her choice of tequila, but as she licks the salt from his hand instead of her own he suddenly becomes quite the fan of the liquor. Hot. He may have promised Kate that their _personal_ personal life won't find its way inside the pages of the Nikki Heat- but this? _This_ is going in.

Rick stays in with her in her apartment the second time Martha has Alexis. He's seen Kate help him cook at his place, but only when he's already planned the meal. This is different, and as Kate pulls together an amazing chicken dish, he's impressed. Huh. She _really_ can cook. They've started watching movies together, and he's starting to get a handle on her eclectic taste. He only lets her choose every second movie though- for every action movie she chooses, the next is always a rom-com, and there are only so many of those he can handle. "But you like romance," she tells him, surprised, when he disses her choice.

"You've forfeited your right to choose movies for the rest of the week," he tells her. "And I do like romance. But these movies? Not cool." Then again, she likes _Temptation Lane_, and _Nebula 9_, so there's just no accounting for taste and he's just glad she likes his books as much as she does. Obviously her taste in books in far superior to her taste in film and television.

Another night, he has to attend a book launch party- it's not his own book on show, the last _Storm_ is still a few months away from print, but Rick's contracted to appear at a certain number of Black Pawn parties. They're promoting a newer author, and he's actually happy to attend- Black Pawn's been good to him over the years, and he wants the newer authors to have the same opportunities that he's had. To his surprise Kate agrees to come, as long as he promises he won't introduce her as his muse. He agrees, but when he looks at the guest list, he thinks she actually has ulterior motives for attending. Rick's pretty sure he's her favourite author, but she does own an awful lot of crime fiction, and she'll be rubbing shoulders with quite a few writers at the event.

His mother wrangles an invite for the event as well, so he's forced to get Katrina in to babysit. "_Why_?" He asks her with a note of desperation in his voice.

Martha just shrugs mysteriously. When the evening comes, and he loses sight of Kate for a moment, only to see her again across the room, being introduced to Gina, he could slap himself for being so stupid. He sees the flash of recognition in their eyes, the caution in Kate's body language and the edge to the hard look Gina gives his girlfriend. _Fuck_. And then he sees Martha swan in, and say something- he can't hear her from where he's standing, but she looks to have defused the situation. Okay. Turns out he's glad his mother is there after all. "Darling," his Mother whispers pointedly in his ear, later.

"Thank you?" He grimaces at her, and she laughs.

"Oh Rick, it was fine, really. Kate's a strong young woman, she would have been fine."

"Don't think I've forgotten that it was you who introduced me to Gina, Mother."

"And she's an excellent publisher, Richard. You should be grateful." Martha shimmies off, to find another drink, or chat up one of the many eligible men in the room- Rick doesn't want to know which.

When he finds Kate and tears her away from intense conversation with one of the other authors for a dance he subdues his jealousy, considering he inadvertently put his girlfriend and Gina in the same room. "Sorry," he whispers in her ear.

"A little warning would have been nice," she grumbles, but obviously Gina wasn't deliberately bitchy, or otherwise Kate really can hold her own.

"What did she say?"

"That she remembered me. Then your mother swooped in, and thanked Gina for being such a great publisher for you." She shrugs. "It doesn't matter, Rick."

"For what it's worth, I really am sorry," he tells her again.

Kate shakes her head. "It doesn't matter, Castle. Just dance with me, okay? And try not to run me into any of your other exes anytime soon, okay?"

* * *

"So. This weekend."

Rick nods. "Yeah. It'll be Monday before we know it."

"Yeah." She leans into him to kiss him. She's really going to miss him. Never mind that they got out of bed half an hour ago- her body is telling her she won't make it through the next three days without this man, and the way he's pressing back into her, he's obviously feeling the same way, as his hands thread their way into her hair.

"Ew," comes Alexis' voice from the staircase, and she blushes as she pulls away from Rick and meets his daughter's eyes.

"Sorry," she whispers, not quite sure if she's apologising to Rick or Alexis. "Right. Well, that's my cue- I'm going to work, and I will see you guys on Monday, okay?"

Alexis skips across the living room to give Kate a hug.

"Remember what we talked about last night?" Kate asks her. Alexis nods, but she's clutching Monkey-Bunkey a little too tightly, Kate thinks. She kneels down to the girl. "Anytime you get scared in the flight, you just hold your Dad's hand, okay? But mostly- it's okay to be scared, but just remember that the pilots fly their planes all the time. They're real experts, okay?" Alexis' fears of flying had apparently come up out of the blue, with Castle assuring her Alexis had been fine with flying last time they went away.

"Okay." Alexis looks at her with wide eyes. "I wish you were coming too, Kate."

Kate grins. Much as she'd like to get out of the city for the weekend, meeting Castle's ex-wife isn't high on her priority list right now. Running into Gina the week before last was more than enough, and Castle had only gone out with her a handful of times. "Me too," she lies. "But I have to work. Next time, huh?" She kisses Alexis on the cheek, and presses another kiss to Castle's mouth. "Now, you two- go finish packing."

Kate rides the elevator down to the ground floor, wrapping her cotton scarf around her neck in anticipation of light spring winds outside. She loves the season changes in the city, the hope she feels when the snow starts to melt. Every day has the possibility for joy, she reminds herself. Three days without Castle. She can do it.

* * *

Kate texts Lanie on Friday afternoon, after she hears from Castle that he and Alexis have made it to L.A. She hates being that girl, who only calls her girlfriends when their boyfriend is out of town, but she and Lanie didn't really become friends until after she got together with Castle, so it's not like she's breaking any time honoured rituals between herself and the M.E.

Lanie, of course, already has plans with a big group including Hunter, but she insists that Beckett join her at the bar where she's meeting them. Kate's been running down paperwork for Jones all day, but she hasn't seen the inside of interrogation, and neither has she been at the scene. After a desk heavy day she's more than ready to get out of there, and kick back over a few drinks.

Veronica Hunter waves when she enters the bar, and Kate grins. Lanie's wrapped around some guy, she thinks at first it's Esposito, and she figures she won't really be hanging out with Lanie after all. She's pleasantly surprised when Lanie untangles herself, and again surprised to see the guy is someone she doesn't know, after all. Lanie shoos the guy off to get them some drinks, and Kate leans in to her friend. "What happened to Esposito?"

Lanie just laughs. "What can I say? Something better came along." Kate grins.

Lanie's guy comes back with a drink for Lanie, and another for Kate, and she accepts it with thanks. When Lanie turns back to the guy, Hunter squeezes her arm with a grin. "Haven't seen you in Vice much lately."

"Homicide's got me at the moment," she confirms.

"Lucky you," Hunter tells her. "I am up to my ears in slime. And my eyes-" she points at her face. "I might as well get this make up tattooed on, since it never seems to come off." Kate nods sympathetically and sips her drink. Hunter notices someone else she knows, and excuses herself for a second, and Kate is left alone.

She's just looking around, trying to remember how to do this, when a guy comes up. She thinks she remembers seeing him before. He introduces himself, offering her his hand. "Will."

She takes his hand. "Kate. Nice to meet you." She remembers now. Lanie had pointed him out, told her he was checking her out. "You're not a cop, are you?" There's something about him that just doesn't ring quite true as NYPD.

"Nope. FBI. But my buddy over there-" he points to some indeterminate guy- "is friends with Lanie." _Well. Of course. Everyone is friends with Lanie_, she thinks. He grins at her, and she has to admit, he is kind of cute. "Now, I know feds and cops don't always get along, but can I buy you a drink?" She wonders if he's flirting with her, or just being friendly.

Kate holds out the still full glass that Lanie's guy got her. "I'm okay, thanks."

He nods. "Next time, then." His interest is unmistakable as he steps closer, but before she can step back, Kate's phone buzzes in her pocket, and she smiles at him, and excuses herself as she ducks out of the bar to get somewhere quieter to take the call.

"Hey Castle."

"Hey Beckett. Miss me yet?"

"It's only been-" she looks at her watch- "twelve hours since I saw you."

"Yes. A very long twelve hours." He lowers his voice. "We've been with Meredith since midday and let me tell you- this day is never going to end."

"A little dramatic, don't you think?"

"Oh, come on Beckett. There's a time difference, you know? We still have to have dinner- if I don't kill her first. You work for homicide, you could get me off the charges, right?"

She laughs. "Not my jurisdiction, Castle. How's Alexis?"

"She's okay- it's odd- for such a sensible kid, she actually really loves to shop, so she and Meredith are getting along fine. And burning my credit card has always been one of Meredith's secret super powers, so…"

"Huh. Yeah. Sounds awful, to be honest."

"Really? I would have pegged you as a shopaholic- all those jackets and shoes, Kate." He sounds disbelieving.

"Don't let them fool you. I like having them, not the act of buying them."

"What are you doing now? At home?"

"On a Friday night?" She laughs again. "No, out with Lanie and Veronica. Actually-" it's Kate's turn to lower her voice. "I think I was just being hit on though."

"Should I be jealous?"

"No, not my type-"

"Oh yeah? Tell me about your type, Officer…"

Kate grins. "I'm going to go now- let you get back to your glamorous L.A. life."

"Kate," he whines.

"Hey, Castle, want to know something?"

"What's that?"

"I miss you." She hangs up before either of them can prolong the goodbye, and heads back inside, smile still on her lips.

Will looks like he's waiting for her, and she smiles wryly at him. "Boyfriend?" he asks, nodding at the phone still in her hand.

Kate nods. She's been avoiding labels, but she can't figure out why anymore. "Yeah."

"Too bad," Will tells her, smiling back nevertheless. Before Kate can say anything else, Lanie appears at her side, and pulls her onto the dance floor, and later in the evening, she sees Will and Hunter sitting pressed close to one another. Huh. She guesses she didn't break any hearts after all.


	31. Chapter 31

"_I miss you." She hangs up before either of them can prolong the goodbye, and heads back inside._

_Will looks like he's waiting for her, and she smiles wryly at him. "Boyfriend?" he asks, nodding at the phone still in her hand. _

_Kate nods. "Yeah."_

"_Too bad," Will tells her, smiling back nevertheless. Before Kate can say anything else, Lanie appears at her side, and pulls her onto the dance floor, and later in the evening, she sees Will and Hunter sitting pressed close to one another. Huh. She guesses she didn't break any hearts there._

* * *

On Saturday morning Kate has a splitting headache. Not fair, after only two martinis, she thinks, but she pops some Tylenol and heads into the precinct, her headache fading by the time she's got a coffee in hand. They get a call around eleven and she's searching for evidence within the hour, picking through a dingy apartment with a couple of other uniforms. She's sorry to see Perlmutter- well, everyone's always sorry to see Perlmutter- because she'd rather chat to Lanie and without her friend there, and neither Jones or Mackenzie running point on this investigation, she's relegated to grunt work.

It's not all bad though. When Veronica Hunter arrives, the Officer points at her eyes. "I had to ask to be reassigned from Vice today. And I'm relieved, I tell you," she assures Kate as they tuck cigarette butts into evidence bags. "I swear to God I am allergic to all that make up and those cheap clothes they make you wear in Vice."

"Your eyes do look a little tired," she agrees, figuring it's her turn to mess with Hunter. "Late night?"

Hunter smirks. "Wouldn't you like to know, Beckett?" Kate raises her eyebrows, but says nothing, and Hunter giggles.

During the afternoon Hunter and Beckett both find themselves burning through paperwork for the detectives. At some point MacKenzie swings into the bullpen, and she joins him in interrogation for a while. Hunter shoots her a dirty look, but there's not really any malice in it, so Beckett doesn't take it to heart the way she once might have.

Once she's back at her desk beside Hunter she takes her cell phone from the drawer. "That your boyfriend, Beckett?"

"What?" She glances at the grinning woman beside her.

Hunter shakes her head in mock disgust. "Seriously. I thought that thing was never going to stop buzzing."

Kate checks the phone. Well, texts from Castle make a nice change from the litany of voicemails from her father in the weeks before he went into rehab. He's left four messages, each recounting his day of shopping with Meredith and Alexis, finished with the assurance that he misses her. She frowns.

Hunter frowns at her. "Everything okay?"

"I'm fine." She turns from Hunter as if regrouping to throw herself into her paperwork. For the first time Kate feels a pang of discomfort. He says he misses her, and she believes him, and it's not that she doesn't trust Rick, because she does. But she doesn't know Meredith and he's across the country visiting with his ex-wife. Maybe she shouldn't have messed with him last night, telling him some guy was hitting on her. It's not the most comfortable of situations. She sighs, and heads into the break room to call him back.

At four thirty, they're both officially off duty, and Hunter dashes off. Reading between the lines of the few snippets Hunter's given her today, she thinks the other Officer has a date with Will. Well, she's happy for them both, and she feels better now she's spoken to Castle, but since he's in L.A. she doesn't have plans tonight. Instead of leaving when her shift ends, Kate ends up staying at the precinct running theory with both MacKenzie and Montgomery until the early hours of the morning.

* * *

Kate had told Rick she would meet him at the airport when he spoke to her on Saturday afternoon, but he insisted she should just meet him at his apartment, . Now he and Alexis are nearly back to the loft after a turbulent flight, he lets himself relax. Alexis had slept cuddled up with Monkey Bunkey in the car from the airport back to his place, wiped out from the weekend and the flight. She'd thrown up during the flight, then cried, mortified, poor thing, and he wishes Meredith had come to New York and saved him the trouble of dragging his daughter across the country.

Meredith had mostly been okay, but she'd kicked up a fuss when he'd told her at dinner on Friday night that he and Alexis were staying at a hotel. Alexis had gone to the bathroom and Rick had brought it up. She'd protested, and he'd relented, to a point. "Look, _Alexis_ can stay with you," he told her. "And I'll just stay at the hotel by myself."

She'd pouted. "No- both of you." He had sighed. Even Alexis on her rare sulky days wasn't this childish. "Come on, Rick, it'll be like _old_ times." Meredith had leaned forward and whispered in his ear. "We used to have _so_ much fun!" She'd rested her hand on his shoulder in move he found unpleasantly possessive, and cocked her head as though he would surely give in, and he'd shaken his head again, figuring he should just be straight with her.

"Meredith, I'm seeing someone. Back home. In New York."

And at that, Meredith had just giggled. "So I gather, Rick. Kate, am I right?" He'd looked at her, open mouthed in shock. "Oh, come on! Alexis hasn't stopped talking about her- this- cop?" And winking at him, she'd laughed again. "Really, Rick? A _cop_?"

He'd closed his eyes, briefly. "Yes. She's a cop." He'd shrugged. Like it mattered what Meredith thought.

Meredith had shrugged too, entirely unconcerned. "Listen, Rick. I'm sure she's great- but we both know you and I both have been seeing people before, and it never gets in the way of us having some fun."

He'd scratched his head. She wasn't wrong. "It's different, this time, okay? It's serious."

"Yes, it must be, for Alexis to have met her-" Meredith's biting tone had been interrupted when Alexis returned to the table. Rick had taken the opportunity to pick up the bill, and he'd whisked Alexis out of there, practically pushing Meredith into a cab instead of driving her back to her place in the car he had hired.

When the elevator doors open, Rick's got a backpack on his back, a shoulder bag across his body, a suitcase behind him and is propelling a sleepy nine year old ahead of him. And his girlfriend is standing in the hall, leaning back against his door. Damn. He's kicking himself for not insisting that she take a key. At the sight of Kate, Alexis lights up and rushes forward, throwing her arms around the surprised cop. "I missed you _so_ much, Kate," she exclaims, all bubbles and light and nothing like the crying child he'd had to contend with on the plane.

Kate grins and hugs the girl back. "I missed you too, sweetie," she tells the girl, kissing her hair before turning to Rick and folding herself into him.

He kisses her mouth, briefly, before wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her hair. He inhales deeply and he feels her relax. "Missed you," he whispers, before stepping back and digging his apartment keys out of his pocket, and letting them into the loft. _God_, he thinks, _coming home feels good_.

* * *

"I _tried_ to be brave," Alexis tells her.

"Oh yeah?" Kate meets Rick's eyes over Alexis' head, and he nods.

"What happened?" she asks the girl.

"I held Dad's hand, _and_ hugged Monkey Bunkey _and_ tried to think good thoughts-"

"It was _really_ bumpy, Alexis," Rick interrupts. Kate looks up at him, really seeing him this time. He looks as tired as his daughter.

"-But I threw up," Alexis finishes.

Kate shrugs and hugs the red head. "It happens, Alexis." She looks helplessly at Rick.

"Have you eaten?" he asks her, instead.

She nods. "Uh-huh. Real food and everything. You?"

"Yeah. On the plane." He looks at his daughter. "What about you, pumpkin? Do you want something to eat yet?"

Alexis shakes her head. "No."

"Well then." Rick wiggles his eyebrows at Alexis, and she giggles. Kate watches, feeling like she's missing something. He stands up and heads back to the door where he has left the bags. "Presents! Or, rather- present!" Kate's eyes widen. Is he kidding? "Don't look so worried, Beckett! Alexis and I just got you a little something while we were shopping."

"We did a lot of shopping," Alexis tells her seriously. She is nodding along enthusiastically with her father, still enveloped in Kate's arms. Kate finds herself wondering what she's done to deserve this. It should freak her out- she's twenty four, so being in a relationship with a thirty four year old who has a nine year old- that's almost too much. Yet, somehow it doesn't.

Rick unzips the suitcase dramatically, and pulls out a bag, presenting it to her with a flourish. Alexis scoots over, giving Kate the use of her arms again so she can open the bag and unwrap the tissue paper, revealing a jacket. A _nice_ jacket. Wow. It's leather, and red, and butter soft- and she loves it. "Oh- wow- Rick- Alexis-" Great. She's lost for words again. This is too much. Her mind flashes back to the night she met Castle. _Willyousignmybook_ she'd squeaked. Okay. Now she's freaking out. Kate shakes her head slowly, smiling, trying to push the jacket back towards Rick. "I can't- it's too much-"

Rick seems to read her mind- "You can and you will, and it's not."

"Try it on!" Alexis claps her hands together, altogether a different kid to the sleepy girl who'd been so miserable when she'd recounted her story about throwing up on the plane. "I chose the colour!" So Kate wrinkles her nose at Rick and stands up and tries on the red leather jacket. There's no mirror, but she can tell by the way it feels that it fits perfectly, and she can tell by the way Rick is looking at her that it looks good.

"Can't wear this with my uniform," she teases them.

"Good Detective jacket though, right?" Castle's grinning, and she bites her lip. Damn. If he keeps being this charming she'll probably end up inviting him on a ride along when she actually makes Detective in spite of herself. He leans in to her and whispers in her ear. "You look hot, _Detective_."

She rolls her eyes at him, and kisses him, grateful again to be part of this. 'Thank you," she tells him seriously. She turns to Alexis. "Thank you too, Alexis."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks everyone- we've got four or five chapters to go!**


	32. Chapter 32

_Kate wrinkles her nose at Rick and stands up and tries on the red leather jacket. There's no mirror, but she can tell by the way it feels that it fits perfectly, and she can tell by the way Rick is looking at her that it looks good. _

"_Can't wear this with my uniform," she teases them._

"_Good Detective jacket though, right?" Castle's grinning, and she bites her lip. Damn. If he keeps being this charming she'll probably end up inviting him on a ride along when she actually makes Detective in spite of herself. He leans in to her and whispers in her ear. "You look hot, _Detective_."_

_She rolls her eyes at him, and kisses him, grateful again to be part of this. 'Thank you," she tells him seriously. She turns to Alexis. "Thank you too, Alexis."_

* * *

They don't manage to get Alexis into bed until after midnight. She alternates between sleepy and excited, and then hungry sets in after all. Rick makes her toast, refusing her request for waffles with ice cream- he's taught her well, but at eleven at night there's only so much even he's okay with- and gives her flat soda, refusing her (out of character) request for coke. Kate makes tea for them both, and they drink it while they watch Alexis eat. Kate's eyes keep straying to her new jacket, folded on the end of the sofa. It was a good call, getting that, even if Meredith had given him a _look_ when he and Alexis had emerged from the store, bag in hand.

Kate's legs are tucked up under her, and his daughter has once again found her way to Kate, cuddling in to his girlfriend. Huh. The entire weekend with Meredith, and Alexis hadn't once cuddled up to her own mother. She'd hugged her in greeting, yes, and again when they'd left, and accepted Meredith's kisses, but she'd never sought out any contact herself. Alexis is an affectionate kid, always has been, with him, with Martha, and until this last visit, with her Mom, and he wonders if he should be worried. But Alexis seems so comfortable, and Kate looks totally at ease, running a hand through his daughter's hair, so he figures he'll take their lead.

When Rick and Kate finally make it to his bedroom, he's exhausted. "Sorry," he tells Kate, shaking his head as he collapses backwards onto the bed. _Some reunion_, he thinks, because truly, it feels like it's been more than three days, and in his head he wants to undress Kate slowly, and _really _take her to bed, but in reality, it's just not going to happen.

Kate laughs softly. "Oh, Castle. My day was long too." She neglects to elaborate, just sprawls out on the bed, unable or unwilling to take even her jeans off. He pulls them off her roughly, then takes his own off, pushing her aside to pull the covers over them.

"What's with you lying _on_ the bed instead of _in_ the bed?"

Kate groans, and nips at his ear before rolling over and promptly falling asleep. He lays there a little longer, watching her, before succumbing to sleep himself.

Oddly, waking up next to Kate the next morning is a relief more than anything else, at least at first. He's home, in his own bed, his daughter safely upstairs, sleeping, he assumes. But then Kate wakes too, and snuggles into him, and her hands are suddenly moving beneath the sheets, gentle, purposeful, and the relief he seeks is suddenly something very different.

* * *

It turns out that when Alexis misses school, she's grumpy. Kate watches in amusement, trying to school her features to something resembling disbelief rather than out and out laughter. It's practically midday, and she and Rick are making brunch as Alexis whines at them. Whiny Alexis is oddly similar to Castle when he doesn't get his way. Apart from the blue eyes, she usually doesn't think the girl looks much like her father, but at the moment she can see the resemblance.

"You got to bed at midnight-" Rick tells her.

"And we have _alarm clocks_ in the house-" Alexis interrupts.

"And it's just one day."

"But I missed school on Friday as _well_," Alexis moans, and at that, Kate can't hold her chuckle anymore, earning a glare from Alexis.

Castle shakes his head. "I don't know how you're even mine," he tells his daughter.

"She asked for waffles at midnight last night," Kate reminds him, and he grins.

"Right you are. She must be mine." He ruffles Alexis' hair affectionately. "Now- sit. You can go to school tomorrow."

She does so resentfully, and Kate carries the waffles to the table- a concession to Alexis' demands last night.

"Did you have fun in L.A.?" Kate asks Alexis, because last night had been all about the flight, and the jacket- _God, that jacket is amazing_- and exhaustion.

"Uh-huh." Alexis nods, helping herself to a generous serving of berries and piling them on top of her waffle, then squirting maple syrup over them. Castle does the same and Kate grins to herself, exercising considerably more restraint as she reaches for the berries as well. "We stayed in a really cool hotel, and Dad hired a car, and it was warmer than New York. And we went to Venice Beach. And shopping." She takes a mouthful, and Kate realises that Alexis hasn't mentioned Meredith at all.

"And seeing your Mom?" she ventures. "How was that?" She glances at Rick- maybe she shouldn't even be bringing this up? But he's drinking his coffee and doesn't seem concerned.

"She was okay," Alexis says. "She told me she's coming to New York soon."

"Did she?" Rick's frowning. "She didn't tell me that."

Alexis shrugs. "She told me when you were paying for lunch yesterday."

"Oh. Well, I'm sure she'll let us know when she's on her way." Rick makes a face at Kate when Alexis looks away, and she thinks he probably doubts the sincerity of Meredith's New York plans. It took her long enough to agree to a visit in L.A.

They clean up after brunch, and Alexis goes upstairs to read in her room. Kate wishes she could just stay. "Are you going to write this afternoon?" she asks.

Rick looks like he's considering it. "Yeah, maybe. Or you could call in, too, and we could spend the afternoon together…"

She gives him a look. "With Alexis upstairs? And awake, I mean?"

"Why Beckett! I don't know what you had in mind, but I was just thinking of a nice movie and some popcorn, and maybe taking a walk later-"

"Liar," she laughs.

She calls out a goodbye upstairs to Alexis, but the red head tears down the stairs instead of just yelling back. "I missed you this weekend," she tells Kate earnestly as she throws her arms around the surprised cop.

"Let Kate go so she can get to work," Rick tells Alexis. "We'll see her again tonight." He looks at Kate. "Right?"

"Sure. But it could be late- I won't finish until at least ten." She looks at Alexis. "You'll probably be in bed- because I'm guessing you want to go to school tomorrow?"

* * *

"You're on a _stake-out_? For _real_?"

"Castle, what do you think being on stake-out actually _means_?" The excitement in his voice makes her laugh in spite of herself, and Hunter shoots her a dirty look. If she was in the car with anyone but Hunter she wouldn't have even taken the call, but she couldn't help herself.

"Car chases?" he suggests, hopefully.

She rolls her eyes. "I'm sitting here watching a building with Hunter. That's it."

"Oh! Tell her hi!"

Kate presses her lips together. "Talk to you later, Castle," she tells him, and hangs up.

When ten o'clock comes, so does the relieving shift. L.T. and another junior officer pull up behind them and after exchanging notes- no action for four hours- Hunter and Kate drive back to the precinct. Ugh. It's gotten late. Kate fills out her reports hastily. It's going to be eleven by the time she gets to Rick's- no way is Alexis still going to be up.

When she gets there, Alexis is indeed nowhere to be seen, and Rick lets her in, apparently distracted. He's pacing around the kitchen even as Kate shrugs her jacket off and hangs her scarf up with it.

"What's wrong?" she asks him.

"Meredith- it's complicated." He reaches into the liquor cabinet and pours himself a drink, offering one to her as well, but only as an afterthought. Huh. Her heart sinks. Something has happened, and Kate doesn't know what, but the tension suddenly in her stomach is making her nervous. "Meredith and I- well, our marriage may be over, but we-"

Kate looks a him, ashen. Her heart is in her stomach. "Oh God. You slept together." It's not a question. All those texts on the weekend, the phone calls? The promises he'd made in front of Alexis weeks ago? This morning, here? Did it mean nothing? She wants to throw up, even as her logical mind tells her it's not possible, that Rick wouldn't betray her. _Why _she's been dragging her heels in letting him define this is suddenly beyond her.

"No. No! Kate, no. Of course not!" _Okay_, she thinks. _So what's the problem_. His head is in his hands. "No. That's the problem. Usually- well, usually we would have, you know? But this time, I couldn't. She started- I mean, I think she was expecting something, because of our history and I don't think I've ever told her no before. So- I don't know, she wasn't all that easy to be around. And Alexis kept talking about you-"

"Alexis talked about me?"

"Uh-huh." He sounds almost _proud_. "Alexis has never really- well, she's never _met_ any of my- shit. Kate. I'm saying this all wrong."

It's Kate's turn to bury her head in her hands. "God, Rick. I know you have a past. And ex-sex aside, I'm okay with it, really."

"Fine. Fine. I have a past, you know that. But Alexis doesn't meet the women I'm with, because none of them mean anything. And none of them have ever meant enough for Meredith and I to- to _not_. And now. Well. Suddenly there's _you_. And suddenly I'm turning Meredith down, and Alexis spent three days raving about you." He smiles up at Kate, bashful, and there's that pride again. "Seriously, Kate. It was adorable."

"Alexis really never meets any of them? At all? Not even your CIA agent?"

"Who, Sophia?" Rick shakes his head. "Especially not her."

"Why especially not her?"

"It was different. I got access to the CIA, and then I met her. It wasn't like us. I didn't- I mean, Sophia was- it wasn't like this, okay?"

"Huh."

"What? You've never hidden in nothing relationships?"

Kate shrugs. Of course she has. "Well I never called them relationships when I did that."

"And now…" Rick trails off.

"And now Meredith is here?" Kate guesses.

"Now Meredith is here," Rick agrees.

Kate can hear the desperation in his voice, but she doesn't really understand it. "I'm sorry, Castle."

"For what?" Rick looks astonished.

"For- I don't know. Meredith should be there for Alexis, not me. Maybe- maybe I should step back."

Rick frowns at her. "Yeah, she should be there for Alexis. But she's not, and you have nothing to do with that." There's a sudden fierceness in his voice, a kind of fire in his eyes, that is new, to Kate. "Don't you ever, _ever_, apologise for loving my daughter."

* * *

_Fuck_. It was bad enough that Kate had to meet Gina, because that was awkward as hell, but when Meredith arrived at his door this afternoon, Rick had thought he would pass out. She'd swanned in, assuring him _caustically_ that she would stay at a hotel- with Alexis- and assuring him that she was well equipped to get Alexis to school in the morning. He'd let Alexis go somewhat unwillingly.

"Listen, Rick," Meredith had told him. "Alexis and I stay in a hotel, you have more time for your new girlfriend. That's what you want, isn't it?"

He'd shaken his head. It wasn't what he wanted, not at all. But how much damage could Meredith do in twenty-four hours? Alexis would be fine, he reasoned with himself, and no doubt after a day with the actual responsibility a child brought, his ex-wife would be more than ready to hand his daughter back and leave town.

And now he's pacing around his kitchen and living room, explaining to his girlfriend that his ex-wife is in town. _Fuck_.

"She flew across today. Showed up around three. Do you know what she said? She told me to have fun with _you_, while she had Alexis." He sighs.

"Okay, Castle? Do you think you're- I don't know- overreacting a little? She is Alexis' mother, after all- is it such a bad thing that she's here?" Why Kate has to be so logical is beyond him, and he looks at her, softening a little.

"I guess?"

"It's late, and I'm on an early tomorrow- let's just go to bed. We'll call Alexis first thing in the morning, make sure Meredith is getting her off to school okay, okay?"

He lets Kate lead him to the bedroom, but sleep is hard to come by. He debates calling the hotel and asking to be put through to Meredith's room, but lets it go, staring at the ceiling for another hour or so before sleep claims him.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks once again for the reviews, guys! Every new unread in my inbox makes me super happy!  
**


	33. Chapter 33

"_Okay, Castle? Do you think you're- I don't know- overreacting a little? She is Alexis' mother, after all- is it such a bad thing that she's here?" Why Kate has to be so logical is beyond him, and he looks at her, softening a little. _

"_I guess?"_

"_It's late, and I'm on an early tomorrow- let's just go to bed. We'll call Alexis first thing in the morning, make sure Meredith is getting her off to school okay, okay?"_

_He lets Kate lead him to the bedroom, but sleep is hard to come by. He debates calling the hotel and asking to be put through to Meredith's room, but lets it go, staring at the ceiling for another hour or so before sleep claims him._

* * *

Kate slips out early the next morning. Rick appears to be in a deep sleep and she doesn't want to wake him. She's back on a surveillance detail before she can protest, at Montgomery's instruction. Ugh. She texts Castle from the car while she and L.T. drink coffee and watch a doorway. At least she gets to do this in plain clothes. She actually doesn't mind the uniform, but she's over it. She figures she just has to hold out until she makes detective, and then- well, then she'll have to go shopping, for real, because a collection of jackets and heels won't cut it when she actually needs pants and shirts.

Castle calls her when she's on her way home at three. "Are you coming over later?"

She sighs. She's kind of torn. "Honestly? I miss my apartment. I wish you guys could just come here."

"Really?" There's surprise in his voice. Is he surprised that she sometimes prefers her more humble apartment to his loft? Considering the size of most Manhattan apartments, his is kind of obscene, so on paper it's by far the better apartment. Or does he think she'd rather be left alone? She's no extrovert (unlike Castle, the world was built for extroverts like Castle) but she finds herself more and more comfortable with both Castle and Alexis.

"Really," she tells him. She guesses he'll turn her down, and more likely than not she'll end up going around to his place.

"No," he asks again. "Are you really serious that you want us at your place, Beckett? Because Alexis has been asking for another sleepover but I keep putting her off, telling her you won't want to be invaded."

Really? I would love for both of you to come and stay over, if you think Alexis would really be okay with sleeping on the couch again?"

"I think she'd love to. We'll come over after I collect her from her violin lesson."

Kate smiles. "Then maybe I'll even pick up some food on my way home. I guess I have to feed you guys too, right?"

Castle laughs. "We can order in if you prefer."

"No- I'll get something." Kate shakes her head at herself. If she'd been asked to predict what she'd been doing in three months time back in January, being this domestic would have been the last thing she would have thought of. "Hey." She thinks of something else she wants to ask before they hang up. "Did you talk to Meredith and Alexis before Alexis went to school?"

"I did. They were fine- I guess I was worried for no reason," he tells her, and Kate grins. She kind of loves that he's such an amazing father. _Likes_, she tells herself in her head. She _likes_ that he's an amazing father. Love is- too much. She's not there yet, she tells herself. On that slightly unsteady and panicky thought she hangs up.

* * *

The phone rings, jerks her awake. Figures. She thought she'd take a super quick nap before Castle and Alexis came over, but she's managed to fall into a deep sleep, just to be pulled right back out of it. She fumbles on her nightstand, spilling her water glass as she reaches for the phone. "Shit." She answers without looking at the caller ID, it has to be the precinct because she's not expecting Castle for another hour. "Beckett."

"Kate. Kate!" There's a panic in his voice that she's never heard before. It's raw, grief filled.

"Castle?"

"Kate, oh God, Kate, I don't know where she is!"

"Slow down. Castle. Rick. Slow down. You're scaring me. You don't know where who is?" And before he can answer, she knows, of course she knows, her brain catches up with the sick feeling in her stomach.

"Alexis," Castle whispers. "Alexis and Meredith are missing."

* * *

Castle had gone to collect Alexis from school at three, intending to take her straight to her violin class before going to Kate's. He'd even packed an overnight bag for her. He'd kind of figured that Kate's apartment was off limits- so she'd let Alexis stay the night he was in hospital, sure, but he'd always thought of that as an anomaly, and figured that when Kate went home to her own place, she did it because she wanted time apart. He wasn't stupid- he knew that he was more of a people person than most people, and everything about Kate screamed that she liked privacy. He'd been struggling with the balance, to be honest, because sometimes he wondered if he wasn't smothering her a little. But, if she wanted him- and his daughter- in her apartment, then that meant she was in this, really in, right?

He had waited at the entrance to Alexis' school where he always waited, and watched the students trail out. He'd spotted most of Alexis' classmates, but Alexis wasn't there laughing with Paige, and she wasn't chasing after Lucy. She wasn't with Tara either, and when most of the kids had filed out- most into waiting cars, he's one of the only ones who walks to the school, he'd entered the school grounds, climbing the stairs past the flagpole with trepidation.

His daughter had never had a detention before, but that was his first thought. He had no idea how the morning had played out. In fact, he hasn't been able to remember a time where Meredith ever took Alexis to school before. Alexis is a bright kid, she should be able handle the interruption to her routine, but she has a tendency to take everything to heart and act out when her Mom is introduced as a variable. Actually, since they stepped foot on the plane at JFK Rick had been waiting for the other shoe to drop, expected a tantrum or a flash of temper. But apart from exhaustion, and the occasional (not so occasional) complaints about missing Kate, Alexis had been perfect. So, just maybe, Alexis had been kept back in class, but even as he ran the scenario through in his head it sat wrong with him. He pays a fortune for tuition at Marlowe Prep, and if Alexis had been kept after class he'd have received a phone call by now. The security at the school is one of the things that drew him to it.

As he'd entered Alexis' classroom, he'd really realised. Something was very, very wrong. Alexis' teacher had been there alone at her desk, grading papers, and she'd glanced up at him in confusion. "Mr. Castle. Is everything okay?"

"Uh- Ms. Parker- do you know where my daughter is?"

She had looked up from her grading properly then, putting her pen down as she spoke. "Your wife- ex-wife- collected Alexis earlier. I'm sorry- I was under the impression she'd phoned you."

"Oh." Rick had shaken his head. Damn Meredith to hell. "No, she didn't." He'd sigh. It wasn't the teacher's fault, Meredith had the same parental rights as he did, and she was entitled to pick Alexis up too. But- earlier? "Sorry," he'd started again. "Earlier- when?"

"Before lunch. She said there was an emergency." Ms. Parker had shaken her head. "I'm sorry. If I'd realised you didn't know, I would have called you."

Rick had waved it off. "Not too worry. Thank you. I'll call her." As far as the supposed emergency was concerned, he wasn't really worried. Because taking Alexis out of school on a whim would totally be Meredith's style. But he was pissed, to say the least. He dialled Meredith- it was a good thing his contacts synced when he switched his SIM to the new phone, because he didn't know _her_ cell number by heart- but the call went straight to voicemail. He didn't leave a message, just hung up and tried again- and again. And again. _Fuck_.

* * *

When Rick arrives at Kate's apartment, it's obvious that he's freaking the fuck out. Kate's half tempted to offer him a drink, just a shot, before she remembers that she only had tequila here, and that she had tipped it down the sink.

Now she's sitting on her couch, and they're going around in circles. "I'm sure they're fine," she tells him again, only to look up and see he's wearing a hole in her floor with his pacing. If he would just stay still for a moment, they could discuss this, come up with a plan-

"Call the hospitals again," he tells her.

Kate shakes her head. "I've _done_ that. I've spoken to the precinct- they've checked the hospital. They've got people looking, they've got it covered."

"Well- call _again_?" He's desperate, actually wringing his hands together, and Kate sighs. He's not listening. "Why did she check out of her hotel?"

In truth, Kate's frantic too, but she pushes her fears down. She's seen way too much as a police officer, and if she goes through the more dire scenarios with Castle she'll freak out too, and she can't, she just can't, she needs to stay strong, keep it together for the both of them, and for Alexis too. Because, _shit_, if _she_ needs Alexis back this badly, what is Rick going through, being separated from his little girl like this? The thoughts make her head spin, and she struggles to come up with a more palatable idea than any of the horror stories dancing through her mind. "Could she be flying back to L.A.?"

Castle shakes his head. "No. No, surely not. Why would she- I mean- she doesn't actually want custody of Alexis- oh God. What if she's changed her mind? What if she wants custody of Alexis now? But why- She can't- I need- should I speak to my _lawyer_?"

"Slow down." Kate stands up again and looks at her watch. She wants Castle to slow down, but she needs time to speed up, to rush them through this. There's going to be a logical explanation, and they're going to find it- she just hopes it's sooner rather than later. They _have_ to get Alexis back, and soon.

And finally- finally- Rick's phone buzzes, and he leaps on it. "Meredith? Meredith?"

Kate can tell Meredith is talking, but she can't hear what the woman is saying. But she can see Castle's face, and he looks like he's about to explode. "You're _where_?" he yells, loudly enough to disturb her neighbours, she thinks. And then, more quietly, but with a frightening measure of venom in his voice- "What the _fuck_ are you doing with my daughter in _Paris_?"


	34. Chapter 34

"_Slow down." Kate stands up again and looks at her watch. She wants Castle to slow down, but she needs time to speed up, to rush them through this. There's going to be a logical explanation, and they're going to find it- she just hopes it's sooner rather than later. They _have _to get Alexis back, and soon. _

_And finally- finally- Rick's phone buzzes, and he leaps on it. "Meredith? Meredith?"_

_Kate can tell Meredith is talking, but she can't hear what the woman is saying. But she can see Castle's face, and he looks like he's about to explode. "You're _where_?" he yells, loudly enough to disturb her neighbours, she thinks. And then, more quietly, but with a frightening measure of venom in his voice- "What the _fuck _are you doing with my daughter in _Paris_?"_

* * *

"Of _course_ she cried! She's terrified of flying. Which you would know if you had listened to us at all on the weekend!"

It's Kate's turn to pace as she listens to Castle on the phone. _Paris_? What was Meredith thinking? Until now she's been pretty willing to assume that Castle has a somewhat jaded view of the woman, and to guess she's not all as bad as that, but who takes their daughter to France on an impromptu trip?

"For _lunch_?"

Kate doesn't know how steam isn't coming out of Rick's ears. She's pretty sure if she was having that conversation with Meredith she'd be throwing the phone across the room in frustration and anger. He hangs up and tosses the phone onto the sofa, and the look of desolation on his face has her across the room and wrapping her arms around him, but it's not enough, there's no way for it to be enough.

"She cried. And threw up on the plane. Again." Rick doesn't look as desperate as he did even a moment ago, but he looks exhausted. "How could she think this was okay?" he asks Kate.

She can only shake her head. "I don't know, Rick. I just don't know. But the main thing is that she's fine. She is, isn't she?"

He nods. "Yeah. She's fine. Meredith- get this- thought of a great _lunch_ place, and figured she'd take Alexis there. Ugh. It's 2am there. Alexis is asleep and Meredith is complaining of jet lag." He sighs, and Kate hears the weight of the world in his voice.

"Okay- so-" Kate looks at him. "What's the next step?"

Rick shrugs. "Wait for Meredith to bring my daughter home?"

Kate shakes her head. "No. No. You don't even know when that's going to be." She looks at her watch. It's eight o'clock. And Kate does action, she doesn't sit around talking. She needs the equivalent of strapping on a thigh holster and a bullet proof vest. "You need a better plan-"

She looks at him, wondering if he'll come up with it on his own, and he looks at her, his blue eyes lighting up. "Let's go get her!"

Kate nods. _Wait. Let's go get her? As in, both of them? _"Really?"

"Uh-huh." He looks at her like she's crazy, and she realises he thinks she's questioning the _idea_.

"No- no, you should go. Go get her, I mean. Will there even be any seats left this late?"

Rick shrugs, and snatches the phone back up from where he threw it, and starts to dial. "I have a guy."

* * *

Rick wanders into Kate's bedroom to make the call. Not really on purpose, but he's somehow become used to pacing in the last few hours and standing still while he waits for his guy to confirm he can get a plane- well, he needs to move, and standing still is just not going to happen. Finally he gets confirmation- they can have a jet and a pilot, and the sooner they get to the private plane hanger at JFK, the sooner they can leave.

He looks around Kate's room when he hangs up. He spots _A skull at springtime_ on the bedside table. Ha. He'd laughed when he signed it. He thinks he'll sign all her books, slowly, step by step, and let her discover the messages. The bedroom is so very Kate- light and dark. Cosy, safe, and when the hell did he start to think of Kate as his safe place? That- that has kind of snuck up on him. He thinks he loves her, but he's thought until now that Kate was the complicated one with issues, felt like it was up to him to keep watch over her, even as she watched over the city. Huh. He's been so damn blind.

Rick marvels at his own arrogance. He thought he was folding Kate into his family, giving her something she didn't have, but he's suddenly realising that it goes both ways and Kate's folded him into her life, too. And Alexis. His anger toward Meredith has dissipated. He's still hurt, but his daughter is safe, and he's going to go and get her, and Kate's going to be at his side when he does.

_Shit. _He realises- he actually doesn't know if she wants to come, if she _can_ come- he habitually asks her to call in to work and take one of the many personal days he knows she has accrued, and she habitually says no- and how can she just take off a day or two to fly to _Paris_ with him? In fact, he doesn't even know if Kate has a passport.

When he heads back into the living room, Kate's on her phone, talking in a low voice. She hangs up and looks at him, an odd look on her face.

Are you okay?" he asks her.

"I called in to work," she tells him. There's an edge to her voice, something he doesn't quite recognise.

"Do- do you have a passport?" he asks her.

Kate looks at him and bites her lip. _Crap_. No passport. She shrugs. "Do you really want me to come with you?"

Castle breathes a sigh of relief. _That's_ what the funny look was for. But how could she doubt that he would want her to come with him? "Of _course_," he assures her. "So- do you? Have a passport, I mean?"

"Oh. Yeah. Somewhere here-" Kate heads into her bedroom, and he trails after her.

"Good," he tells her. "Because I was afraid you might not want to come, or that you might not have a passport- not everyone travels out of the States, you know- or- oh! You should pack a bag. Quickly- we can leave as soon as we get to the airport-"

Kate steps back, and places her hands on his shoulders. "Rick. Slow. Down." He exhales with her, feels himself physically relax, even as his mind is still going a million miles an hour. "Sit," she directs him, nudging him toward her bed. "I'm going to pack," she tells him. "And then we're going to the airport. Okay?"

So Rick sits on the edge of her bed, because following Kate's instruction is the only thing that makes sense for him right now. "Okay," he agrees. He watches as Kate grabs a shoulder bag from her wardrobe. "Can you really pack that light?" he asks her. And, _God_, he wants her to hurry, but his logical mind understands that she is already packing _quickly_, and he holds his tongue and refrains from hurrying her more.

She grins back at him. "When you take me on a romantic getaway, I promise I'll have more than this. But right now- let's just go get Alexis and get back to New York before I'm out of a job." She stuffs a pair of jeans into the bag, and he catches a glimpse of lacy panties before she can hide them. She unlocks the drawer next to her bed. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't wondered what was in it- locked drawers, doors and boxes were infinitely appealing to Rick. He leans over, and she swats him away, but not before he sees her piece in there. Huh. Makes sense. She grabs her passport out, and waves the rectangle of royal blue at him. "Semester abroad," she tells him. "Kiev."

He nods, guessing that explains the number of Russian authors on her shelves, both translated and not. It never occurred to him to ask whether or not she could read her copy of _War and peace_ in the original language, and again, he kicks himself. He sees what he wants to, and no further. He teases her relentlessly about the amount of crime fiction on her shelves, and loves that she has his whole collection. Yet not once has he asked her about the Russian literature on her shelves, or the art and design books on her coffee table.

"So." Kate's wearing her jacket, the red one he and Alexis bought, and her bag is over her shoulder. She looks calm, and cool, and ready for a weekend away as though this is nothing more than a trip to the Hamptons. "What do we need from your place?" she asks.

"Nothing," he tells her. He doesn't want to go there, doesn't figure on needing anything he can't get in Paris, is desperate to just be on that plane.

Kate raises an eyebrow. "Nothing? Really?"

He shrugs. "I have a bag for Alexis because I thought we were staying here tonight."

"Okay. So, _she_ has clothing- what about Monkey Bunkey?" He shrugs, and Kate speaks again, making a face at him. "And don't forget _your_ passport, Rick."

Castle's eyes widen. _Crap. Again. _Fine. Okay, he needs a passport too. And no, he doesn't think Alexis has Monkey Bunkey. "Okay," he agrees. "Let's stop by my my place."

* * *

They make it to the loft, and then to the airport in what Kate thinks must be record time. Castle had no problem urging the cab driver to run a few reds for the promise of an extra hundred, and the cop in her had cringed, but she'd turned a blind eye. She'd made Castle pack a change of clothes for himself, justifying it by assuring him that if he was stinky, she'd be the one to suffer. She'd dashed up to Alexis' room and grabbed Monkey Bunkey from the bed, while Castle found his own passport, and then she'd insisted he call his mother and let her know what was going on.

Finally, finally, they are on board a small jet. It's nothing like the planes at the other side of the airport, and it blows her mind all over again that's she sitting on a private jet next to Richard Castle, headed to Paris, even if the circumstances are beyond belief. It's just past nine and the nap she'd taken this afternoon feels like it never happened. Now they're sitting still at last and the adrenaline of the last few hours is wearing off, and Kate feels weary all over again. She's been so close to physically shaking, pushing herself to hold it together for Castle. And she's hungry. All those ingredients she'd bought for dinner, just sitting out on her counter now. "Huh. Six hour flight, hmm?"

He nods, a faint smile on his face, and in spite of her own anxiety, she's glad that he seems to be feeling more like himself. Since she'd prodded him into taking action he'd perked up, apparently needing a plan but unable to come up with one himself. "Six hours- about that, yeah."

"I hate flying," she confesses.

"You do?" He looks alarmed. "I would never have made you come if I knew you were scared of flying," he tells her.

"I'm not _scared_, Castle. I just- hate it."

"But why?" He looks thoroughly confused, and she guesses she's not surprised. He loves gadgets and there are a lot of buttons to play with in a plane.

"It's so boring," she tells him. "Sitting here, nothing to do for six hours."

"Not nothing, Beckett," and this time the smile widens to an outright grin as he raises his eyebrows. "We could always join the mile high club."

* * *

To Rick's dismay, Kate turns down the offer of joining the mile high club. He feigns disappointment, but he's relieved because the reality is he's far too worried and wired. He's tapping his feet up and down, and wriggling around, unable to get comfortable. Once they're in the air though, Kate digs around in her purse and hands him a couple of pills. "What's this?" he asks.

"Sleeping pills, Castle."

"I don't know-" he's reluctant to take anything, but at the same time he'd really love to take the edge off.

Kate's face softens a little. "Castle- take them. Or, if you're not used to taking them, maybe just try taking one. It might not make you sleep, but I don't think it will hurt."

He shrugs, but takes both the pills. He's travelled a lot before, book promotions and vacations both. But every other time he's taken an international flight it's been in the first class cabin of a commercial jet and he's been distracted by champagne rather than the quasi kidnapping of his daughter. "Are you going to take any?"

She shakes her head. "I'm okay," she tells him, her face already swimming before his eyes. Logically, he thinks the sleeping pills can't work that fast, but he's just so exhausted, and the shadow of _pissed at Meredith_ has left him feeling hungover.

* * *

Kate shakes Castle awake when they land, and he still looks groggy as they make their way through customs. Private jets are one thing, but the passport control process is as tedious as Kate found it last time she was in Paris, after her semester in Kiev. Still, she reflects, showing a visa free passport in France sure beats showing an American passport at customs in Ukraine, just years after the fall of the Iron Curtain.

Castle blinks at her, unseeing. Okay. Maybe she shouldn't have given him the sleeping pills because they seem a little strong for him. Kate's fought insomnia along with her nightmares before- one reason she figures she can live with the nightmares is because they mean she's actually asleep and that beats the hell out of not sleeping and walking around like the living dead. She dips her hand into his back pocket and hands him his passport.

Castle's eyes widen as he focuses on Kate. "Where did you get that? You had your hand in my pocket and I didn't even feel it? Do it again!"

She laughs and rolls her eyes. "No. Just- be ready for passport control, okay?"

* * *

**A/N: This is the second last chapter guys- final will be out on Saturday morning. Thanks for reading this far!**


	35. Chapter 35

_Castle blinks at her, unseeing. Okay. Maybe she shouldn't have given him the sleeping pills because they seem a little strong for him. Kate's fought insomnia along with her nightmares before- one reason she figures she can live with the nightmares is because they mean she's actually asleep and that beats the hell out of not sleeping and walking around like the living dead. She dips her hand into his back pocket and hands him his passport. _

_Castle's eyes widen as he focuses on Kate. "Where did you get that? You had your hand in my pocket and I didn't even feel it? Do it again!"_

_She laughs and rolls her eyes. "No. Just- be ready for passport control, okay?"_

* * *

They make their way to the hotel and Rick finds himself waking up properly in the taxi. He cracks the window, and the cab driver glances at him but says nothing. Kate had given the driver the hotel's name and address, and he can tell her French is clumsy, but it's a hell of a lot more than he can do, and his mind is blown once again when he realises that Kate speaks French on top of Russian, and possibly Ukrainian. Will this woman ever cease to amaze him?

She easily charms the man at reception, and again, he doesn't know exactly what she's saying, but it doesn't matter because she beckons him to follow her to the lift and presses the button for the third floor. "You speak French," he finally says, as the elevator begins its assent.

She nods. "Yeah. A little. Not very well. But I spent a week here and took a language course at the end of my semester abroad."

"So- what other languages do you speak?" It's easier to ask questions, easier to block out the sudden _fear_ that's in his stomach, because what if this wasn't just a stunt, and Meredith really wants custody of his daughter?

"Russian. And a tiny bit of Ukrainian."

"But Kiev is in the Ukraine," he says stupidly. "And that's where you lived, right?"

"Right," she agrees. "It is in Ukraine. But my course was in Russian, and people speak Russian, mostly, anyway." The lift chimes and the doors open. "Room thirty four," Kate tells him, and it's on the tip of his tongue to tell her that he does know the numbers in French, but given that she can apparently tell the difference between Russian and Ukrainian he figures he'll just sound like an ass, so he trails behind her dumbly.

He raises his hand to knock at the door, and he takes a moment to look at Kate. "Thank you," he tells her, and she presses a kiss to his mouth.

"You're welcome." She squeezes his hand before nudging him toward the door. "Go ahead."

He knocks, and hears footsteps, and the door swings open. "Rick?" Meredith's look is one of dismay, and possibly disgust, and she eyes Beckett with a disdain that makes him uncomfortable.

But then his daughter is flying into his arms as though it's been _months_- "Dad!" She throws her arms around his neck as he scoops her up, damn, his baby girl is getting _big_. He doesn't know the last time she leapt at him like that and absurdly he worries for his back, but all too soon Alexis is scrambling down and hugging Kate, who grins and hugs her back.

"Well- come in then-" Meredith says dryly.

Rick steps into the suite, and pulls Kate in after him. He's pulling his overnight case behind him, and Kate puts down her own shoulder bag, extracting Monkey Bunkey from it, presenting the worn doll to Alexis with a wry grin.

* * *

The scene has escalated quickly. One second there's deadly silence between Rick and Meredith, and the next, voices are raised and poison is spilling from their lips.

"...She's my daughter- and how you even got her passport from my locked safe-"

"-I don't know why you're even so sure she's _yours_," Meredith spits out, and much as Kate wants to see Rick's reaction to that _lie_- it must be a lie, right?- all she can see is Alexis' eyes widen even as her face crumples.

"You two-" she hisses, interrupting them, and hating that she's tarring Rick with the same brush as Meredith, but in this moment Alexis is her only priority, her instinct to get the girl the hell away from this driving her to a rough kind of action- "sort this _out_. Alexis and I are going for a walk and a coffee, and when we get back, I expect you will both have civil tongues in your head."

She pulls Alexis toward her and folds her into a one armed hug, even as she propels the child out of the hotel suite and into the long hallway. She hears Meredith's voice before the door shuts- "Oh, so when I take my own daughter away for a few days it's kidnapping, but when a perfect stranger does it, you're not going to stop her?"

Alexis is crying as they take the lift from the third floor to the lobby, but she wipes her face determinedly as Kate leads her through the doors of the hotel and into the little laneway. "Are you okay?" she asks Alexis at last, when they've gotten at least two blocks away from the hotel.

Alexis nods. "Where are we going, Kate?"

Kate grimaces, and releases Alexis, running both her hands through her hair as she assesses. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes at the girl. "Don't know," she admits, and gets a shy smile in return. She looks around. Okay. Cafe across the street. Her stomach rumbles, at the thought of food, and she wonders when Alexis last ate- had she thrown up on her plane ride over and been unable to stomach any food? _Crap_. Too late, Kate realises she's only got American dollars in her wallet, and not many at that. "You don't have money on you, do you?" she asks, feeling faintly ridiculous for asking a nine year old for a loan. Alexis shakes her head. Right. Of course not. Kate looks around again, casting her eyes further down the street, and spotting an ATM. Well, that's what her credit card is for, right? She tilts her head and motions for Alexis to follow her again. She stops in front of the cash machine, hoping her card will work here, and that whatever cash advance fee is involved for a foreign withdrawal isn't going to hurt too badly when she gets her bank statement next month.

She sits them down in the cafe she'd seen. "Have you eaten?" she asks Alexis.

"No."

Kate orders a _petit déjeuner_ for each of them, her own with espresso, and hot chocolate for Alexis.

"You speak French?" Alexis asks.

"A tiny bit." Kate holds her thumb and forefinger close together. "Are you really-" she starts, and then stops. Because asking the girl if she's okay sees truly redundant. "What happened, Lex?" She tries out the nickname without thinking, and second guesses herself right away, but Alexis doesn't seem to take it as anything amiss.

Alexis shrugs. "Mom wanted to show me Paris. She told me it would be fun. And it was fun, in a way. She took me out of school- but I didn't want to go on another plane." Alexis sighs, like the weight of the world is on her shoulders. "I didn't know she hadn't asked Dad if she could take me, until I woke up and heard her on the phone last night." A tear rolls down Alexis' cheek, and she hiccups, but pushes on, sipping at her hot chocolate. "I shouldn't have gone, I should have told her I had to stay at school-"

"No- Alexis. No. It's not your fault. And you know your Dad's not mad at _you_, right?"

"Kate, what Mom said, when she said I might not even be Dad's- do you think that's true?"

Kate's eyes widen. _Fuck_. This part of the conversation- she does _not _know how the hell to navigate _this_. Well. She tries to make a habit of truth telling, and she's not going to start lying to Alexis now. "I don't know, Alexis." She bites her lip. "I think the important thing to remember, no matter what, is that your Dad loves you, and so does your Mom." She pauses. "For that matter, I do too, okay, Alexis?"

Alexis leans across the table into an awkward hug. "I love you too, Kate." She leans back, and giggles, suddenly looking a lot more settled as she liberally spreads Nutella across her croissant. "Hey, will you teach me some French before we go back and rescue Dad from Mom?"

* * *

"I do love her," Meredith tells him.

He rubs the bridge of his nose. "That's not in question, Meredith. I know you do. But you can't just take her to another country without consulting me. And you _cannot_ go around telling me, or anyone else for that matter, that she's not mine. _Especially_ not in front of her."

"I'm sorry, Richard," she says, and he thinks she really is. "And I do think she's yours."

He exhales slowly, willing himself to remain calm and not focus on the fact she only _thinks_ Alexis is his. Their marriage and any pretence of fidelity is long over, he reminds himself. The door opens before he can say anything else he'll regret, and he's happy to see his daughter looks much calmer, even if her eyes are still red. Kate's eyes are suspiciously pink as well, and he wants to get down on bended knee and thank the heavens for the way she loves his daughter. He settles for steadying himself by kissing her cheek and gripping her arm with his right hand, even as he hugs Alexis to him with his left.

"Well, Alexis." He hates to say it, just wants to get back on a plane and get back to New York city, but while he and Meredith were alone they agreed she could have the day with Alexis in Paris today. "How about you and your Mom go do some shopping, and get some lunch, and then you, Kate and I will fly back home this afternoon?"

Alexis nods uncertainly, but Kate smiles at her reassuringly. "You know what you can do at lunch, Alexis? You can practice the French I taught you." At that, Castle just about melts. He's been in here, discussing the terms and conditions of shared parenthood with Meredith, and Kate's been teaching his daughter French.

He turns to Kate. "Are you good with this?"

Kate smiles. "Spending a day in Paris. I think I can do that."

Personally, Rick thinks if he never sees Paris again it will be too soon. He shakes his head, and addresses his ex-wife. "Four o'clock, Meredith. No later."

"Four o'clock," she agrees, so he kisses Alexis and leaves the room with Kate.

"Are you okay?" she asks him, as soon as they're out of earshot.

He shrugs. "I'm exhausted. This is not how I pictured our first trip away to an exotic location."

"So you've pictured our first trip away, have you?" Kate teases him softly, and he finds it in himself to smile.

"I have." He raises an eyebrow at her. "I was thinking something beachy. You know- you in a swimsuit, me rubbing lotion…" He sighs. No. This is not what he pictured at all. "Instead, I'm fighting with Meredith about my daughter. Can we maybe just kill time in a cafe until we meet Alexis?"

"Sure. I'll take you where I took Alexis this morning- it's where I take all the Castles when they're upset." Kate's smiling, and he appreciates her levity. She sits him down in a corner booth at the cafe, and impresses him yet again as she easily orders coffees. "Castle- what Meredith said-"

She breaks off, and he can hear her hesitance. "About whether or not I'm Alexis' father?"

"Yeah," she breathes. "That."

He grimaces. "I'm her father, not that Meredith will ever know for sure."

"What do you mean?"

He sighs. "I checked. I had it checked out, years ago. When Meredith first left. Because of how she left- I couldn't trust her. Not because I-" He pauses, wants to explain himself properly. "I don't think I could ever love Alexis any less. But I needed to know, in case anyone ever tried to take her away from me. I had to be sure. And- thank God- she's mine."

* * *

The flight home is a lot calmer than the flight over, Kate reflects. There's a certainty to it, a comfort in taking a scheduled commercial flight, and going home.

The afternoon had passed almost too quickly. After they'd had some coffee she'd insisted that Rick eat something, and then that he walk with her. They'd passed a half dozen cheese shops before she'd decided- she'd gone in and chosen a blue, and a cheddar, and a baguette. Rick had caught on quickly, and insisted on getting a bottle of wine, and Kate had ducked into a tiny market and lucked out by finding plastic cups, and a knife for the cheese and baguette. "Who says we can't enjoy a day in Paris in the spring?" she'd asked him as they'd found a patch of grass amongst the crowds under the Eiffel Tower.

He'd grinned, and poured the wine into the empty cups. "And, Officer Beckett, for you, enjoying a spring day in Paris means drinking in public, does it?"

She'd smiled back. "I have a feeling it's not _completely_ legal here," she'd admitted. "But I think it's okay for a lunch picnic, they just enforce the ban at night." Rick had taken a sip of his wine, and stared up at the tower, unconsciously stroking the scar on his wrist that was still there from the car accident. Kate had caught his hand with hers and run her fingertip along the scar with him.

"Remember the first glass of wine I got you?"

She'd rolled her eyes at him. "I can't believe actually I called you after that." She shook her head. "Busy couple of months, huh?"

He'd looked at her, and she'd been overwhelmed for the hundredth time by the impossibly blue eyes meeting her own. "Busy indeed," he'd agreed, leaning in to kiss her. She'd kissed him back, surprised by her own sudden _need _to be as close to him as possible, and as she'd pulled him closer to her, she'd found herself moaning into his mouth. He'd reached a hand around her waist, and damn, he was practically laying her down on this lawn right here, and she had a sudden flash of awareness of just how public the park was, and she'd pushed him away. "What?" he'd asked, before looking around, and chuckling softly. "Oh. Right." She thinks he's almost blushing, and for a man who stole a police horse when naked, she thinks that's quite the testament to just how quickly they'd both nearly lost control.

By the time their plane departs, it's dark. Alexis has been assigned a seat across the aisle, but as soon as the seatbelt sign is off, Kate lifts the armrest between Rick and herself, and the girl scrambles over and settles between them. She falls asleep somewhere over the Atlantic, her head in Kate's lap and her legs sprawled over Rick. Kate looks at Rick, taking his hand, even as her other hand brushes soothingly through Alexis' hair. "I'm looking forward to going home," she tells him, and he smiles back at her, his eyes sleepy.

Kate's drifting off to sleep herself. As her eyelids grow heavier she feels him lean into her and kiss her hair. She's not sure if she's already dreaming when she hears him whisper into her ear. "Love you, Beckett."

* * *

**A/N: Whether you read through this over the last few months, or if you just caught up all at once, I thank you! When a few stray words leapt into my brain then spilt through my fingertips onto the keyboard just after Christmas, I didn't foresee **_**this **_**and the way it would overtake my life. I really thought that was ambitious and unlikely to be finished, and then I naively thought I'd wrap it all up in a maximum of twenty chapters, and - evidently **_**I had no idea**_**! I wanted younger, less damaged Castle and Beckett, and I had read quite a few of these which were awesome, and I wanted to write Alexis' first trip(!) to Paris with Meredith, which I have only read maybe once- guess I took the long road there! **

**If you have a review for me now it's all done, I'd be glad to read it, and I'm open to prompts for sequels for this one. I'll be posting something new soon (CastleFicathon! I'm so in!) so hopefully you'll follow me so you can read that.**

**Thanks. x**


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